| Show T 9 AV t-e t IOU a Joi n e 1 A. A 11 Then Here Are Some Organizations You Ma May Have Overlooked The Society to Prevent Parent Parents Nam The Society of 01 Men Who o Wear Funny ing kg Their Offspring Clarence Hate Hat The Society for lor the Prevention of 01 Calling Call Call- O The Hay Fever Association ing Sleeping Steeping Car Porters Porter George Georae The Quiet Birdmen The with Royal Rubber Order Eau Ears of 01 Hard Hard Boiled Boiled Owl Owls The Woodland Bards Bard t The Caterpillar Club r The Ancient and Honorable Order of 01 G. G Wash Wah Pullers Puller The Benjamin Franklins Franklin 47 The Goad Guild of 01 Former Organ Orran The National Society of 01 Lon Long Fellow Fellows i o The Ancient Order of 01 Froth Blowers Blower The Society of 01 Giant Engineers Engineer 4 The Fossils The Slumbering Ground Hog Nog Lodge Lode The International The Cub Reporter Association I I The Bar Flies The Sick and Sor Sorry Club Headed Bald-Headed Club of 01 America The Sore Son of 01 Wild Jackasses Jackasses' Club The Been Society Hissed Hilled of 01 Authors Author Who Hay Have The Ship Model Makers Club t The Circus The Club Fan Fans Association The Bean Barrel Club The Ancient and 1 Honorable Order of 01 Blue Goose Goole The Polar Bear Club The Sin Six Foot Foot 0 The Ancient Honorable and Mystical Association e Order of 01 Lapa epa Lap Lapa WI h i a i I Yc r ova Iii a 3 l i SE chef chefA A S By ELMO SCOTT WATSON one has made the wise-crack wise e e J J. J that If It two or more men meet any anywhere f f where In the world and one of ot themIs them B w Is an Englishman he will Immedi V get busy and organize a club W the Insinuation being of ot course X that the Englishman Is by nature a Joiner Even en If It that were true I the fact tact remains mains that he has tins little M It if anything on his American cousinIn cousin TJ in this respect For Tor reliable stalls stalls- f V tics show that there are In ln th the S United d States more than lod lodges es or fraternal organizations which rl should presumably satisfy the longing of ot the majority of ot Americans for tor belonging Rut But that d doesn't take Into account the Innumerable Hubs flubs societies associations and other organizations and rare In indeed eed Is the American who doesn't belong to one or more of ot these All AH of ot these of ot course are organized for tor a purpose purpose social political civic business scientific tife professional patriotic and honorary honorary and and those purposes are earnestly fostered by millions mil lions of ot earnest Americans And some of ot these earnest Americans are so Interested In fostering those earnest purposes that they make an earnest earnest earn earn- est effort to see Bee how many of ot them they can Join join and and then base their claim to fame tame on the number of ot organizations to which they belong But Dut If It some aforesaid earnest American becomes becomes be be- comes Just a bit tired of ot his membership In clubs dubs which have a purpose he still has an outlet for tor his Joining proclivities In some organizations organ which are ore not so purposeful These are the ones which have sometimes been designated as freak and fun tun clubs and It Is with this type of ot organization that this article deals So Sa if you are a Joiner and are looking for tor other club dub worlds to conquer take a look at the list at atthe atthe atthe the head of ot this article and decide which one you would like to Join Of Ot course the qualifications tor for some of ot them may be a bit difficult for tor you to meet but If It you yon arent aren't eligible for tor one you may be for tor another For Instance It If you ou arent aren't a white person six feet teet and one Inch tall or more you'd oud be almost Instantly blackballed If It you applied for tor membership membership member member- ship In the National Society of ot Lon Long Fellows or orthe orthe orthe the Six Foot association The National Society of ot Long Fellows was started several years ago by Phil B. B Zimmerman of ot Topeka Nan Kan when he was hotel commissioner of ot the Sunflower state Since that time Ume the club dub has grown so rapidly that there are now several thousand members throughout the United States Some of ot the objectives of ot the club are to get longer bath tubs shirts sox an and other clothing higher awnings signs and ceilings ceiling bigger seats in theaters and room leg-room between the rows restaurant tables that do not require the Lon Long LongFellow LongFellow Fellow to hold them up with his knees and pullman pull pull- man berths In which they can sleep without doubling up like a jackknife Among members are John Aasen Ansen of ot Los Ios Angeles Angeles An An- geles Calif who heads beads the list list with oath Ith a n height of ot Inches Next eight feet nine and quarter one tallest is ClIt Thompson of ot Wisconsin who Is eight feet teet and six Inches Three seven footers are O. O R R. Williams of ot Oklahoma and Ruth Huth Duncan Duncan Dun Dun- can and Forest Glenn of ot Illinois Mr Williams William is seven feet teet and live fl Inches Mist Miss Duncan Is seven feet teet and one Inch tall and Mr Glenn Is half halt an Inch taller than titan she year Ten Robert Robert Rob Rob- ert Wadlow of ot Alton Ill Is a member Robert Hobert RobertIs