Show a l Man Nan About Town How lIow British Lord Louis Mount- Mount batten the ex-Captain ex of the Illustrious Illustrious Illus Illus- will soon roon be making front page news again but that's a naval secret He was telling us about the sinking of the Hood by the Bismarck and the way the Bismarck was chased trapped and destroyed suggested that the complete exciting sea saga be given to the newspapers newspapers to to cheer lovers of freedom Heavens no ejaculated the Admiral No more publicity The incident has had too much of a press pressas as it is Observation Eddy Duchin says hes he's surprised that none of the isolationist iso iso- Ja editors headlined it this vay American Destroyer R Rams ms Nazi gazi razi Torpedo I o Weve We've Met Iet Her A lovely blonde walked into a night spot nose in air Someone cracked sure putting on the dog since she's been to the Coast You mean Dick Todd elaborated ed gone Holly woof I Dont Don't Believe It Rosemary Lane met a panhandler who asked for a I nickel f era cuppa and her name and address Why my name and address Oh dont don't get me wrong he replied replied replied re re- re- re plied I want my secretary to drop you a note of thanks S By Way of or Report Most papers missed this bit at the Browne Bioff-Browne trial where testimony about thousand thousand thou thou- sand dollar bills is being tossed about like confetti Judge John C C. Knox who has a was questioning Nick Schenck of who was having trouble remembering remember remember- ing his annual income Well just try to give it to us approximately approximately approximately ap ap- ap- ap proximately within said whose record is the best beston on the federal bench whose deci deci- decisions decisions involve billions and whose salary salary salary sal sal- ary is a year Berkson Berkson Berk Berk- Idioms Idiom's Delight Seymour son of News contributed this one to the book of anecdotes called The Best I Know An American Reporter was summoned to the office office of of- fice flee of the Moscow censor who angrily angrily angrily an an- objected to this dispatch The American Ambassador stood within a stones stone's throw of Stalin What do you mean b by this outrageous outrageous outrageous out out- insult thundered the cen cen- sor You know perfectly well that he didn't throw a stone at Mr Stalin The reporter finally explained it was an American idiom So said the dope In that case we change it anyway an Make it The American Ambassador dor stood near Stalin He threw NO stones e o Uncommon Sense Conrad Thi- Thi bault tells of the three appeasers who were crossing the Arabian Desert Look said one theres an ostrich with its head in the sand Isn't it a silly bird The ostrich jerked back its beak and intoned When I have my head in the sand I have enough sense to keep my mouth shut Notes o of f an Innocent Bystander Typewriter Ribbons Ribbons- Nicholas Murray Butler Many peoples people's tombstones should read Died at 30 buried at 60 Ambrose Bierces Bierce's definition of ambition An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead Anon Lions of society are tigers for publicity Elsie McCormick People who live in pleasant places always act as if the weather was their own personal achievement Geo B B. B Shaws Shaw's definition of a pessimist pessimist pessimist pessi pessi- mist A man who thinks everybody as nasty as himself and hates them for it Wm Lyon Phelps This is the final test of a gentleman his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him PM He enjoys diving into a good book and pulling puUing a paragraph over his head The Story Tellers The title of ot Nina Wilcox Putnam's Your Life piece is I Was Too Fat to Love That's a variation of the true confession confession confession con con- theme There the confessor is usually too fat headed fatheaded headed Ex- Ex Warden Lawes in Click writes of J. J Weil Well the con man who used to wear a beard to appear dignified and who claimed he could only fleece a person who was crooked in hi his hip heart The grid experts who invade the at this time of the year remind you of most military militar experts Their pieces may make sense but not many make them in interesting teres ing Manhattan Murals The bootblack who massages your shoes with a rag bearin bearing the likeness of Hitler Hiller The sign on the old flivver parked on Avenue Dont laugh this this ones one's paid pa-id for The f downtown luncheonette with the nifty nil nil- ty name The Club Sandwich r The restaurant on Route 22 called Never Inn r f way Byrons Byron's Definition of Carry- Carry j t in n the Torch No When You Throw Your Heart at Her Feet Feet and and I Even Trip Her I I i. i |