Show what b co s thial s about species of candidates MONICA CALIF S it takes all kinds of candidates to make up this world maybe why the world seems so BO overcrowded theres the candidate who belongs to all the secret orders order it if he left off his emblems hed catch cold knows every grand haung halling sign there li is missed a lodge brothers funeral in years can hardly wait for the next one to die no campaign complete without him candidate specializing in the hearty handshake the neck irvin B S cobb embrace the der slap the bear hug the gift of remembering every voter by his first name and the affectionate inquiry regarding the wife and kiddies kidd les when he kisses a baby it sounds like somebody taking oft off a pair of wet overshoes usually has a er or wife needing a new hat candidate chos constantly leading an imaginary parade of faithful followers loves to poke his chest away out ad then follows it majestically down the street A common or standardized species biblical wisdom N THE book of nahum chapter 1 IN 11 II 1 I came upon this verse the rage in the streets they shall jostle one against another in the broad ways they shall seem like torches they shall run like the those old testament prophets certainly peered a long way into the future because I 1 traveled by night through a main thoroughfare leading from los angeles to the sea and vice versa and I 1 knew what nahum was describing but not even an seer of the bible could imagine a record of traffic mortality so ghastly as the one weve already compiled in this year of grace 1937 A D automo bile destruction or a people so speed mad 6 how to fight laps japs we have a japanese wanese WHENEVER war scare I 1 think of uncle cleLum Un lurn dittmore WItt temore more back IP in west kentucky who 10 lo at dispense pease wisdom as he hitched one practiced instep on a brass rail and with his free hand fought the resident flies files tor for the tidbit of tree free lunch which he held in his grip one day a fellow asked uncle lum who had served gallantly in the southern Confide confederacy racy until a very hard rainstorm came up what hed do tt if the yellow peril boys invaded america Amerl cai id hunt me a hollow tree in t the he deep woods he said yes son the owls would have to fetch me my mall mail I 1 been up on them japs fatalists Wi a fatalist demanded N someone near ez I 1 kin make out stated the veteran a fatalist Is a party th that at thinks youre doln doin him a deep deeb puss onal favor when you kill him 4 4 hollywood fashions envious style expert says U hollywood fashions are ire too garish it if lies hes talking about hollywood males I 1 say just garish enough it if they were any more garish than they are visitors would have to wear blinders and it if they were any less garish italian sunsets would stand a chance in the competition and I 1 want the championship to stay in america billy gaxton picks out something suitable for a vest to be worn wom to a fancy dress party and then has a whole suit made out of it bob ties alethe are the kind that abuy I 1 buy in moments of weakness and then keep in a bureau drawer because im not so brave as bob is and also aiso I 1 keep tho the drawer closed because I 1 cant stand those sudden dazzling glares and bing crosby is either color blind or thinks everybody else is but his crooning cro oking is if mighty soothing and so it joes goes red pink green purple orange sky blue and here and there a dash of lavender our local boys gladden the landscape with the sort of clothes id wear too only my wife wont let lei me stop atop look listene our sartorial motto and these lealou designers back east cast can kindly gc jump in a dye pot IRVIN S COBB 0 service |