| Show W AN L ff hufft A 4 CHAPTER XII continued 11 the do desire s ire to wound him film filled tier her with a bu burning aning fever ever at least then lio lie would not be able to go for weeks witt 0 ut tier lier lie would think ot of he hr r ills ila attention liia ills desire cestr e would lie b e tiers liera for till nil intolerable intolerably e moment she yielded to the pain of tills this desire then rose arup wrapped ped her faded cotton kimono over tier her bathing suit arid and turned to face loring kor for a moment ment she was struck with a bright memory ills composure ills self as aur aurance atice were broken by tile the ot of some powerful emotion she was a girl again tit at her mothers running up the front steps lie stood at the top in her way looting looking nt at tier lier eagerly tits face so 0 o alive disturbing they at each other oilier hamem boring caught arid field together hut but ernestine thrust this clamoring thought away from tier her this mill ann was linns husban husband d tills was jonathan son soll tier her rattlers son in law art and adviser ile he was as one of tier her own people you been kill kind to will tiny any of you yet slin she trying to tiring bring tile lie talk hack back to commonplace ile iio accepted our kindness loring an slowly jt it only that lies proud sald said ernestine iaea illes vain as well lies different iles entitled to ills vanity at tiny asked loring in a low voice 1 I think there are men 46 would consider pride too done for your Erne stInes thoughts thou glita were in confusion words worda caime liick back to lier her nothing but poverty all anil child bearing and distress ill stross oli she lind lind had nidre titan than that from will silo luxl hit had life I 1 but was there taba to ha for tier lier tio no perman erit t pence arid and security with will she bho doubted it arid and tills this doubt illis has my whole in concerning will vill baeli false Is tile tha fam ilys judgment of hanl correct arid my own mistaken they think him erratic trivial unsteady it fall fail ure urea O baja Heaven help ruo nio she turned away from loring and took tile the patti up through tile the bulbs town toward td tho the lawn about the house she to ret get away from the tears the fearful doublas tier lier A notor dmd been humming along old inke rond road as she sha from the wattrus idge edge and now abruptly the car aar had entered tile the inlet road kroml and befaro tho house at tills slin be bennino catine coll cou of it andeits arrival the air mas still filled fil ledwith with tho grinding of brakes while the doors door or tile atie car spilled open arid it disgorged dis gorged threet of four well men who w were cor carrying others one of the two men lifted from tile the car wits either cither deitler lying dying torn far a than bright stream manfrom ran from laid him on the grass eresa i bright red dripped from tile the running boaro board tile tho ot other herman nian car odors two tied their coats t cla il flake a stretcher for tile lifted out A shout brought ia frani the house the appeared on the run cruft the whole household was instantly concentrated with skilled practiced leed ellic lenc Y so aulet so 0 quick that Tri estille was still gaping it was till nil tali ell the imae huse was running furiously across alia lawn ulle ulie rug was brought brou glit from tile noor floor of 0 the car and thrown into the lake with rocks on oil top toll of it tile gardener put tile hose inside the car rind washed tile tha floor door arid the running board another came from tile the garage with a different car rug with it a different Ile gilso pinto which lie changed in ill a ino moment ment und lied tire tho driver of the cur car moved it up tit it n little ilo so that tile grayel gravel could bo be picked up in it 11 shovel arid curried carried and thrown into the inke tile tho fresh spot raked together now old r alast Itt aitio tin an ancient dunio daino who spoke not it a word ot of english camo came from the porch lier er liend head wrapped in ft shawl anti anil got into the car and sat jy by the window NIti dow tier her thick jo hand resting on the edgo edge ot or the glass the car turned about and with a different dllY driver moved sedately eoila tely back along the take lake road whence it t hail had olno come as innocent ap p peurlie e taj a vehicle its as ever rode tire the ailway lil way no on ono had aind noticed tier lier thereat the end crid of the flikke valk anions the caro care full fully cut shrubs 1 ru estine back arid earrie to tile the little summer house and sut sat down tit in it for her limbs would curry carry tier her no farther fart lier the dreadful of the pas tanos had all this atline increased lier her wrath wl t h will site she could nt not bear it for him to be in a daze 10 lo fo go about with tho the air al which auld exasperated an tile the night blatti e wits born helpless hopeless and confused site she stand the thought that lie W was as a failure while these foreigners we wae re thick with success had power p over ile he loved money monet ile he ha had it ard arid generous willi it IN wanted tt it to show ahod ite ile loved id veil to empty his pockets where lie he might refill them and till all summer slie site lind compared this mens ans magic gle with wills