Show l Phillip aw IMAGINARY INTERVIEWS UNCLE SAM 1 ANn AMI JOIN JOHN Q Q CITIZEN John Q Sam Sam you look different all of a sudden Uncle Sam Sam Sam-I I feel different In fact I haven't felt better In years John You Q-You Q You mean to say you feel the best In years with this war crisis and everything Uncle Sam Sam That's That's Just it Ive I've suddenly shed the hypocrisy torn off oar the blinders and gotten rid of the Little Lord Fauntleroy suit Im I'm even beginning to look at facts and not wince Its It's wonderful S e John Q But Dut But dont don't you think there are tough days ahead of you Uncle Sam Sam Sure Sure But Dut Im I'm never at my best except in tough days I dont don't want to seem boastful but butIn butin butin in all these years of coddling comparative comparative com corn ease and comfort I haven't felt right There were times when I hated to see myself In a mirror John Q Its It's Its It's strange but I feel teel the same way Ive I've been squawking squawk squawk- ing and making demands all over the lot Ive I've been getting sore because because because be be- cause I had to keep hep the old car carthree carthree carthree three seasons Ive I've been yelling murder because there were worms on the third green at the country club and Ive I've been working up a terrific peeve because of the lack of free gasoline And now suddenly sudden sudden- ly they all aU seem unimportant and trivial Uncle Sam Sam Its Its It's a swell break for forus forus forus us both John Q But Dut But it means plenty of trouble I suppose Do you feel in condition for It ire oj Uncle Sam Sam Sam-No No darn dam It ill Ive I've grown so soft its it's going to be a terrific terrific terrific ter ter- ter- ter battle to get into shape John Q I I feel pretty flabby too Say why did you let me get this way wayT Uncle Sam Indignantly indignantly lIow How did didI i I let YOU get this way I What I Iwanna Iwanna I wanna waona know is la how YOU let ME MB I get this way John Q Youre You're Youre You're the boss I just do as 81 Im I'm told Uncle Sam Sam That That's your story tory and were we're both stuck with it lt Youre You're the real boss John Q Who Who Me Uncle Sam I I only rc reflect your wishes and opinions And for tor years I got the idea aU all you wanted was plenty of ot white meat John Q Dont Don't Don't Dont blame it t all aU on me Sam Every time I looked at t you you were busy on plans plana for the themore themore themore more abundant life Instead of a R tough wiry old guy cuy with his hia fists clenched and his hla sleeves sleeve rolled up you were Ilk like a fat spendthrift yelling yell yell- ing that life was just a bowl of cherries cherries cher cher- ries and asking everybody to step up and help himself Uncle Sain That Sam That was your fault You got so you thought I was a SLOT MACHINE And you were always always al al- al ways looking for the jackpot John Q Why Why listen when you you should have been down to brass tacks developing your muscles and hardening yourself for any contingency contingency contingency contin contin- gency you were behaving as 31 if lf all anybody had to worry about in this world was a bigger recreation pro pro- gram Uncle Sam There youve you've got yourself mixed up with me again r II You were the fellow fellow felt fel fel- fel- fel t 4 I tl q Wi low who demanded demand demand- ed Id tile bathrooms h fj J an orchid bed in 1 every back yard three days a week I for auto trips n and a guaranty hi against slippery roads cold nights and sand in your lettuce John Q You You babied me so much I got to like it it I admit Uncle Sam All All you wanted was the brass ring caviar with the free lunch government distribution of strawberries and cream John Q Q Why Why did you cater to me meso meso meso so much Uncle Sam Sam Sam-I I wish I knew Every Every Every Ev Ev- ery time I thought of letting you shift for you yourself self r am parc r rs r's you'd d start star wiring I r rif s 's r T me for ai aid in every ev ery crisis crisi from hl jJ f 1 u falling failing hair to a aleak l leak in the radia tor It T TJohn John Q Well Q-Well 1 air air- I 1 guess its it's all over now I guess weve we've got to cut cutout cutout cutout out the petting party and get on our own Uncle Sam mean you GUESS S TilE THE NAMES NAME'S FAMILIAR HUT BUT UT- The head bead of the German French armistice enforcement board Is II a colonel named The Germans Germans Germans Ger Ger- mans think of everything dont don't they e Brazil Drazil Will Co operate Co-operate operate With Us Says Hull Wanna bet e As a baseball club owner Mr lr Farley arley will at least never be In doubt about a third run being strictly okay 1 l 0 r J L J |