Is 11 six feet teet and eleven Inches tall If It your personal appearance doesn't qualify quality you for tor that one perhaps an absence of ot hair on your Gleaming head bead will make moke you a Knight of ot the America That Skull in the Bald Dald Head fiend Club of ot Paul back In 1000 1900 when club was started away York took a photograph photograph photo photo- photograph Meade a lawyer lawer of ot New headed bald men seated on the graph of ot six steps of ot John Beldens Belden's store In 1 Falls alls Vitia Village fell of ot this photograph Conn By Dy chance a copy into the hands of ot John a Greenwich Greenwich Green Green- I t John Johnthen Johnthen Johnthen man And presto Conn newspaper then and ond there formed n a club Now it has more annual banquet banquet hanquet ban han than 1000 members and ond at every ery a stirring speech on some member gives to Headed Bald Barbers Sell Hair Tonics Which Headed Bald Boobs or some such subject U P. P addicted to covering your baldness S. S If It joure youre oure theres there's a place with outlandish h headgear adgear then of ot Men Dlen who Wear Funny for tor you OU In the Society Hats lInts Sure I l you answer Ever go 10 to the circus much about It m my myself myself year dont car ear don't dont care Go Co ery e j children lint But Just self but I have hate to take the doesn't It attendant joure youre a regular bec because bec-ause u e the In membership nun that joure youre o re eligible for unless at some ome time America not America not Cl acus cus ens Fans of ot in your Juvenile ju career you earned you way Into the Ule show by carrying water for tor the elephant Karl Kite Kae Knecht an Indiana newspaper cartoonist car car- who founded the a CL 1 F. F A. A some sonic five years ago Is authority for tor the statement that many successful men of ot today are proud of ot the fact tact that they once served tho the thirsty pachyderms and they're enthusiastic members of ot this club In a certain New York restaurant theres there's an unusual booth for tor diners Over the entrance of ot what appears to be a tent are the words SideShow SideShow Side SideShow Show and adorning the front are are re two large gaudy circus banners One boldly announces announces- Nono the Sono the Wild Girl She Girl She Speaks No Language Playmates are Deadly Serpents Another heralds La In Belle neUe Hosa Flower Rosa Flower of ot the Orient Orient- Queen of ot the Deserts Favorite Deserts Favorite of ot Sultans Inside InsIde Inside In- In side the tent are painted banners 1 rosters posters and photographs of ot circus performers and freaks T This side show v tent Is the luncheon meeting place of ot the I 1 T. T Barnum Top No 1 l of ot the Circus Fans Ians of ot America Each Bach state and large city has bas Its Tent or Top named for tor some famous circus man The organization Is primarily for tor fun tun yet It has bas a serious purpose say its members that members that is to help the circus toward bigger and better beter things Fans and lovers and friends of ot the circus circus cir clr cus are banded together to see It perpetuated and are eager that greater glory may come to the tented shows If It you missed out on the Juvenile Joy Just mentioned mentioned men men- perhaps you used to pump a pipe pIlle organ If It so your name can be spread on the roll roU of ot the Guild of ot Former Organ an association tion composed of ot those who by their pledged statements pumped a pipe organ In a church or chapel at some time In their youth Its principal prin cipal aim Is serious to serious to perpetuate the memories mem memo odes ories of ot our decadent but honorable profession and to save for tor posterity some permanent evidence evidence evi evl dence of ot the Important part the played In the musical and ecclesiastical progress of ot the ages It has hns other alms alms to to encourage tho the singing of ot the old hymns at Sunday night gatherings gatherIngs gatherings gath gath- and to prove that every successful man did not earn his first dollar selling se newspapers but but Its Us primary purpose Is to achieve a belated recognition The guild was launched In 1 1926 1928 6 under the favorable auspices of ot a natural divinity Aeolus Aeolus the Greek God and Keeper of ot the Winds and Winds and with the Ule slogan Pump for the Wind Is Fleet ing The first meeting was held in New York city In 11 1023 1928 8 Officers named after atter the stops on the organ were elected And the roster of ot members now DOW holds the names of ot some Bome of ot AmerIcas AmerIca's Americas America's Amer Amer- ica's Seas foremost citizens Will Hays the Ule czar of ot the movies did his pumping on a pipe organ In Sullivan Ind lad his hili birthplace He lie received 10 cents for tor his efforts and the dime was paid him at the conclusion of ot the morning church service His Ills mother then led him by the hand bund to his Sunday school class where he placed the money In he the usual col lection James Couzens United States sent sem ii v Michigan pumped In the t at Chatham Ont He lIe was paid 5 a year lie He pumped conscientiously for tor two years At the end of ot that time he collected the 10 he be had coming and this was a part of ot the original money he Invested In stock of ot the Ford Motor company which eventually made him one of ot