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Show The Joy ride too often ends In gloom. Many a summer girl will soon become be-come an autumn bride. Automobile racing continues to annihilate an-nihilate space and spectators. The aeroplane gun, It appears, Is surer than the aeroplane Itself. An aeroplane motor is like a mule; generally balky when you want It to go. Our ancestors got rid of bears and catamounts instead of fleas and mosquitoes. mos-quitoes. Seattle is going to have a skyscraper sky-scraper 42 stories high, but only Seattle Se-attle knows what for. New York state's hobo farm Is showing show-ing good results. It is driving the hoboes out of the state. A man in Pittsburgh has discovered a cure for hay fever. Moreover, he declares de-clares it is not to be sneezed at. An aviator Is called a birdman, but there is many a gay old bird who never has flown in an aeroplane. The wife of the prize model husband has committed suicide. It Is a warning warn-ing to wives who expect too much. California reports that a single ranch there produced $5,000 sacks of beans. Business of rejoicing in Boston. The French lady who has challenged an editor to a duel will probably insist in-sist on fighting with a fatal hatpin. The statue of Liberty needs a new gown, but we hope they will not go go far as to dress the lady in a hobble skirt. A new comet is coming. As if this poor old world has not already trouble enough without this herald of more to come: Our notion of the height of Incongruity Incon-gruity is the national laundrymen's association as-sociation holding their convention in Pittsburg. Feed your husband If he drinks; don't nag-him," says a woman lecturer. But what if he persists in coming home full? Los Angeles is to have a squad of policemen on roller skates. They ought to be funny, if they are not very eBective. In spite of the fact that an aeroplane . sun has been invented our sportsmen we not clamoring for an open season lor aeroplanes. Some people look on hay fever as i joke, but the Texas man who , sneezed himself to death probably fails lo see the point And some of the American heiresses want to know what they have done that King George should reconsider bis intention to create a bunch of new English peers. Few women ever do learn anything ibout the proper use of weapons. A girl in New York laid down a copy of the Congressional Record to hit a burglar with a rolling pin. A Chicago man has discovered that rows like to- hear music while they ire being milked. This opens a field 3f useful and harmless occupations for some of the singers on the vaudeville stage. A health expert In Chicago says that nature and providence never intended in-tended children to lit in flats. Neither, it may be added, do land- lords. A citizen of Boston, seventy years old, announces that his health is due to a diet of oatmeal'and crackers. He uoes not even mention the sacred beau. Ducks in a Massachusetts post ofilee BaveJ'The place from burglary, but they never will get as much advertising advertis-ing out of it as the geese that saved Rome. Flats may be bad things, 'out houses In which the maldless housekeeper toils upstairs with a baby on one arm and a bucket of coal on the other are worse. A San Francisco millionaire's wife wants a divorce because he allows her only $20 a month. Come to think of It, being a millionaire's wife on $20 n month is not what might be called ft pleasant pastime. Fall styles in men's hats indicate that even the bald can have a little wool on the top of the head In the place where the hair ought to grow. Why reproach the katydid for Its failure as a prophet of frost? Our hiijh-priced weather department aiso has been known to make mistakes. The czar has approved of the addition addi-tion of a big slice of Finland to Kui-Bla, Kui-Bla, which shows that as far as that unfortunate people are concerned, be Is beginning at the Finnish. |