Show BROADWAY AND MAIN STREET the soft softhearted he hearted a arted raier railroad oad Detec detective detects ti ve th thought 0 aught he wa wanted anted coal to take to hit his poor old mother by BILLY ROSE if the man who was yard detective at a the east river tugboat terminal 40 years ago will drop around to my office id like to present him with a pair of down front tickets fg the show playing at my thea theater tei what did tho the yard dick do to rate these front row dubats ducats WU I 1 cant answer that ona one without sketching in a bit of my bumptious background tho ate year Senator tafts taffs pop became president the tha roses were living in a rail road flat on the I 1 lower east side four rooms in a 0 row each with a window that th at leaked cold ell CIP mate our central centgraf heating system consisted of a stove in the kitchen and billy rose nose the cost of ceal being what it was 45 cents a tag bag it was seldom that tho the home tires fire were burning most of the time I 1 went around the house wath a ladys stocking stretched over my ears cars but when it got gat so blustery that even that help I 1 would stick an old flaur bag into rny my pants par is ease my way into the yard backof the tugboat terminal south of manhattan bridge and swipe as much coal as I 1 could carry from the piles used to fire the boilers of the tugs then as now I 1 was built doss close to the ground and fast a all get out so I 1 usually got away clean as a linker clinker from the yard ato an oyster fared faced little man whose who idea of a i good aj tin was to catch two coat coal thieves at once and knock their heads together ono one murderously cold february iuds I 1 was stuffing an old sack with choice chunks of anthracite when when the dick sneaked up and caught me black handed dont ya know what happens to kids who steal 1 he said I 1 could have told him they get warm but decided not to dont tell me let me guess he went on ya got a poor old mother and unless ya bring home some coal shell catch her death of cold howd ya know I 1 sold said 1 I also suppose yer old man worked in six months it aint that long I 1 said but he dont make much even when he does work 01 A dozen times a day I 1 hear the same story said the yard detective III know it like I 1 know my name it suddenly to my unbelief he handed me the bag of coal and walked away dont let me catch ya again he said As I 1 got to the gate he yelled walt wait a minute and scaled a silver dollar in my direction maybe eelpout hel help pout out I 1 picked up the buck bpck floated out of arid and kept floating until I 1 canne ci me to it a vacant lot on livington street where a bunch p of my pals were making a a snow enow afian man did ya get it one of them asked nothing to it I 1 said wf IV sided two lumps for the eyes a largi large chunk for the nose a low few smaller pieces for the mouth and there was enough enough left over for a row of buttons button down the front and a belt bell clear around the middle what did I 1 do dd with the dollar wells well there was a little butle on rivington street who had never given me a tumble and so BO I 1 offered to buy her a hot chocolate at drugstore you mean you got money she said 1 I not only got for hot chocolate I 1 bragged but tor for movies and after may maybe ace cream that would be peachy said the little dou doll pashing gashing the kind of smile chatin that in later years I 1 had bad to give up diamonds to see I 1 I 1 well there it is the nasty little secret ive iveleen been harboring for 40 years I 1 wont go as far as to say its been keeping me awake nights but well id feel a lot better it if the old ya yard detective wire were to pick up tip those ducats dubats |