| Show C a y f I f z n fI Oi hilt r 51 1 THE NEW NEV NE v PROCESS JJ t L 1414 I t i y ti P boa tr Aft tt r r Pr aDay in itt a Dentists Dentist's Office with University Students t I I v It ju d l j SY 0 is j iI it s i 1 I I i. i H t I T f nl d. d r fd II All the worlds world's a stage ot rl t f t 3 J I eis I 1 1 n a ue an d women mere y p J I I jIri Some play their parts consciously some unconscious unconsciously y 1 I had no particular ular ular pait to play on this March arch morning The weather was simply unbearable unbearable unbearable able that weather grand glorious Utah weather that we hear so much about It seemed to me as I 1 thought it over that the man who wrote that that entitled 41 Utah must have acted his pamphlet part unconsciously or per perhaps haps haps he h he might ight have hav lived up in Alaska and dreamed of s some me such place li Where the wind don't dont blow fi i fl And nd they dont don't have snow and fi dl hearing healing a the exaggerated x gg rated accounts of the perfect climate in Utah accorded t. t that rd description to Utah Surely this is th the fairest surmise I c could ld have a arrived ar arrived ar- ar riv rived d at for no man man who has lived in Utah through a winter could conscientiously sly write of Salt Lake w weather ather in such glowing terms j. j I awoke with a sigh this Saturday morning miserable morning miserable gloomy weather always makes me sigh It was vas snowing a and acid d blowing a simple repetition of the the p previous ious days aye and m months It was enough to put a man beside himself make himself make a pessimist of him him- What What t sl should I do My My plans if I had had any would have been made in ini vain vain i so so soI I could only sit and grid find fault lf with th the weather I I thought of going t to see see Do Docy Docy-an Docy y-an y an old d chum of f mine but he would talk me to death with Utah past present and future Then I named over several others of f my friends and quarreled with them for their ir hobbies There was Larkin Lai kin He was a crank on womans woman's rights lights arid and d if if there is anything I detest in a man is to hear him spout womans woman's rights lights rightson on all occasions There was Clarmont Oh what a clam he would only say yes yes or orno c no no or possibly Well yes I think so so too tool Or there was Professor Caine a most de delightful but decidedly conceited conceited conceited con con- fellow who could talk of little else lse hut but his new new discoveries in mathematics mathematics mathematics mathe mathe- matics which I could find and read lead of in authors utho s as asfar far back bad as 1862 and even e earlier Then I thought of going to see my old friend Doctor Griswold I could spend a few hours in his office w with th comparative comfort 01 1 To be sui sure e he had his hobby in his his Hale Method but but- butI ut I had the consolation of feeling that he would probably be busy part of the time timer and would would- leave me tot myself Yes I 1 would go and se see see him We vVe had grown up together and I felt a sort of brotherly feeling toward him So putting on my mackintosh an and rubbers I ventured out in the storm and soon found myself safely seated in his cozy office I 1 found him as ever ready to talk but it was not not Hale Method this ti tithe time e. e No indeed He had something new to talk about and greeted me meL mel l t with f it it 3 thus h 11 Good od fc morning ng Dick ick Glad Giad to s see e you v Very ry f fel t I wint wanted 4 f. f t to see Just in In tUI time to witness s my first e experiment pe with ith my my new process f forr for r r extracting teeth teeth without pain Why i its s simply immense Knocks Hale Hale- f Method out completely Oh dear now I t was in for for it it Was Vas there no escape escape I began to get unea uneasy y and finally mustering courage rose roset to go No dont don't go Ive I've a circus in n store stoie for fr you Ive I've got appointments with with University students this morning morning- and you w will U not regret staying said ai he pushing me back into the chair I ha had been occupying The The beauty of this this- process is that they take a sniff of the vapor I I have disco discovered ered and lose all aU consciousness Immediately they begin to talk of what is uppermost in their their- minds continued he e. e N Now sit here behind are ow you this curtain Here aie re the home papers papers and plenty of m magazines gaz nes to amuse you while I T am busy That was better I would stay and told him so when the door opened r and in stalked a tall over-grown over you youngster who looked as if he had once once been so thoroughly sp spanked f for r his impudence that he had ad been bashful ever since y Good morning Mr said the doctor prompt as usual Be Ber r seated please and well we'll get to o w work r on that molar Just take a breath of this this' vapor and it will wili reli relieve ve you of f all all pain It is perfectly harmless There that's it t N Now o s said iCi l lie he e turn turning tinning ng t to to ni me me he will tell tel us us his i innermost st e er thoughts r I was yas not surprised u p is wh when n he lie heg began began n The The sine of a a half b but the but t th the t doctor got to work and l' l I to my my r reading leading ad ng Presently the Presently the he doctor doctor ann announced th that t he w was was s going goin to to mix the substances for the filling and II I I listened t to th the following Oh oh Ill I'll tell y you u wh what t it is t Imade I m made de a great miStake mistake wh when n I came cameto came cam cameto to this university and began work on this paper I might have g gone e east east and learned something Im I'm not suffering from the big head but this l institution institution sti makes me sick A ten ten page page weekly w with th twelve editors Ill I'll be be a a full-fledged full editor or a printers devil one or the ot other er Poor Poorboy boy he m must must st have felt very sick for in his rambling he rated first one editor and then another until th the d doctor shut him off to to finish his work It was was soon over and just as he was leaving ir in came a fellow whom h hi he lie i saluted as I could not see see him being behind th the curt curtain in b but but he seemed to talk like a fellow who was as tir tired d of of the weather as asI I w was sn s n Doctor octor he he beg began ri I have hav a very vei very troubles troublesome tooth tooth which Id Id I'd like i e. e extracted extracted The doctor doctor ever ready presented his new new p process and prevailed I.