Show kathleen norris Torris TN says marriage Is the cifes job bell syndicate Ser vict lc 00 A T 41 J we all know young youna couples couple who started a few years ego ago with what an admiring world called everything 11 wealth beauty position power all these them didas save these husbands and wives from ah an early and disgraceful appearance in the divorce court they did have everything except code and character by KATHLEEN NORRIS N THESE troubled times IN when our problems seem to be taking on a national rather than a domestic character it is more necessary than ever for the woman of the house mother wife sister daughter whichever she may be to see that everything at home moves serenely and smoothly that thai home is a refuge for the workers who have to go out into the turmoil and discouragement of a war torn world women are the makers or breakers of marriage they are the builders or the destroyers of home ninety per cent of the success or failure pi of any marriage is due to th the e woman she can turn the most fortunate mating into the least happy or she can pick the ruins of her marital venture from ashes and wreckage and transform them into happiness and security again everything but character we all know young couples who started a few years ago with what an admiring world called everything wealth beauty position an all these save save these husbands and wives from an early appearance in the divorce court and we all know other brides and grooms obscure poor plain inexperienced perien ced we know how radiantly confident they were as they went from the quiet wedding to the t two wo or three small rooms that were home how they irradiated these rooms with love and service how they built about them strong wa walls alls of true married life raised fine children rose in the world added on more glory to the glory of american life in the one case the man may have been spoiled rich lich selfish stupid in the ather he may have been schooled to consideration and generousness but in both cases it was because of what the woman was that the marriage turned out as it did here is a letter from a chicago man that illustrates forcefully the situation in one household in which the wife and mother seems determined to destroy her own life and those of her husband and child an inharmonious household i dear mrs norr norris ls writes don iam head of a shoe department in a large store 38 years old married 14 24 years and with a daughter of nine we live in a comfortable six room apartment own a car and my wife has the afternoon services of a good mald maid some years ago age I 1 purchased a small cabin in the woods on a lake for vacation and weekend week end visits I 1 am a church member and have always tried to be considerate of my wife and generous to her as well as faithful evelyn was an extremely pretty girl she is much overweight now has dyed her hair a bright gold and uses much makeup make mahe up clothes and what her women friends think of lier her clothes are her greatest interest in life but she also likes bridge poker and movies and she spends much time and money on beauty parlors breakfasts dines alone my wife never gets up for breakfast our little girl dresses herself carries mama a glass of orange juice and trots off to school I 1 get orange juice and milk from the ice box bettylou betty lou always has 15 cents for school lunch I 1 lunch downtown and frequently return home at half past five to find that evelyn is still away bettylou betty lou and I 1 do homework read the funnies listen to the radio and at half past six dine alone evelyn may telephone ufah she is not coming or she may come in late to nibble indifferently at her food explaining that they all had perfectly delicious sandwiches at marians Mar lans evelyn does not like the cabin she has been there twice only in the past year it means fire making dishwashing cooking forus au all my little airland girl and I 1 loveit love it but bt rn my wife il dreads reads the effort L last a st summer she took bettylou betty lou for two weeks to a smart beach placed bettylou betty lou with mycother my mother tor for the rest of the vacation and went oft off herself to california with friends has met mei the te other woman the problem is that i I 1 have met the other woman for two years she has been my rest my comfort my com companion panion I 1 want to make her my wife she is associated with me in the office a a widow of 27 no child no family other than a sister she is lovely gentle domestic lonely and god knows I 1 am lonely I 1 last summer ann her sister and I 1 often went to the cabin for hours of such perfect felicity as I 1 suppose few men ever know we think alike feel alike we n need eed no other i happiness than that of being together but evelyn assures me that it if there is ever a divorce she will wila demand an alimony so great that I 1 simply could not fiot pay it out of my salary of h a month she will ask for half and support of bettylou betty lou as wen well ann and I 1 might indeed exist on what was left but with my insurance to pay and the taxes on my mothers little house our income would not be more mare than 1000 a year the child she would so love to have would hardly bardl Y be welcome on feels trapped helpless 1 I feel trapped maddened my marriage has not been a marriage e for many years evelyn knows that she actual actually lk dislikes me she gives no nothing think takes everything in the beginning I 1 friedhard tried hard for success east gave her everything I 1 could her bills have now plunged me more than 2000 into debt she says she adores our child neglects herb her for days at a time then buys her new frocks and candland cand candy yand and spoils her for a day or two the atmosphere of my home is unbearable and yet should I 1 force a divorce I 1 am ruined I 1 have nothing to offer ann and the world will blame me fr for deserting it diat h at sweet little woman and that lovely child Is this a deadlock what can I 1 do time may offer a solution my answerus answer is it is a deadlock and you must grin and bear it don there any way out at the moment should evelyn fall in love with some other man and ask a divorce that might be different console yourself that half the lives now being lived ap america have known insufferable conditions like yours insufferable boredom physical disability restlessness poverty we all get a turn at every one of them to love desperately and desperately desire to fling aside all the ties odthe of the past put you in a category all by yourself enjoy your friendship with ann as muc much h asin as in honor you may revel in your small girls affection and companionship ion ship and give patience and time a chance |