Show T 1 i- i ran ranI in I about Praising California VERNALIS 1 CALIF They CALIF-They They used to say that California flowers had no real smell and that California birds had had no song song and and that's a lie because the resident mocking bird feels feds it his Christian duty to get right un under er my bedroom window and sing all night night and and that Cali Cali- fornia grown foods had no flavor Its It's true California still produces one pear which suggests a low grade of damp cotton cotton cot cot- ton batting and one x- x 0 I variety of fig which could pass pas for li Ii 11 paste and anda ac a I c certain e r t a I n tropical paw pawpaw paw which makes you think youve you've been licking postage stamps And theres there's a special breed of mushrooms which is about the size ze of a derby hat Irvin S S. S Cobb and id tastes like one But we can grow apricots and cherries and nectarines and peaches as toothsome as you'd ask for and noble berries and luscious prunes and delectable grapes and on this great ranch about the finest melons melons mel mel- mcl-i mcl ons I ever ate Theres There's likewise a ared red onion which has bas a taste allright all allright right right eat eat at It raw and you taste it for days and days And if you think our flowers dont don't smell enough try our politics Troubles of a Pioneer T LIFE IFE in these parts is just one thil thing lg after another and sometimes sometimes some some- times its it's several things after another an an- other all at once such once such as the rush of the autograph collectors upon a poor shy movie star or the yelpIng yelpIng yelp yelp- Ing log onslaught of our estate beagles when a visiting nobleman Incautiously incautiously 1 intimates that he might sell his trailer and buy a lot But complications also pile up for fora a long life resident who has been here as I 1 have nearly two years now and so is qualified to Join the Early Pioneers' Pioneers California society Here lIere I go and take on a radio program pro pro- gram gram and and I did so hope to fly east to see what Mrs Harrison Williams will be wearing this falL At times the temptation Just to drop everything everything every every- thing and start has been well nigh overpowering Reducing Motor Accidents WERE WE'RE ERE great people at starting something but Just then along comes come a new crusade or anew a anew new movement or a new style in dl 1 vided skirts and we trail of oft off after that forgetting the issue which had seemed so passionately Important Last January we were all enlistIng enlisting enlist enlist- ing trig to make 1936 1930 a safer year on the highroads highroad With the year nearly three fourths gone what have we done to reduce the appalling mortality mortality mortality mor mor- And what are we going to do before all of us except the Idiots and drunkards who are supposed to tobe tobe tobe be the special ward of providence have been mowed down Im I'm reminded of the colored man manIn manin In Mississippi who was convicted of murder and his lawyer forgot to file me an appeal and finally the condemned man sat down and wrote this letter Dear Guvnor Please sub suh I is on the middle of a purlieu purlieu- tar Jar fix and you do some some- thin thins right away they hang me Friday here Friday here Us Wednesday already al al- al already ready Saving Your Tour Teeth T THOUGH HOUGH thy teeth be but stately state state- 1 ly Iy ruins with English ivy growIng growing grow grow- Ing all over them and bullbats nesting nestIng nest nest- Ing in the hollows fight of oft for as ea long as possible those who wh think the root of all evil is the bottom of your you r remaining bicuspid Dont Don't let embe em era embe be too fast about photographing g your jaw either No man ever yet had an X-ra X ray X-ray y picture that flattered him Particularly Particularly arty is that true when its it's an interior interior in in- factor view of the human face lace Because the next thing you know a gentleman gentlemen in a white smock is s testing some ome forceps M and a saying This may just hurt-just a little tile And then the next thing after that you your 1 uppers are as false as Jud s I did so and the result is that n no matter what else Is on the menu I t Igo go in for the Cobb pink plate cial A fellow d do does s get tired of having having everything he eats taste lik like I rubber IRVIN IR S. S COBB conn I wt es-wt e U SoI |