- I. r Just j u t inhale one breath breath said he No N pain pain J no evil eff effects after afterward afterward rt J With a There T iere from from the doctor r th the deed was done but the vapor r had hada J t a work to do and Mr began to mumble and tar talk As Ive I've told y you u before e he said aid there needs to be a head head editor to tor r t this this' is' is paper aper Some one with brains I feel this ye year r has been bee thrown away ar I nt learned earned a H tiling thing ing I have spent all all' my ti time working on op t this this' is' is p paper paper p f for r alleged glory and you know th that t you have hav lost time here that m might have havet t f g gained much for you somewhere else Wh Why heres here's I never e er ha had a po good st stait stai tin in that subject ct and and have had th the same same professor Here he switched ch d I. I next next r G Good d I want to fo see see and began Say are you coming back ye year year r tl this UNIVERSITY UNIVERSITY- V IV CHRONICLE NICLE go on ona Z and 1 Im I'm afra afraid d aft after I leave 5 v it t. t will iH f fall I I but he consciousness and out of of the chair He He gained through I- I got I d was hardly put out ut of the office when a pleasing feminine voice l was heard 1 Z J Good Goo morning orning doctor Am I late 11 I d I J fOh f IF Oh Oh no indeed You university students a are e always ys on J. J on time You i r l have have ave come for that bridge work haven't you I 1 0 y H Yes sir but wont won't it hurt doctor awfully or J 7 rr J S 1 I J JOh Oh Oh no s said id he I have just discovered a arnew n new method oHe entirely entirely C I J T 5 I Ps s JH H Cf p painless m I ess an and d h harmless arm I esse It I. I t is entIre entirely I y new 1 f t r f u H How w lovely of you doctor i.- i. d z cc Now sit here and inhale this var vapor apor or Th That's ts t's it J i I r s rt If She began i immediately mediate y Have you any lo lo But ut t the e cruel doctor 1 got to to work at th that t. t to tooth th a and d she had to keep still It was a long job and before he had got half through through- I had read all t the e papers and was as buried in That Mormon Suddenly I I w was interrupted by bya Y a voice as of some one suffering g from an supply over of mince pie eaten just before retiring Do you really think he does like me it said I I would wold give give anything anything t to know it for fr a fact act He Hes He's the te nicest f fellow in the university Ho How 1 I wish it were proper for a girl to tell a boy how much she liked him Id I'd go to him and and and- But the charm was broken she had revived Oh d doctor 0 tor she said said not hurto e I ad he I lOst de delightful delight delight- ight ful ul experience Thank you so much mch Goodness me it h has taken over a an f hour and nd it did n not t. t se seem m a minute I mus must be be going Good morning g doctor Well said the doctor coming behind the curtain cc what do you think of oft it now I Isn't nt it a great thing hing Why a fellow Y gets gets a g good od m matinee tinee and and p pay y for listening J jl I agreed with him i 1 1 i Now said he I have aye a genuine e. e treat fo i yo A you young g Irishman a named C Casey sey is coming in In fact he is due now and it will be worth worthwhile 3 while e t to listen iste to hiss wit Here h he comes o es n now w so o Ill I'll leave y yu you u. u i. i Jj G Good 00 d mornin morning M Mr r. r C Casey asey ij o ww The mornin nin t to the tooth h has hasbin hasbin hasbin 3 j i. i mo y ye t was rep reply y J 1 bin the manes of me nare 0 Well Vell now that that's s too bad Ill I'll soon fix that tha and with my new p process J I L to fix it without the lea least t pain Be seated Mr Casey b Well if hov o ony y way to tomake make it azy fist make it as s azy as can an be yer frind said Cas Casey y in his rich brog- brog brogue e. e j jo o I Now ow then said the doctor rJ just i inhale hale t this i vapor vapo l' l v I f fAh r Ah Go way wid no not b at the U j v. v rJ sit sity y knowin the evil of oxide No not take a swill av ot stuff tuff at a all at all ll Ii 1 This his is n not nitrous s oxide said th the doctor It I It is is discovery a and Ln U I t t. t f. f r i i i if a anew j J new ry l 11 rf Mrs jj Casey as y if it harms you Ol or you fe feel 1 t the e leas least Eai pain gl Ill I'll keep you in il- l and chewing tobacco for a month JP 0 vj Jf 1 iI I h fJ f r f J r r t. t c i t i. i r f fHe He had judged Casey well for he very grasped the inhaler and acted as asif asif s if he wanted to get all there was in the tank at one breath t Oh what a l racket How that man di did talk and how little he said Oh Oh me Daisy said he doyin fer a glimpse of yer iz Be Be- gorra oi of wish oi of cud floy oi oid d go t to to ye this But this h s got to make be bey ant at the U University i is m me e er r crazy What followed I could not comprehend but hearing healing a s shuffling shuffling- of r feet in iri the office I looked from behind the curtains and beheld the doctor va vainly trying to keep Casey's mouth still long enough to get the rubber in to prepare the tooth I laughed till I could hardly baldly stand and the doctor W was finally compelled to give dive up pup and let him talk I will not here record what he hey 1 y said as it was very personal arid and I Ii fear he might resent it I It was nearing one o'clock and I 1 began to feel that part of man c calling to tobe be appe appeased sed which cannot be put pitt off comfortably so soI I decided that I mu must go to my lunch N Now ow a word in conclusion that the contents of this story may not be misunderstood stood Knowing the persons who acted the above parts in this this farce farce I would state th that t they were were not responsible as it was unconscious acting a and d th they y were they could only be in such a a dejected frame fram of mind from t the effe effects of df f Salt Salt Lake ake weather RICHARD El D Sh ff i i |
