Show kathleen norris says ha happiness priness won by hard work not luck dell bell syndicate features feature wo I 1 C M dress your part noi expensively but in those slack and blouse effects that make a small woman of 32 look like a nice boy by KATILEEN KATHLEEN NORRIS NORKIS tg T THEN HEN I 1 was 18 1 mar Y ried the boy every v v girl in our town W wanted ant to marry writes catherine van orden froma from a small town near buffalo he was 26 just back from college ri rich ch and handsome girls girl s envied VIC d me and I 1 enjoyed it as I 1 picked my trousseau ind and practiced writing my new name we had a beautiful wedding 13 years ago now we have three children beverly who is 10 tom 7 and shirley 4 for a few years fred and I 1 were idyllically happy it was all paradise we traveled we built a lovely house severe financial losses because of his fathers bad judgment somewhat iome what curtailed our holidays holl dys and the arrival of babies kept me much at home until six years ago however I 1 always had a nurse as well as a cook and although it meant pretty steady work at home for or me too J I 1 knew I 1 was among the lucky women of the world when the th war began fred in entered entered thai tha navy rising to the rank of commander before the war ended my mother came to live with me there bereno were no longer oer servants in th the house eliouse and my life became quieter and more domestic than han ever then fred came came home changed his letters had been all love and iome homesickness sickness he had no na sooner returned than it became evident that ie had lost interest in us entirely I 1 dont say entirely forin tor in certain moods he will question i n the children laugh augh at them perhaps bring them some little toy he has seen on the streets but for me he has only absent minded politeness bored looks long silences wo we do not quarrel as we did when he was a spoiled young society favorite and t a spoiled polled child I 1 wish we could quarrel now at least that is living now it to Is ai as jf if he were not here even when he la Is at home ile he Is silent and moody bloody 1 I arranged a quiet room for him fit at the top of the house to s save ave him the childrens racket lie he occupies it alone ile he hardly listens to break fast table talk and Is rarely at home for or dinner of course you bu will think another woman perhaps there Is one these vampires who go about in society trying to break up homes like ours are plentiful enough but I 1 think it is rather a great weariness fred needs new friends now new audience he needs escape this little town seems bulland du dull lland and confining to him and my mothers talk and mine about the children and the table probably bores him terribly but what can ican I 1 do to win him back ile he want to go places with me want to entertain interested in old friends he lives a life apart from us and it to la all the harder because my mother and I 1 really do da have to work hard to keep this big house and this family of six 81 comfortable it is always a struggle to keep abrea abreast of the childrens claims of school clothes meals manners health activities that my first joba job I 1 cant pack them 01 U off to boarding schools throw mother out buy extravagant clothes and go dancing with fred again 6 a in on the other oth erhand lhand I 1 simply canti cant I wont drift so far away from him that we lose each otherl ho a listens politely to my arguments meAts aw UFA envied e and I 1 enjoyed is 7 A A shrugs goes away I 1 am becoming maddened with nerves and doubts do help me if 11 you caal 0 to this bewildered cryl carl can only say eay what I 1 have said in tills this col as long as you are living freds life catherine you will indeed be maddened with nervel and doubts you are one human being fred ared is another to make your life a mirror of his or a pale copy of histo his to let him know thit that he has the howerto power to render you completely miserable is to io hurt yourself destroy the very thing you are trying to accomplish and moreover do hima him a grave injustice make blake yourself interesting it fair to fred to burden his homecoming after the four terrible years that have demoralized the entire tire world and expect him to fall quietly into line leave fred alone work on your selfo make your nervous dissatisfied unchanged self into something more thrilling try experiments in meals meal sout out in the garden or sandwiches taken to the shore start table games with the children that will absorb them and you and grandma leaving fred to think that he has a mighty pretty gay and self sufficient family and a predty pre tty pleasant home dont give parties but invite an old friend or two to come in uy unexpectedly expectedly now and then dress your part not expensively but in those slack and blouse effects that make a small woman of 32 look me like a ni nice ce boy never question him criticize or complain dont be freds parasite be a person in your own right you had your good times early the spoiled little beauty who made the big match now grow up to yourself in a more sober atmosphere remembering mem bering what lowell said so long ago earth has its price tor for what earth gives us 11 happiness fought tor for and won is better than the merely lucky brand every time |