Show only in a business Bus inee way so clara rejected the plumber mo do you know why somebody told her to be careful about encouraging him as ho be hit the th pipe french army aeroplanes aero planes are being used to carry ammunition but it strikes us that they are dangerous enough even when not loaded A californian has written to his congressman asking for a cop copy of the congressional ional record evidently he Is looking for a cure for insomnia 4 A boat has been in vented by a genius in norway but the fool who rocks the boat will find some other method of bursting into print A court has decided that it Is not unlawful for a man to play poker in his own bouse house but if he Is wis wisp he will not do it unless his wife Is away policeman in berlin shot three burglars without notifying the moving picture men A mistake of that thra kind in paris parts would have cost him his job A french duelist Is about as harm less as a chas master but a french taxicab bandit Is not the sort of person one would care to meet act et in a dark alley A chicago hotel has abolished the rg register Ister and the guests sign cards which are filed out of eight bight thus la Is passing away another cherished insel aution brunette lu in new york wants a dl dt vorce because her husband raves in his sleep about Blon blondzell diell evidently she does not like the color coor of his at illi illinois boasts of a laundryman poet if be can mangle verse aa as well as the average laundryman can mangle shirts we borrow sorrow for the en blab language in spite of the fact that industry is abeel a jewel of great price wo e find and it bard hard to refrain from heaving a water ater pitch er at the neighbor who amov mows 8 hia his lawn at 6 a m A wife 8 c companionship according to a new york judge la Is worth north a pear ar we take it that the judge Is not married or it he Is married he la to not henpecked the alphabet according to a old and yet a at Is year years good many of us have not taken advantage I 1 of the opportunity to become ac acquainted quain ted with it A railroad mutt pay par for the death of an airedale terri berrr er rr r beca sise the dog used bis big best discretion to escape being hit the life of the alre dale takes on new interest one hundred thousand caddie are kept from sunday school by golf says there Is convention but religious it guarantee that they would go to no sunday gunday school if there were no golf we have it from john L sullivan that the pugilists pug Ulata ot of today are not what they ared to bo be but in johns day typewriters were scarce man atan says sas an uplift person IB is the only animal that smokes likewise he la the only animal that holds political campaigns poor mani maill the weather mans prediction for the week Is generally fair it te is characteristic of hia his prophecies tha be he always leaves room for hedging A cleveland man who chope the ill life of a crook has loat lost a legacy of 33 because of it people with rich relatives should behave themselves A physical culture expert tells ue us that crawling on all fours Is good for the health but that would be carrying the darwinian theory too far new york woman has at various times annexed three husbands all of them in the oil business busl nesa and then they say that woman Is inconsistent A western girl baa has been awarded a judgment for for breach of P promise romise probably the 28 la Is for the ice cream an and d soda water she get A new rr french aeh acro aeroplane plane has wings that can be folded but the average aviate Is satisfied if the wings only where they belong while he Is flying judging from fron uthe the number of turkish islands he bus has annexed in the last few low months the king of italy must be thinking of going into the real estalo business the french detectives eay may they are are on the track of mona slona lisa but lisa cannot displace in this country both bo baseball and a presidential campaign A gapay queen who died recently in england at the age of nas as an in iet et erate smoker but it Is hardly edl tying to see a woman of that age rolling a pill soap says a boston doctor should be at least six cypris old be fore it Is used evidently ev deatly he alms to became the idol of asery american schoolboy the report that prunes are selling 1 li nev ow york for a nickel apiece re the startling fact that some persons eat them deliberately and without cot the new battleship arkansas Ark anaas Is declared c to have proved herself the sw swiftest attest in the world well if W we 0 must have battleships it Is some comfort to know we have the best at I 1 least aas t until somebody eixe else buildt hot bot ter it costs elx six cente cents in pittsburg to beat onee ones mother inlaw in law pittsburg being the home of millionaires lux uries come high A beauty doctor telle tellis us that a slap in the face aide the complexion A wallop on the eyo eye certainly lend lends color to the countenance women this year are wearing gowns similar to those of 1835 but the average woman noman would rather nave have smallpox than were last years gown it ie Is safo safe to say that no housewife unless ehe she wanta wants a divorce has had the temerity to tie pink ribbons on the enow snow shovel and hang hung it up in the living room A sheriff in connecticut died of the th excitement caused by stopping a base ball game sheriffs should be of that sterner duff stuff of which baseball bae ebal umpire umpires are alao also made A eclen Het informs us that the aver age human body contains cont nina material foi fol seven bare bars of but we know men whose appearance would hardai lead to that conclusion the man who write writes peed eed cata loguen Is an honored member of the th ananias club but he Is a amateur ic in comparison comp arleon with the man who write writes summer resort literature the furnaces turnac ps q tho the world it Is in eat sti mated burn tons of coal a year hut but many a man feels feats ai no though his own furnace during the fet not winter has done almost as an well as an that alone new york hack drivers have de handed police protect protection lon during tb th email hours of the night probably nat Is in the only way they can prevent their customers from forcing excessive fares upon them walters in one of ChIrp chirigos gos clubs 51 struck truck lan a rule forbidding tipping was put iti ill force one wonders what a waiter who strikes because he is not permitted to be a fawning syco thinks of himself A college professor says that boyr go wrong because of tho the things thy ca carry rry in their pockets aills having no pockets po cete of course have to wait until they grow old nouga enough to load their junk into a band hand bag a police superintendent says that be he win will not interfere with innocent spooning in the public parke police superintendents superintend enta name Is thomas mcquade and he ban ha a warm heart to fit the name new england has a shoestring trust what of it if some cor corpora pors alon will corner all the hooks and eya and to sell berried devices it will secure the gratitude gratl of several thousand married men inen |