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Show fore she put in tlie mutch, aotl when the fire iU-pitrtmiit fjot thrtniyhjt wlis time o'el.Mjk.'' I WHY DINNER IS LATE. Married Men Aprroo That It In Mover Ahead of Time. "It is a. curious thinff," said the Grumbler, "that, while 1 have been keeping- house for thirty years and have had my wife tell me a thousand times that dinner was late, 1 never once knew of a time when dinner was ahead of tim. I have made careful inquiry among- my friends (and I have many who have been domestic longer than I) and I do not find a single well-authenticated case where dinner was ever, at any time or place, ahead of time.'' quotes the Buffalo Express. "Five times a week the cook will do something' some-thing' she ought not to do and dinner will be anywhere from five minutes to an hour behind time, but she never gets under sufficient headway to have the things on the table before the appointed time. I have made this curious and interesting in-teresting phase of home life a careful study and I intend to write a pamphlet pamph-let about it." I "1 g-uess you're right," said the Kicker. Kick-er. "1 am a married man of some few years myself, and 1 have hod the same experience. I may get home an hour earlier than usual and be hungry as three bears, but that does not make a particle of difference. Dinner never coines before six o'clock, which is the scheduled time, but very frequently comes much after that time. I had an old uncle once who noticed the same tiling. He was in the house one day and put the clock ahead two hours to see if he couldn't work the miracle. Hut the cook fooled him." "What did she do?" asked the Grumbler, Grum-bler, eagerly. "She turned on the natural gas be- |