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Show m$ fx & r FIRECRACKERS ft 532 Not Oualifld. The Ladles' committee on the celebration cele-bration of the Fourth ti dlar-UHHliig the proposed program of exercises. "I think." suggested a dimpled blonde, "that It would be awful r.lce to have some man with a good voice read the Declaration of Independence." At this Juncture a woman with a square Jaw and decpiet eyes observ-id: observ-id: "It might be well, bnt I am opposed to having a married man read the document. It does not do to allow them to encourage tbeuiselvea too much. ONLY PHILANTHROPIC. The Hoy-Poor little gal! She'a ao Veered dut It would be positively un-gentlcmanly un-gentlcmanly In inn not to awut her and take de firecracker away from herl First to Assert Men's Rights. Thomas Jefferson and his colleagues In the continental congress did not by any means invent liberty and equality. Hut they were the first legislative assembly as-sembly to declare that all men are t i titled to equal rights. Cone Over tor the Enemy. The Pup Wow! Ml bet I never, nev er will bnrk an' wag me tall when Independence Day Is mentioned after this! Nearly All. Sirs. Xayboie Did your little brother broth-er come homo from the Fourth of July picnic all right? I.lttlo I.I.7I0 Yes'm all except hl hair and lingers. "THE GLORIOUS FOURTH." if 7 Mr. Prosy My boy, do you know why you are celebrating this grand lay? Kid 'Cause, Undo Ed, bo give me a quarter to do It with! PROOF OF THE DAY. r-V r Mr, Torpedo Well, you certainly must have celebrated! Mr. Cracker Yen; can't you seo I'm completely bunted? Their Busy Day. "Who," shouted the Impassioned orator, ora-tor, "who nmoiiK uh has any cause to be happier limn his neighbor on thin glorlou day of the natlon'H hlrth?" A man with his head bandaged and both hands In a sling, aro In the rear of the hall mid exclaimed: "The do tors!" Trouble Ahead. Claneey I'hwat'a all th' thrubblo In lh' alley heyant? HoganSoinn o' th b'ys fed Casey's gout a doen uv these caution crackers an" now dhcy's thrylu t' git I.Iui t' ate a box of matches. Real Patriotism. A good citizen la always a patriot. That's the bent way la the world to t how patriotism. |
