Show HOME IOME HAPPENINGS Hardscrabble's poems are not inspirations but expirations r H-r-b t r t r-t H rapturously as he handed a young lady his pocket-knife pocket II Oh Oh it is very sharp why I was cutting cutting cut cut- 1 ting my wisdom teeth on on it yesterday A penny donation box has been put in the main hall Did you read about it in the editorials We are arB now anxiously anxiously anxiously awaiting an opposition movement from the stud students student's nt's body Prof Kingsbury delivered a very a interesting lecture to the class in General Chemistry last Thursday in which he showed how chemistry can be applied to culinary affairs with beneficial resul results ts 1 Miss Florence Brown a last year j Normal graduate was frozen out and 1 has come home from Richfield to spend a pleasant time until the weather permits her to return to to her school again There was a timid rap on the door of our sanctum With a hasty exclamation the fiend threw down his blue pencil and opened the door There stood two of ot our most vivacious girls and they announced their reason for the intrusion in such a winsome manner that the fiends fiend's face relaxed into a seductive smile This expanded into a grin as he took a bit of paper from one of the girls and advanced to the window in order to better peruse the same The paper was cov covered red with those hieroglyphics com corn commonly commonly called short short hand It was wa's a brief love-letter love teeming with passionate F utterances and had been brought to the fiend for translation With an ambiguous smile he quietly handed hack back the letter and said that he was unable to tomake tomake make it out Just like a fiend 1 i L' L I Why do poets always grow long longhair longhair longhair hair F So So people wont won't know how small their heads are t Where did the above come from My I dear fellow dont don't you know that there I is but one place in all this orld s orld that i such an enigma could issue from Bah Bahl Go Goto to From his royal eminence Sir Esq a It is rumored that the is r trying to arrange a debate with another society on one of the following subjects subjects subjects sub sub- 1 Resolved that the Faculty should compel our students to take the CHRONICLE 2 Resolved that George Eliot had hada a beard r E 3 H. Resolved that the art of sock- sock mending is of greater importance to the world than that of sewing on buttons Last Sunday Prest President d ent Kingsbury w commenced a visiting tour of the Western West West- ern universities He intends to inspect the methods of of work pursued in other schools paying special attention to the departments in Biology and Chemistry He also intends to be present at the College Presidents' Presidents Convention at Chat Chat- He made a parting request that the Juniors and Seniors do their heir utmost to ma make e the Washington Birthday Birthday Birthday Birth Birth- day celebration in ever every way successful PROGRAM CLASS 98 Class Song Class Principles of Psychology Miss La Von Pierce Violin Solo Mr Walter Coleman Recitation Miss Inez Peak Piano Duet Miss Eloise and Miss Ethel Lane Talk Mr B. B N. N Mathews Quartette Class Poem Miss Myra Piano Solo Miss Ethel Lane Normal Miss Lenore T. T S. S Ashworth Quartette J R R. W. W Patrick W. W iThe The Training Class By Eleven Members embers of Class ti c Mr H. H C. C L L is a martyr or that thatis is he would be if we would let him I He came down last week and begged us to write our mean locals on him instead of Prof C C We will try our best to oblige him in the future Prof Whiting Jr is a genius enius For years when unable to get enough copy even by using ups pick-ups the fiends have i 2 been accustomed to visit a class of Prof Whitings Whiting's and have invariably left with enough jokes to fill a whole issue With regrets we have realized that he is J not immortal and have wondered how the CHRONICLE could exist without him But now comes an heir fully capable of filling his fathers father's shoes One of his like j jokes ran like this Mamma Why dont don't papa go to kindergarten like you Lorenzo Cause hes he's too stupid Truly Lorenzo is a chip of the old block and we weare are thinking of detailing h V fa faan y an editor to keep tab on his doings l Realizing that there is at present a great dearth of poets in the school we have obtained the following process for forthe forthe the production of poetry from Hardscrabble Hardscrabble Hard- Hard 4 scrabble 1 Hang yourself up by the foot for forthe forthe or the purpose of collecting your brain in inthe inthe the right place l 2 Read the works of all great poets that ever lived to get a few ideas into your head 3 Get out and lie down in the cold coldsnow coldsnow snow for three hours to congeal said ideas 4 Come in the house tie a lump of ice on your heart and place your feet in a tub of cold water Then commence commence com com- J mence writing In case this method fails repeat each night until a poem is 3 produced 1 Shall the CHRONICLE editor run the n paper to suit himself or to suit the instructors If to suit the instructors i which ones and if certain ones how i Lv i can he bring into coincidence dence the right articles of the paper with the proper moods of the instructors It has been suggested that we assign to each in instructor instructor instructor in- in a particular sedi section on of the paper with the condition that only the assignee be allowed to read it and he only when in the frame of mind specified specified specified fied by hy the writer For the benefit of the instructors Dean Howells S. S Weir Mitchell James Lane Allen Blackmore A etc etc etc and others will be ene engaged engaged en en- for the next issue e next 1 |