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Show Mrs. Smith So you thiri, . neglmld will make a greM "x Mrs Hrown-Yes, Indeed l little darling won t even take. ' " unlets wo pay bint for It j"1"! Mlggles-r hear jou upset . sotfp on Miss Smith's gown ..J Inst night. " i, Wlggles-Ycss and It was . embarrassing Vou know t i, ' lite to ask for a second Plata ,i '" Chicago Nevv.a. P al! "' p "What mnkes ou think he I. Chicago? He handled his ., fork properly and ueed his natn. " umll)." nnu Oh, I heard him say that t, , two weeks' nllmony at no,,' J nlght."-Ncvv York Sun. r ""I Agent-I have n book you shonU, for )our son telling how to b'c politician, Ftntesman, Preside."?' ' United States, banker, broker- ttl Mrs llennessy -o wan jie mother buy wan for ou?-nroot" Henchmon-You told roe thun. would vote for )ou )ou would th. h Job I can prove It by ntai,'? iiessses ' " Polltlclnn I don't doubt It ,, , sir, I told everybody the sm, thiH1! told you Ohio State Journal " Kind Lady (honlflcd)-My Pk. , hope on don't swear' "' Small Hoy -Naw, not much.h:tr Icarnln'. Si. you-w otter h. ' paw' Ohio Stnte Journil. Mr. Van Alhort-Oreat Srotf to, are not all these dishes waaheli Mrs Van Albert Because tht t(H Is using the kitchen table Mr. Van Albert In what wj? Mm Van Albert She is pi,,.,., game of ping-pong with the doIIcmi,. -Drooklyn Life. " Mr. Popplngton D lughttr, , joung Lelllngton ou admire mil la mid to be lazy. Daughter Oh, papa, he lint it, lazy he told me nil nbout h, g, Just fco awfully Intellectual thit can't make a llv Ing -Detroit, fm Pres-s Iledvvln Heltcr has a rather oT slve way with him He doentki me, never sivv me hut once befori ,, )et he vvnlkn up with a provokltiitw nera nnd calls me "my good man.- Tlcknt.r Called )ou good man, f be? Oh, well, na ou sa), he doer know ou' Boston Transcript Mlsa Nooze) Yes, I vlnlttj k house lint night, but I never r. again She s too Insulting Miss Apeum- You don t say? Miss Noozey- Indeed, I do nr RtS before all the company she said, -Lj have a rubber at hist" Then ii asked me to pla -Philadelphia Pus Aunt Hannnh-I saw that jrej mm kiss )ou, Jane, how did It cm about? Jane In the moat natural siy ! tho world, nuntle He asked me II would be offended If he kissed me u I told him It wns Impossible for mil say until I knew what It aa like Boston TrnnHcrlpt, Cawklm (to mnn he's Just mfll-i clients nlwa) return to meatalmli 1 ve served them once Danks You re lucky' Mine murr Cavvklns Too bad! Lr are roi la)ci? Dinks No, sir; I m an underliki. Judge. Magistrate Don t )0U know toU. else about the case? Witness-Well, there are lomt ! fncts, but, ni Klplng says, 'thatm other stor" Mnglstrite S ver mind what li Ling sn)S Well let Ihe Chink lti for himself Catholic Standard. Philip wna sa)lng his rrayemb'ta going to bed, nnd ended hla iiwia tlnn with "Amen, rhlllp Evans" "Wh), Philip, why did yoa ' that" naked his mother "Well " he replied, ' I didn't rt flod lo mix me up wllh llrotlwrtl-he llrotlwrtl-he does net n dreadfully!"-& Transcript. Kate Martha hss got r.er'lfn dais) suit. She's what I callatw gill i:dlth-A brave girl simply ; she Is gnlng to wear a short elrrt public? 1 don't sec where Ihe Inn ionics In: the thing Is qullecem Kate (luesa )ou never h Slnrthn'n feet Boston TraiuW Mrs. Twickenham (to Sirs tiling Of Into we havo been havlmtouriw m nt In by vnrloui uitercra Wllllo Sllmson (to hla onT Miiminn, I. that what )0U bim" you snld that Mrs Twickenham" know where tho next meal ut' from? Town nnd Country. Tho rude boya of the neW' having learned that there t" wedding In tho lone brick lwu' Hie edge of tho town that evenlW been giving the happ) "?"'.,) nade with Iln horns, cowbell er musical Initruments for foj hours, when nn upper llia, raised and a nlghtcappid " tin ust foith. .,.. ' Don't stop If you re ""'".i.., time. bo)H," said a voice P"1'.!. Iho nlRlitcnppp.1 head m,',lji turbln' nobody. 1 he ) our f-' wna mnrrleil here this cvenln " and dumb" e.crtl" Then tho window ''" ., deep sllcnco Immediately W reign -Chicago Tribune. ., "Wi'vegoliillttlomorertnB lint, now," ' That so?" .., a: "Yes, wo'vo Just scrnH "' off tho wnlla."-Phll'lcr"ltr' Two Sc indlnavlma of III1""'' ly wept to law over a ''0,"".Mi them had shou nnd the fo"11' transcript of a part of the ir' , Q -Mr. Peterson, what Mi,c worth? A -Dog wort' Iw" nottlng, do .log Is dead , j, Q-Suppo-o the dog w )v then what would )cu lM ' , A -Villi, de dog enle iM.ii ketpdodog Ya like de doS, Q Hut, Mr- Peterson. ,uruV de,B was .Hives and uppe"00,. I., sell him. whit """telle him? A.-Vall. Va can pie Dea enlo nnny dog marKei Q-Wcll. Mr I'eleraon, JM,j dog good for, anyway A" ,rji Is good for riinnln" akuna I'll'- . e.irther railing In produce 'M Jef' theie, on cross exanilnntl0" nllarltedhlni. nnd f'' ,d self-defence, to wh ch h ' ' Ya enle shoot de dog ndj)uBftl |
