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Show I THE CHAIRMAN ANDTHE CLERK. I IKrom The Dixie Advocate. I Time Juno 9, ll:30u. m. I Place Office of county clerk and rc- I eorder I Clerk in the nut of writing his daily I eyistle toSkelton Publishing Company, f expressing morning greetings. "Your Royal 'fghness," the letter ':.$' runs: "Hallow mo to holTer to you mv most corglal greetings and to hex press my sincere pleasure wonce more that Hi was hable to secure for you the I printing hof the helection supplies for Washington county, hat four dollars Ices ha precinct than huny bother "county his puyiag you. ffljjhifflniT "Ho. don't mention hit, dealt boy. Hof course the 'ome paper was haftur the job, but Hi look good care hit did not lind hout what bothers 'ad prom lsed to do the job for, hand wile hit's bid would avc beed hn little better for tlio county, Hi got the board to believe be-lieve thatno one wast Tit to bu lion trusted with the printing hof those himportant supplies out your maj.jsty. "Has you know HI ham Hinglish by birth, hand ham hopposed to building hup monoplies hat 'ome. Hi would fc ve sent to the Hold country for them - ifL but time would not permit. pr "Hi feel sure that you will, bappre- ; elate my huntiring hefforts hln your he'ulf, hand that when you receive I your check for the work you will bo prompt hln " (Knter Chairman Brown with local paper.) Clerk ''Why, de.iii loy, what his lmgitatiug you.? Someit dreadful mustave appened. As some bloomln' scalawag took the hadvantuge hof you hand h under bid you hon the purchase hof a calf, or 'as " Chairman "Alnt you seen this moruin'6 Dixie Agrlvato? The little, old no account sheepskin! Why, it has dared to critlclsd US. ME AND YOU the board of county commissioners of Washington county. Alnt you hearn about it?" Clerk-"Why, no, deah boy. Hl'vo just come hup from 'ome, donutierknow. The bloomln' hidiot, 'ow dare 'o criticise criti-cise huI 'E must avo forgo', who 1 howus this county. Give me the paper." (Chairman gives paper and p.ices up and down the floor In a frenzv of rage while clerk reads. When closing t parograph is reached ho reads aloud.) I Clerk" Tho policy hof sending I money to distant concerns that can has I well be kept hat 'ome his bu ruinous I one, hand not conducive to the best hintercsts hof hany county or commit- I nlty, whether hit h effects the news- R paper, (blawst hit!) merohant, profes- I slonal man or laborer, hand the voters I will properly take this hlnto considora- I tlon itin casting their votes hin future I holectionB.' Blawst the bloody, bloom- I in' hidiotl 'E'd make u man loose is I job and ave to ither do ard work or t co back to the Hold country. We I must squash this little hup-starthof ha I paper. Hit his haltopethur too hindo- I pendent. Ha paper that as hopinlons his ha dangerous thing hin the community. commu-nity. You go hout and work hup a sentiment hagalnst hit among the merchants and prominent people hand Hl'll write a reply that will fix it. Hi'llcall hit ha hink slingcr! The Washington county hend hof the Ulron County Recorfll Hit's h editor a quill driver. Hill call hit ha Nincompoop! (sits at typewriter) ha ha clicklty, alickity, click, ellck-z-z-z-z. (Kxlt Chairman much excited.) Two hours elapse between first and second acts. Clerk "There, if that don't fix hit Hi'd like to know what wiUV" (rises from typewriter, dripping with prcs-poratlon prcs-poratlon as Chairman enters.) (Unttir Chairman looking worn and older) Chairman "Well did you git It done?" Clerk "Yes. hand hlf this dont bust the bloomln' concern my name hlsn't Harthur Smiles." Chairman Let's hear whatitsez." Clerk" 'Ere hit his, read hit for yourself. Ho, Hi forgot. Well, Hl'll read hit to you." (Clerk roads letter Chairman listening intently) Chairman "Say, that's bully. That can't be beat in the state. Do ye think I bad better sign It?" Clerk "No, that would never do. They must be made to think the 'ole board h acted lion the matter. Don't you think you 'ad better call the bother commissioners hup by telephone hand hask their hoplnton?" Chairman "Pooh! Wnat do wo care for them fellers? Don't what we say go? What's the uso of wastln' money when It's so scarce, telephonln'. Of course we could appropriate It out of the county funds, though, like I did my expenses to the Irrigation Congress. But It's too much trouble, and them fellers don't know nothlu, nohow. Just sign it, The Loyal Coard." Clerk "Well, Hl'll just go hover and tell the hedltor hof the Hadvocate to publish this hin Ms next hlssue' hand that hlf 'e don't, we'll avo hitpubllshed hln thfl Salt Lake 'Erald, Dcsoret News, band Lonon Times. They will not dare to refuse then." Chairman "All right. And now what do you think about startln' a paper pa-per of our own? It would be a big help in getting into offices. Lots of other rich fellers has what they calls personal organs, and why shouldn't we? It would only taken little while to run the Agrlvateout and then we would have things all our own way. Of course newspapers aro kinder expensive, but we mlgiituirculato a subscription list among the boys. I'll head the l'at with 31.00, and nut it up in cash." Clerk "Well, Hl'll put hup sixty conts hout of my next year' saalury, hand hlf there his hanything lacking you could happroprlate hit hout of the county treasury hand hinclude hit hln the contingent huxponso." Chalatnan ''By George, that's right. I hadn't thought of that. Say, I guess you had better cut that scbscrlDtlon of mlno down one dollar. And you might just put In a piece In that letter that the people of Washington county aro talk-in' talk-in' of startln' another paper. That will knock the wind outer them Advocate fellers. Clork "Yes; I ope we can got this thing started hln time to hin6ure my helcotion noxt fall. Hi should ate very much to aye to farm hln tho Washington Wash-ington field-foria Jlv-lug, hor to go back to the splnnlnc wheel, (lonelier-know. (lonelier-know. What ha pity county clerks bar nothelccted to hofllco for life, or heven fgr four years, like county commissioners. com-missioners. You would feel so much more comfortable, doncherknow." (To he continued.) Special privilege is granted to the Salt Lake Herald to copy this dialogue copy-right being waved. |