tumbling fumbling deliberately she had shut her ears eara against stories of toul corruption against tales ot of Kratt graft anti and bribery of ruby castano who WM generous with policemen growing strong and well again with the ch children I 1 blooming under the bene benevolence benevolent volen of this man kindness had find been more acceptable to her than the kindness of her ter own people because h ho a was wills friend and they were not she he bad been influenced by B y margaret weymouth jackson 0 by bobbt morrill co service to vexation beyond measure that pas should be so capable and will so go futile now tier lier tears fell from tier her eyes in great ding drops what was she ernestine briceland doing in this bund blind of cutthroats cut throats und lind thieves all of stuby Pa castanos Iastan stanos oa efficiency fi fici ency was to tier her nothing now but filthy rugs rags all tier her relationship with him arid and his family from the beginning had been built on ing they were too far apart not even affection and liking not even respect could bridge the alie gup gap the difference in ideals in standards in purposes this generous gene roua unscrupulous man bringing the vic victims tinis of rapine so BO unfalteringly into the heart of tits own homo home was wills friend not tiers hers she had nothing in ili common with these people nod and ellie would mould never have and she had shut the door of tier heart against tier lier own flesh arid and blood beci juse of wills pride and had and opened it to cheso these silo choked tind rind tier her throat turned bitter with gall tit nt them abruptly site she wits was conscious of an up tip surging of patriotism tier her own people lier her own hindi americans strong decent successful ardent all and clean kind kind incapable of murder anti and plotting these foreigners looked upon them till nil us its fat gee geese s fa I 1 to 0 1 bo 0 aluch plucked ed and did riot not understand the courage the cleanness the strength of kInd kindliness liess site she hated etheln with a furious hatred the compulsion to be rid of of till nil or of them and will at as well came upon tier lier slie site was its crying terribly silo ran back down domi tile beach path putli arid and camo came to loring playing tit in the water cater with erianne anil and peter get tile bont boat she elite said sobbingly angly 1 I will go witt with you 0 it was wonderful to relax in jie comfort anti and security of home again tile alie children went off on happily with old annie who had biad cared for lillian and Crile when they were small and who had always stayed with mamma a privileged member of the household lillian scarcely left Erne stines side a moment papa planned softly about going into chicago Clil cago in tho the morning to set through to ft a tile the details of tile the funds tor for tits hs two girls laring kept ills distance reading and smoking by the table at the far end ft tho ho long porch Em amestine estIne was almost asleep Oti leep relaxed and comfortable in tier lier body for tile the first time in ili ninny many weeks and silo sho wits was almost inattentive to papan voice going gantly on oil with plans 1 I will deed the sheridan Slier idan rond road house over to you jig mamma and I 1 will be in new Y york ork most of tho alie time but who alien w we tire in chicago wo WB will ft sany there wit with hyou you loring lorang told us that you would houi conio come back sooner if I 1 withheld your settlement something clicked in Erne stInes mind it a small sound bound as though a lock iad had been unbolted but title slip went on to bleep bleed calmly enough carrying down with tier into unco unconsciousness 11 tier her trouble und and tier her pain loring said slip she would come back papa find been so to obey tier her wish about riot not having lice her money because loring said sho she would come back the sooner site slept deeply till all through tile the long event CM rigi nil all through the night it wits was tile the first clear flush of dawn c abruptly the car had entered the inlet road when she awoke sat up under tile the light cover that mamma had thrown over her there tin in tile the porch swing and looked out across the water site she awoke with a conviction site she could not do tills this silo she could riot not leave ionic will it was impossible by what route slie site hall had come to this conclusion she could not ha vetold hut but in tier her steep sleep tier her true nature had ns sorted itself and tier her mind was fixed she had find done clone what slie site had find resolved never 1 t to 0 do she had denied tier her marr arlage fe 9 e oil oh not I 1 not my true self not heartsill he heart artill she whispered 1 I never did deny will nor my lily anve ill go back today to be his irp ire fur for no 00 matter 1 what femc wc ii ate she felt calm cairn and strong now and could look with impersonal impel bonal horror upon tier her defection in the clear light of morning tilled filled as she was with the conviction that she must for or ever choose will agal rist all tire the world fur liter understanding rame came to tier her all these months that sho she had been hating will and loving him and reviling him and saying such cruel filings lings ti it had been a deep unknown desire for or her mothers