Show S 1 E O E HITS ITS AND Vacation is over Not prepared Poor student it Poorer recitations recitations' I Poorest marks marks' Quite a number of students are on the sick list Chapel exercises this week are held by Prof Stewart y Mr Geo Elder was at the University University University sity on Wednesday i Miss Snell was out for two days last week with a bad cold Mr Pavey of Salt Lake was at the University one day last week If you try experiment t N No you'll learn how to die Prof K K What is the reason that all the young young- ladies stear clear of Prof B B J Mr Oakey 83 Normal was seen on his old stamping grounds on Wednes Wednes- 1 d day ay 4 Walker has been away from th the University University Uni Uni- j several days owing to a death in inthe inthe inthe the family Miss Nellie Alley and Mr Guy Robinson Robin Robin- son former students were visitors Wednesday J. J L. L Gibson was called away from the University last week to attend the funeral of his grandfather Miss Anna Wolfe 91 Normal who has just returned from N New ew York visited us on Monday last J. J Danvers came up from Murray and called at the University Wednesday last He i is now engaged at the smelt smelters t ers I For first-class first dental work go to Creighton McCornick Block They advertise in the CHRONICLE Mr P. P Gillian a teacher at the Methodist Academy is taking an advanced advanced advanced ad ad- course in Laboratory Physics under Assistant Prof White A query is afloat as to what kind of an arc Noah constructed Was it an arc of a small or great circle Can any of our mathematicians answer answer H. H. H N. N T. T Musical students are requested to pay particular attention to the ad of Magnus Olson He is one of the best teachers of music west of the Mississippi Mississippi Mississippi sippi River the commotion Only the young ladies applauding Miss B B at at the conclusion of her announcement that the Physical Culture Class need not perform Owing to an action on the part of the Faculty Drill and Physical Culture were off on Wednesday in order that those students who I live ve outside of the city might go home for the vacation We have heard of a a shower of frogs but it was really surprising to see the shower of rubbers that came down from above after the Delta Phi meeting Monday night of last week There was quite a number of University University University sity football suits on the city team last Thursday McIntyre the captain of the city team and Groesbeck one of the heavy men were students at the U University University Uni Uni- ni- ni last year A report was received last week that Harry Jennings a last years year's student had cut his foot so seriously while chopping wood at Teton Basin that the physician ian feared that amputation would be A A. later necessary J. J report we are happy to say states that the wound is not so bad as at first reported F. F W. W R describing R describing the Roulette wheel It is a wheel that goes round and round 1 Miss J J curtly curtly- Did you ever ver eversee d see see one that didn't They dont don't speak now M It is strange how enthusiastic some j fellows get over a language We dont don't r j mean to attempt to anything f j but from the way walked into a ditch after the German Club had met we should think that he was adopting i 7 1 the custom of the Germans and concluded to grope his way about 1 w after four o'clock on Saturdays Its an outrage that a fellow is sent from the Library when he hasn't said a word S. S. S Well my dear boy its it's no use trying to get around the powers that be If you were talking you were made an example of If you were not well not well you ou were made an example of anyhow That's the way justice works sometimes Perhaps if the student who was heard to sa say that he would not pay for the UNIVERSITY CHRONICLE so long as he could STEAL them knew that we have a abill abill abill bill waiting for him and intend to make him pay for them when he has STOLEN the entire volume he would come up like a man and pay his dollar now and not wait until next June and pay for 51 them at the rhe rate of five cents per copy The girls give that Williams cold shoulder The boys from Miss Bates all flee And now that the days grow colder i a What will the consequence be i x If they dont don't stop snooping and prying These inquisitive lumps of conceit Who always for locals are crying They'll soon have to beat a retreat f We advise then that after this issue issue You editors elsewhere shall go We assure you the students wont won't miss miss you But they dont don't like to tell you so 1 Bored Student Well perhaps this is a fact but we have riot not realized realised d su such uch h as y yet t. t w k t If you think a course in physical culture culture cul cul- ture not very beneficial to a girl gIr 1 you should have seen two members of the theE E Physical Culture Class the other day as they climbed through the room dressing-room window on to the roof and ascending oi the balustrade de jumped down upon the landing of the first steps and so escaped as they supposed unseen far Girls you are progressing wonderfully Keep on and you will soon excel the boys in athletics A representative of the CHRONICLE Fr paid a visit to a young ladies' ladies society f. f in the College the other day and andY P Y listened to an time old-time spelling match The young ladies seemed to be quite r disco disconcerted by the intrusion of a man into their heretofore exclusive circle A and this no doubt explains the curious r combinations of letters given as the proper spelling of the words given them to spell The following is a partial list Synonym spelled and atheist spelled boycott spelled and i. i submarine spelled sub- sub marene r The following is s said lid to be a literal copy of the rules posted on a country t- t school-house school door Each pupil is required to make a bow on entering the school-house school of morning also on leaving I of the school of evening There shall be no language used in school nor on the play-ground play nor shall there bee no nor no nor no uneasy in school No pupils shall leave the school-house school without permission of the teacher No uneasy from seat to seat No fitin on the road from nor to school nor no Nick Every pupil over eight years shall be subject to these rules and the teacher is to make for all pupils under eight and andS S enforce these rules that shall be punI punished punished pun pun- I by swi Owing to an accident to the motor power at the printers printer's this issue is two days late Those who were in the basement last Wednesday at noon noon were startled by a crash that sounded as if the side of the University building had fallen in On rushing out of the sanctum it was found that such was not the case how how- ever It appears that Capt Angell had constructed a stool by tying four pieces of board together in some way and was sitting upon it eating his lunch when it collapsed and the young man found himself sprawling on the floor in a most undignified manner We are glad to state that no damage was done except to his di dignity ty An interesting conversation took place j between two of the girls in the dressing dressing- 1 room one day last week regarding the skeleton in the museum Below are a afew afew afew few of the statements made First Lady Lady Lady- Professor Lady Professor says that the skeleton is that of a female because the bones are so small and chest so narrow Second Lady Lady Lady- Lady Oh II Oh Oh I heard it was that of the old Janitor but I J a know it isn't because it has no false teeth After the ball The The music was perfect The The girls all looked so sweet Several of our Professors were there therein in full evening dress The The Art Gallery will not be large enough for the next one We We would like to tell you all the funny things that happened They They say that the Delta Phi ball last Wednesday was One lone of THE events of the season It It was remarked that the fifth extra was very like physical culture drill This no doubt explains why so SQ few took part in it It It seems too bad that the rooms class-rooms should have been locked so many couples were disappointed thereat Owing to a case of mistaken identity a certain Professor came near being thrashed by an indignant fellow who thought he owed the local department one We Weare are glad indeed that he discovered discovered discovered dis dis- covered his mistake for Prof might give him a worse shaking than we would The The following conversation was overheard overheard overheard over over- heard on the library floor during the intermission between a former student and a young lady who now attends the University He w whiningly Lets go into the Museum Its It's quiet in there and as theres there's no light see us She timidly Oh no we must not He bravely Now dont don't be afraid I wont won't let anything hurt you and besides there is only a lot of skeleton and stuffed things in there and they cant can't do any harm Come A moment later He He- Oh confound it the door is locked |