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Show ABOUT READY TO GIVE UP Conflicting War Reports Had Driven Unfortunate Man to the Limit of Endurance. A humble-looking, middle-aged man, who had been reading the evening paper pa-per on the car, laid it aside with a sigh that made the man next to him ask: "LMd you notice the death of a relative rel-ative in your paper?" "Worse than that," was the doleful reply. "Perhaps some great misfortune is to overtake you?" "That's it," was the reply, with oolemn shakes of the head. "You have my sympathies," said the other after a moment. "But it won't do me no good, although al-though you have my thanks. 'Before I get home, my wife will have read this paper and she'll be all prepared for me." "Prepared how?" "Why, here's a dispatch from Petro-grad Petro-grad which says that the Russians have taken a half million prisoners." "Yes, I see." "And that the Austrians have taken nearly a million." "Yes?" "And that the Germans have captured cap-tured 17 towns in France." "I see." "And that the British and French have driven the Germans back 28 miles." "Well?" "I will have no sooner reached the gate than my wife will come out and wave the paper in her hand and shout until she can be heard down to the corner. The only thing I can do is to take to my heels." "But why?" asked the other. "Why should your wife act that way?" "Because I work in the job office of a newspaper and she holds me responsible re-sponsible for all the lies printed in the paper. Either the editor or I must sign a pledge to quit lying about the war or take up some other way of making a living. I've stood it and stood it until I can stand it no longer!" long-er!" Pittsburgh Dispatch. |