home which goaded her it had been rebellion against the ohp continued humiliation of poverty and disappoint disappointment me n t that their hopes and plans had riot not matured tills this time into success all tier lier mental processes seemed loose tied open now from some canny instinct sho she was presented with will a new enlightenment slie site was site had been worse than the gamme women site blip ind fiat been for months under tinder the domination of a bitter jealousy of lila ills work she had been wounded because ills his activity was secret from her slie she lind had loathed lont lied tile the mistress mi stross that ile he followed itts his own career so wanting him to succeed air and to earn money slie she lind had riot not wanted him film possessed with the preoccupation of such processes silo had seen in ills his gaze gae t that t inward abl ill adoration which Is moro more obnoxious noxious to a won lonians womans ians greedy pride than another womans wo comans mans lure can call ever lie hl that love loe for what lie ho was doing that excluded e interest est in ills own mind all tier bior own mind clear tit at last ladt in ili tile limpid humility born of li iiii ii fil folh fillici lieI d will in intention jf if riot not in con elusive nt act site she could reach a 11 place on which to plant tier her feet for ever eer as far us lie he arid and slie site were concerned conce ined what have I 1 to do with ills work the answer to this question in the clear bogic of tier her mind released tier her for ever from the petty jealousies of the ar artists lists wife tilt answer was she lind had nothing to do with ills work at all it was tits ills own and sho she must know it the old unit unity she lind wanted to preserve wits waa possible only as a kind of over unity not going into det details alls it was the ground on which love placed its feet the sky above loves loes trend head but not the secret of 0 f the habitations of the lie could not bear a child for tier her though lila ills love conceived it arid and wits was 11 not at the business of bringing forth something new and bright even if tit it were but a comic strip for the flatly dally ni as secret and silent a process as that eliat in which site she wits was now again engaged they nil all knew shia she was to beat another child but no one intruded upon tier her privacy save by the most discreet and apologetic kindness and might riot not the creative processes of artistry be as secret as involuntary tary slie she had been resentful resent jul ns as petty men were sometimes resentful of a worn wom anns ans preoccupation arid and dl distress itress in maternity tern ity will had been natural with tier her casual and kind hind rind and site could accord him the same courtesy couite sy slie she wept afresh but dot cot the alio dreadful die adful scalding tears of tile the day before these were unselfish fisli thanking tears distilled from a heart grown calm calin and good again 0 god kielp me to be a good wife help tile me to be a good wife to will 0 lot od help me to understand liliu him to grow glow and change when life demands demand it of trip me help tile mo to be a good wife site sho went to tile desk in tile the corner arid and wrote a telegram 1 I liao have left Plis tallos anti and am at mammas ins cottage with the children please come and get us its today kines ernes title tine slie site wakened old annie pae gave tier lier monny and sent tier lier over to the hotel with the tit message they had bad a toil long talk on the bench that afternoon ernestine told will ev everything ery thing all that sho she hail had thought and felt all tha lt t had happened the lay day before lorings Lorl nga talk with tier her the murder car at Ia Pa stanos tier lier revulsion of feeling liow how she had come home and aim ilow how in the night while sue site slept everything everi thing had straightened out for her will lay beside tier her in silence her hand in ills his arid and again and airala as aa she talked her fingers were pressed against ills his lips they were back agn again magin in the cradle of 0 love rocked in magic ic which glitch overcame all difficulties and heated alt all misunderstandings ile he told tier then about himself and about what he had find been through gli ivo ive made ten or eleven different developments of pooles cartoon altering them all and ive made each one up lip for about six sit weeks and planned the continuity out beyond that time lut but I 1 cant sell them when I 1 sat dunin down to write to you what wai there to say I 1 would resolve to try again hoping to have some wonderful news for you ou lo ive 10 not been eating or sleeping I 1 you so and I 1 repented 8 so 0 11 my 1 y selfishness with you and my a toward your family ive not been reasonable or fair or generous I 1 felt that you were slipping away from me because I 1 hold you because I 1 rate you ou these pictures moved ernestine profoundly fo weeks of work arid and nothing sold the ilia fear of losing her and the children and tire the acea need to at tile thing lie he wits was trying to do until he be ild did it she could feel in ili him lalni a sharp pain of restlessness arid and discouragement inc 1 I I 1 t arid and tier her love poured out on him film darling it nutter matter I 1 can stay |
