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Show MOST COMPETENT CAT By ALEX 8AYRE. Denkins stared malevolontly at th cat. Tho cat merely blinked, yawned, aroso and stretched Itself In an Insultingly In-sultingly careless manner, then gnzod out of tho window, oblivious of Denkins. "If It Is truo that care killed a cat," muttered Denkins, "jhon I say bully for carol" ' By nnturo Denkins was not at all bloodthirsty. He loved his fellow men and had been known to buy candy for babies, but ho hated that cat. It was In tho first place, a tramp cat, tho sort ono would bo ashamed to claim as a member of one's family. No amount of cream and chops ever could havo made It look llko anything clso than a mongrel. Tho family had Intimated In every posslblo way to the cnt thnt Its presenco was undoslr-able, undoslr-able, but tho animal remained oblivious ob-livious to all hints. Donklna was appalled ap-palled to realize tho forco ot Its sheer persistency. "Why, If I had one-tenth tho persistency per-sistency of 'that cat," ho told catlors ono evening, "I should now bo pushing push-ing Plerpont Morgan off tho map or should be president ot tho United States. That cat has simply mndo up Its mind to camp here and nothing can prevent it If wo lock It outdoors It claws open a basement window and If we lock tho basement windows It ascends the woodbine trollls and sits on tho bedroom window ledgo and yowls or else raises the screens and comes In triumphantly. It approves of tho butcher and grocer with whom we trade and nothing elso matters. It Is' truly an awful thing to bo adopted adopt-ed by a cat!" When the Denkins family decided to be "away for some weeks, Mrs. Denkins announced that tho cat must bo killed. She said It waB not human to go away and leave It to starve to death, as It surely would. If neglected. neg-lected. "Starve!" echoed Denkins, scornfully. scorn-fully. "Why, that cat, dropped on a desert Island composed entirely of lava rock and coral reefs and dynamite, dyna-mite, would root out n living for Itself!" It-self!" "I don't care," porslsted his wife. "I wouldn't enjoy a minute of my vacation for thinking nbout the poor thing back hero starving helplessly. You've got to put it out of its misery!" "Very well," agreed Denkins. "And that'll put mo out of mine. I will chloroform It" The next tlmo Denkins had a few moments to Fparo he assembled the wash boiler, a sponge nnd a bottlo of chloroform and hypocritically called: "Kitty, nitty! NIco kitty!" Then when tho nnlmnl wns trustingly within with-in his grasp he deposited It In the boiler with the deadly spongo. To his surprise tho cnt did not stay thero, but came out ns ho withdrew his nrm. Ho barely ciught the escaping nnlmnl nnl-mnl by tho hind paw. It scratched wildly. "Hero!" Bald Denkins severely. "You go back In there ond Btay!" Then Denkins learned something. The cover to a wash boiler Is an Inflexible In-flexible object nnd raising It enough to got his nrm out meant raising all ono side of It. That afforded room for six cats to slip out If necessary. He let his, nrm hang Insldo as ho medltnted upon tho situation and tho cnt scuttled about Indignantly. Finally Final-ly It planted Its claws In Denkins' bnro wrist. Denkins yelled and Jerked out his nrm. Tho cnt came, too, and made a gray streak through tho atmosphere at-mosphere For two weeks after that whenovor Denkins nppeared tho cat nt onco aroso nnd with obvious dlstlko left tho room. Tho speed with which It left depended In Bomo degrees upon tho speed with which Denkins pursued. pur-sued. Usunlly tho chaso ended in tho cat's leaping to the top of tho furnace, whero It was out of reach. Thero Its green eyes shono maliciously as It would sit and wave Its tall and taunt Denkins silently. Ho could think ot nothing elso except ex-cept killing thnt cnt. So when ho walked Into tho living room nnd found tho cnt curled up In a hall asloep In tho very last chair ho gasped with tho suddenness ot tho thought that como to htm. "Kitty," ho said, "it Btrlkes mo that you would Just about fit Into a pall. I'll see." Tiptoeing to tho kitchen, ho got n pall and tho spongo nnd chloroform and with tho spongo Insldo tho pall ho clapped It down over tho cat and sat upon It. It was not n pleasant porformanco, but Donklns was a des-pornto des-pornto man. Finally ho aroso and removing re-moving tho pall, surveyed his work. "Aha," said Donklns, with much satisfaction. Ho removed tho romalna to tho back yard, deposited them In a box, dug a holo and hastily burlod tho cat. Thon In celebration of his victory ho took Mrs. Denkins to tho theater. Scarcely hod thoy retired that night when Mrs. Donklns shrloked: "Look!" sho cried, in a strangled volco. Thero on tho window sill sat tho cat, gazing In reproachfully. "D-d-do cats havo gh-gh-ghosts?" shivered Mrs. Denkins, clutching hor husband. "By Georgo!" said Donklns, stilt staring. "My mlstako was that I neglected neg-lected to nail down tho cover of that boil" "I think," said Mrs. Donklns, wearily, wear-ily, "that you don't noed to botho: about killing that cat aftor all. I unss It can look out for ltsolt when wo go nway." |
