Show y pf N e a aTHE T THE E WOMEN'S WOl ARMY AR Tramp tramp tramp the girls are marching Women in uniform will be the 1942 feature of our war program Girls will be doughboys doughboy The bill creating a Women's Auxiliary Auxiliary Aux Aux- Auxiliary Army has been passed and andone andone one creating a Women's Auxiliary Navy is in the works It is soon going to be a question question ques ques- tion whether to tip your hat toa to toa toa a lady or give her a salute There will be gals in the new army and it is fairly obvious that tha t before long there will be so many of ot them in uniform that a woman dressed like a woman is going to feel conspicuous It is all going goins to be bo a terrific I blow at feminine daintiness and charm The boudoir Is going to look like an army locker room every clothes hanger is going to have a military garment on it and the male members of the family are going to have their troubles telling which are their hats and which belong to mother and sister We fear a big drop in charm A woman has to have everything to project oomph in flat heels and an army hat There will be no generals majors colonels etc in the Female Re Re- serve Those responsible for tor the matter were smart enough to J. J know I that chaos might result But there w will ll be other less militant titles The ladies will be ranked as directors I assistant directors first leaders second leaders junior leaders etc The preliminary battles will be I II I fought over the question who are areto areto areto to be plain everyday members The gals will be paid Directors will get a year and expenses assistant directors will get 2400 I and expenses and those from rom junior leaders to first officers will get from 48 to 2000 a year and expenses Expenses will not include bridge losses Just what the ladies will do has not been completely decided but if it the boys in the army could get their then wish some of them will be assigned to cook make beds and do the general general gen gen- eral housework which the boys now have to do Nothing would raise the morale of the American buck private like belog being being be be- ing log relieved of the job of making his own bed The Women's Army will be noncombatant non- non combatant Except within its own ranks Ed It may be sent anywhere in the world And there is this one great consolation it will not be sent out in those funny spring and summer hats bats Dl Get the flashlight Willie Poppers Popper's gonna take lake us to New NewYork NewYork NewYork York to see the sights Its It's so dark in the heart of NewYork New NewYork York now that folks are doing their necking OUTSIDE the movie houses U S. S to Use Alcohol to Make Rubber Headline We suppose this will mean a return of those wobbly rear tires Private Purkey's Turkeys sweetheart Harnet Harriet Harriet Har Har- riet net says she supposed all those soldiers are being sent to Ireland because they are green troops THOSE MUSICAL COMMERCIALS COl Radio advertisers are going jingle mad There is hardly a product on the air market today that hasn't been set to music You cant can't tune into the radio these days without finding yourself in the middle of some musical boost especially especially espe espe- especially written for infantile intellects There was ns a time when an announcer an nn- announcer would plug a drink hair oil bon bolt bon or cigarette in a straight TALK He lIe didn't need an orchestra to say a a. good word for a n loaf of bread or a choir to emphasize the fife value of ofa a n can of beer He didn't have to set a Mother Goose jingle to music to beat down your our sales resistance Radio is the most imitative of all the arts Let some sausage maker come on the air with a sales talk via a n male quartette and a dozen other business men will have bave their commercials Are you OU a n cigar manufacturer Very well You'll want something like this to convince the American public that you have the best smoke Health and vigor's what you ou need aced You can get eon cm yes CS indeed Smoke new cigar Tra la tra ti-a la tra la lar |