Show 0 M HOW COULD UL D 0 e MARY FIND 0 0 0 A WAY OUT 01 0 0 I 1 0 0 by FANNIE HURST M RI 1931 mcclure newspaper service 1111 conditions that brought jiin T about the engagement of mary estes to benjamin parke were I 1 the normal unexciting ones of a certain degree of propinquity similarity of social standing and a general eral desirability smiled upon by families of both parties c concerned ned in the thriving middle west cesi t city where mary estas ectlis had been born and reared benjamin parke was regarded as one of the most promising young business men of the community when mary estes was still attending high school and taking the commercial course course which was ultimately to prepare her for her work as aa secretary to the richest banker of the town the estes people were a highly respectable and conservative family in reduced finances probably a shade or two higher in the social strata than the parke family although benjamins father was a dentist of solid standing and good bood practice the two wo young people of these respective spec tive and respectable families in spite of the disparity of ten years in their ages were thrown socially together by way of church entertainment and bridge party their ultimate engagement was as normal as aa sunrise A little hurry flurry of anticipatory gossip had of course preceded it its announcement was a matter of local applause its consummation looked forward to by a group of friends and relatives who moved interestedly around the nucleus of the happy pair it was wag fun to be engaged it was great greak fun to be the center of interest the center of pleasant attention and consideration of the group of people that made up marys world the slightly envious attention of her friends who were not yet engaged the sisterly acceptance of her as one of themselves by the girls who were engaged the tolerant interest in her by those of her friends who were newly married and the affectionate ti busted busied attention from the older women women matrons matrona mat rons spinsters spin and widows alike all of marys world paid her the charming tribute that la Is the lot of happy young soung love and she found this tribute most flattering most attractive I 1 two months after the announcement of the engagement mary estes resigned her pleasant and lucrative position as secretary to the richest man in town and began preparations for a june wedding benjamin parke by then sole proprietor of a small but flourishing furniture store on high street was known to be in the market for an attractive building lot on kay street one of the towns pretty bungalow districts the friends of mary began to plan linen showers and small festivities that had to do with the approaching marriage benjamin par parke ke took out EL a tidy life insurance policy find and announced that he was building an ell to ills his furniture store it was an alliance that promised promise well mary alary and benjamin would be a good substantial addition to the citizenry of the community were the kind to foster stability decency and right living there was not nothing hInig in particular about the engagement of tills this young pair to differentiate it from alliances that were constantly being made and yet it Is possible that mary and ben represented what in the eyes of the community might be regarded as the ideal marriage the ideal marriage that would lead to years of har happiness mIness of struggle of accomplishments mistakes of course but on the whole the usual happy and successful life in which hardships and pleasures tt ore e mingled that was wag what made the condition so harrowing so terrible so secretly frightening frighten ang to mary estes when certain menacing facts began to take on a reality she had been struggling against ever since the first few weeks following her engagement everything was right everything was as lt should be A better steadier adler more considerate boy than benj benjamin amin parke could not be imagined 11 her er parents were happy his parents were we re happy and with a bungalow on kay street an old dream of her was about to come true As mary confided to her best chum alice mcmahon lahon a pretty doll with china blue eyes it was a storybook story book engagement in its total desirability from every tingle angle all except one and that one angle mary did not begin to admit even to herself until weeks after the announcement no of her engagement mary was not in love with benjamin parke strange how clear the matter ultimately became to her not until after a long period of self hyp did mary come to realize that from the very beginning she had thrown bersel consciously into a state of mind about ben she had talked herself into a condl condition tion of seeming to be in love with him the wish father to the thought she had deliberately tried to force herself into a state of mind the engagement to den ben had been the result it had seemed to her during those months while the th facts of her self hypnosis still lasted that she eha had accomplished right and righteousness and then gradually and a little J horribly it began to dawn upon her during those festive weeks of linen showers bridge parties evenings with ben over blue prints of their new bungalow that everything she ehe was wa tasting was dead sea fruit to in the dead of night mary would waked wake up with a sense of oppression in her breast with a dread of tomorrow with terror of what she was doing mary did not love ben she liked him she respected him she even admired him the thought of him as her husband filled her with dread sometimes it seemed to mary that to be free fice once more to be ba free to come and go at her secretarial work to be the girl once more unhampered and unimpeded by the dread of marriage was the one state of being that mattered over and above anything that had ever happened she regarded those of her girl friends who were still outside the pale of matrimony and still unhampered by ties of engagement ga with an envy that was as illogical as it was unlike her mary had only one desire in life now to be free to be unengaged engaged un to see her life stretch cli before her once mole more filled with the old ideal of some day meeting the ultimate life companion to be engaged unengaged un was out of the question ben took her so for granted her parents were in their seventh heaven of approval ills his parents made no effort to conceal their pride the community smiled mary was committed terror rebellion agony panic rose within her only to be hidden by the calm demure exterior she showed to the world the day of her wedding approached and it seemed to mary that with it there descended upon her a dread of living that must ultimately annihilate her she knew that she ehe must not go through with this dishonest thing of marrying benjamin parke and yet what way out what way out tho the question beat about in marys tortured brain like aI a great imprisoned moth what way out she turned the question over and over in her hot tired brain what could she do now how could she find a way out what did other girls in the same predicament do for surely other girls had made her tails mis take though they could marry a man and then suddenly oi or gradually realized that lack of love would make marriage intolerable but there was nothing to do she do the only thing possible tell benjamin that she love him it would seem beem such a simple thing yet it was fraught with all sorts of impossible complications it would mean bringing hurt unhappiness to her parents and his parents she herself would feel eel that she had failed to her family to his family to benjamin and to her own word there seemed to mary something dishonorable in breaking her engagement so what way out was there for her the way out came in the form of a brief note delivered to her one morning two weeks before her wedding day it read dear mary since there Is no way of telling you without hurting you the cruel thing which I 1 am about to say I 1 shall say it in the shortest way possible alice mcmahan and I 1 were married at ten this morning signed ben |