the nations nation's richest men The he late Julius chairman of ot the board of ot directors of ot Sears Roebuck tk Co was also a lie He labored In the Presbyterian church at Springfield Ill and gladly accepted the cent 25 weekly stipend which was turned o er q quarterly But Dut If It In your jour our youth you didn't turn an honest hon est penny by pumping an organ perhaps you did It In a printing office once as a helper to the print print- publisher er-publisher of ot the home town paper It If that was far enough back you probably pulled a George Washington hand band press a bit of ot backbreaking backbreaking back back- breaking labor necessary In the old days If It the new reading newspaper public was to be kept Informed In formed on the affairs of ot the community If It you rou did this then youre you're eligible for tor membership In Inthe Inthe inthe the Ancient and Honorable Order of ot O. O Wash the he suggestion of ot Pullers a society founded at athe Harry C. C Webster an old Missouri print which carries on Its membership rolls the name of ot a number of ot men who have hate risen high In the field fiehl of ot Journalism and who are proud to say sav that they got their start in newspaper work at the lever lexer of ot an aD old G. G Wash Then theres there's the Cub Reporters' Reporters association comp composed of ot men who as young Journalists sought the adventure I which Is popularly supposed supposed sup sup- posed to be found In newspaper work found It It perhaps and now in the tho midst of ot busy middle age look back fondly upon the time when they tolled toiled under the lash of ot Simon a Legre Legree city editor and dreamed the dream of ot all nil cub reporters re re- porters that porters that of ot scooping the world on a big story Anyone who has been the victim of ot horseplay hazing kidding and razzing or even torture by bythe bythe the time old-time hard boiled demon city editor Is eligible for tor membership In the quick hangIngs hangings hang hang- hangings ings dough prize fighting and horrible crimes crime meant hardships and toIl toll for tor the cub reporter He lIe hot footed It around for tor news bumping into all sorts of ot hard bard and trying experiences In Inthe Inthe Inthe the OOs lids barrooms were popular community centers centers centers cen cen- and crimes were Jobs for tor reporters to solve Still In the field of ot Journalism there are the Fossils old Fossils old newspaper men who as 81 bo boys engaged engaged en en- In amateur Journalism and are proud of ot their boyish efforts And nd although such a society has not yet been formed any man will tell you that theres there's a field for tor an organization to be known as the Association of ot Those Who Used Usell to Bo Newspaper Men Themselves Are you a radio DX er Do you sit lit up late at night getting new stations over your radio either shore Bhore wave or long wave Then you can be Initiated Into tho the Royal Hoyal Order of ot Hard Boiled Owls with Rubber Ears with the howling bowling ceremonies ceremonies cere cere- monies w which mark such luch an Initiation Do you enjoy breaking the Ice In a river lake or pond and taking a 11 bath there no matter what the weather may be The Polar Bear near club dub wants wanta to hear benr from you If It you do Do you ever rub trub hay bay feber Ker Ker-chool I The Hay lIay Fever association will be glad to send you a membership membership membership member member- ship application blank Do you have unlimited faith In the woodchuck as an accurate weather prophet So do the tho members of ot the Slumbering Ground Hog lodge located at Quarryville Pa Ia Organized by George W. W Hensel Jr who Is Hibernating Governor this lodge has bas for tor Its chief aim to extol the virtues of ot the groundhog which they Say has an In Intelligence intelligence in- in te of ot a higher order than that of ot any other animal from the tick of ot the blackberry to the elephant In the Jungle and they take an oath to defend him his family and his reputation reputation tion and to guard him as he slumbers slumber Its It's not easy to get Into IntI this lodge for tor you have to be elected by the seven patriarchs after atter seven leven years of ot observation by the Defender of ot the Faith the Chief Eye Rubber the Patriarch de deLuxe deLuxe the Treasurer and other officers But Hut once you are elected you can Join in the annual ceremony on February 2 around the groundhogs groundhog's hole If It you believe that theres there's more than one name for tor the colored boys bos who look after atter your com comfort tort torton on the pullman cars then you yon should Join the Society for tor the Prevention of ot Calling Ca Sleeping Car Porters George Organized by George W W. Dulany Jr a Chicago banker the society now has thousands of ot members all over the country George Washington and George Dewey are their patron saints George Ade Me is the poet laureate George M M. Cohan Cohnn the official song writer George William Cardinal Mundelein the chaplain chaplain chaplain chap chap- lain Georges George Clemenceau was French charge and George Babe Dabe Ruth nuth Is sergeant at arms All of ot the foregoing ore are organizations to which almost anyone might possibly belong But Dut there are also others otters whose membership Is necessarily |
