Show what S cobb s thinks about abou t rivals for nudism ANTA MONICA CALIF S 0 I 1 took part in a parade celebrating old days in california riding in an ancient open carriage with our post j ii master here he calls jim r parley arley jim and our congressman who like practically all democrats in good standing inthe in the southern part of the state craves to be the th e next nominee for governor it if any more aspirants bob up there wont be anybody left to vote tor for them this ibis certainly has been a banner year for or anges and candidates dour outfit got abot a lot of cheers from the tha crowds and a perfect ovation when passing a div given en point where aher the he elks also were giving away beer all three ofus 0 us felt pret irvin iraln 8 cobb ty proud of our selves until we realized that probably the applause meant for or us there must have been thou aids in that crowd never before ore seen a horse drawn pleasure vehicle it if lady godiva dressed only ir in her ber long hair rode on a white horse hors through aej anny modern city street probably be ten who d hur rah for tho the horse against one who loo looked keda a second time at the lady sight of a white horse would be a treat to one and all whereas in these days of nudism and public undressing on the beaches but that willbo will bo about all for that 0 0 international messes WITH tho the great powers tottering T V T on the brink of hostilities to a moro more tottery extent than usual with the spaniards still willing to fight to the last italian from brother loan loaff collection with china battered to a bloody hash meat in what would closely resemble a war it only japan had so declared it which must indeed be gratifying to the ghosts of tho the thousands already slain and tho the homeless refugees u ces from ruined cities this teems a mighty good time tor for us to keep our shirt on ti kindly recall that other historic ll 11 occasion to hop into a mesi mess cooked up by foreign nations and as a result not biot only lost his shirt but has never since been able to collect the laundry bills for or washing the said this it if you got get the drift to Is a subtle reference to those defaulted european debts let us ug therefore highly resolve that mai no no matter how great the pros pres ture our from within or without mainly be as was the case before from With outwell keep the old shirt on classifying bores IVE been classifying bores class B bores are those still using the tha lapel clutch or buttonhole grapple whereas a class A bore Is one whose boast Is that lie ho never lays a finger on you just lust holds tho the victim by psychic power lately ive met what I 1 should call a super A type the same sama being a gentleman who in addition to haying perfect technique otherwise had been imbibing garlic to excess and care who knew it when finally rescued they had to use a on me meeting this champion te minded wo me of what I 1 heard the late wilson minzer say to a gentleman who ho in m isted on boring wilson while suffused with the afterglow brought on by combining bourbon whisky and bermuda onions in his diet ills hiccoughs boughs coughs were not only frequent wf but had echoes to them finally when wilson was practically ready for artificial respiration to bo be applied he said dear sir your breath would start the windmills turning in an old dutch painting pai nUng I 1 0 typical texans USED to think a typical texan I 1 was one who said he was going to send you a ten gallon hat and then do doal it but lie he Is a sub tp cles A really orthodox texan tells you hes giving you a pair of genuine texas steer hortis horns be along as soon as lie he can an have them shipped duthe out he never ships em what makes him typical so many typical texans have volunteered ered to send me sets of long horns horm that it if all those parties were laid end to end have one of ahn etnest consecutive strings of born liars ver ever seen but they stay that way rise right up tip and start looking tor for easterners to promise long horns to not that im craving any long horns borns they stretch so tar far from up tip to tip they make you think of a muskellunge fisherman trying to show how you how much that biggest onam ono measured ensured it if you hang them low they prong people in the eye if you 1 hang 1 ang them high chiefly useful I 1 for cobwebs to draft on in and no self respecting w wife ife wl wil ct t you ban hang thorn them anywhere IRVIN S COBB 0 welt ser serried vied |