Show t g r W 06 00 O f do Forgot the Wrong Wrong Thing o o. o w v v t g oo o a It wasn't my fault that I was an inveterate inveterate inveterate erate dreamer There was a tradition on my mothers mother's side that a great ancestor had walked the porch railing in his sleep while my father rather declared that he was descended descended descended de de- from front a professional I had tried all remedies within the range of common sanse but without avail My 1 I nights continued to be one uninterrupted P Punch Judy show from the first snore till the cock crew I was advised by one old lady to lie on my right side and so I did and dreamed all night of having my molars pulled with my feet tied down do and my voice gone Well YOU you must be different from other oth oth- er people she surmised try your left Consequently I tried that which in induced induced induced in- in the pleasant sensation of flounder- flounder in ine inz around in mid I even went without my evening meal to see if the trouble was caused by by overeating Shades I conversed with a man that night nie-ht at whose funeral I had been a pallbearer pallbearer pallbearer pall pall- bearer two years before re I was married Its Ies no use Marian I cried to my sympathetic wife if I slept without my head it would be all the same Id I'd dream with my mv feet I had hadi i t friend a young voting fellow just out of e. coHee-e. who had come out vest west to tomake nuke make his f fortune He Fe was too b bashful to make lake much headway with wito the young ladies lades of Ins his acquaintance but it was evident before lon lono that there was one who had secured a strong hold on his affections af af- 4 It was his misfortune to fall victim to tomy tomy tomy my nightly wanderings and I dreamed that he had suddenly taken a bold stroke overcome all parental opposition and eloped with his lady love The delusion delusion delusion delu delu- sion sion was so real that it stayed with me all the next day Several times I found myself wondering where Benton had found the courage to take such a step and whether everything would eventually be smoothed over Between that day and the next ime that I saw Benton a week later I had completely completely completely com com- forgotten forgotten oh oh no not the dream but the the- fact that it was a dream He Ie dropped into the office one morning and sat down by the desk Well iV ell Frederick old boy I cri cried how goes goes domestic life A whole hole lot better better than boardinghouse boardinghouse boardinghouse boarding- boarding house I 1 tell you t that at First time Ive I've had a good m meal al since I c came came out here her Good cook then n is sl she e I 1 queried Well r ell I guess yes She's cooked too many years not to know how I was a little taken back at this homely rep remark b hut but t I thought best nest not to say anything le lest t I should offend him hin Then there followed an art an awkward silence while Benton puffed away at his cigar and I wondered at the coolness and unconcern unconcern of a groom of one week Rather sudden wasn't it I finally ventured say anything to your old friends a about bout it He looked at me a little surprised Yes it was unexpected but I thought I said something to you about it last week Not a w ward word rd I replied quickly glad to have have aroused a little animation in my friend And then I waited for further explanation but none came Finally Fred got up tip toss tossed d his cigar stump out the window and started lazily for the door Well he lie said got to be going they have a ve changed hours on me no now noat at the theoffice theoffice theoffice office and I have to be there by 9 instead of ten So long Good day but say Fred bring her herup herup herup up some night this week My l wife willbe will willbe willbe be anxious to meet her All All right I will he called back and started down the street Strange thought I as I watched him out the door When I was first married my friend got so tired of hearing about her that it got to be a standing joke Marian MarianI I said that night I saw Fred Benton today just got married you know knowN know know- No N o Why when did that happen she exclaimed Oh about a week a ac o. o Married that Miss Douglas on the sly too Well of all things and here here here-he he said not a month ago that he was firmly re resolved resolved resolved re- re solved never to marry until he had plenty of money I do dont don't t know what wade made him change his mind but he did and he promised l to to bring Brine her up ip this week some sometime time You lou had bad better call up some of his friend I and those thos Stewarts that Miss Douglas knew so well J Well We'll Tell have them come to din din- ner And so it was arranged I telephoned to Fred next day Can you bring bring- Mrs Benton up next Wednesday and the answer came Yes Wednesday evening arrived and the Stewarts arrived and the friends arrived but as asyet yet Fred and his wife had not ap ap- My l wife was giving orders to the servant and overseeing the dinner when a carriage carnage drove up to 0 the gate Fred got out and assisted a rather invalid looking lady to alight They came up the path but we couldn't see very well for it was dusk and the lady had on a heavy veil I wonder my boy I thought to myself myself myself my my- self if you yon arent aren't rather sorry for your rash step but I was interrupted for in into into into in- in to the the room walked walked walked-an an old ola gray h haired gray ired lady My l mother Mr Perry Your mother I I gasped and then quick as a flash that miserable dream came to me Of course it was a terrible humiliation to acknowledge my mistake before the whole company but the dinner tasted just the same and Freds Fred's mother who had just come from the east to o keep house for her son SOIl thought it a huge joke Youve You've heard of Mrs l McCarthys McCarthy's pie s sAnd And Mr Finnigan's goat r But funnier than the tw two combined Will Till be The Last Coat 4 I |