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Show OGMfiN HILES, AND UTAH. It was to be expected that our other old friend, Mr. Ogdon Hllos, would say something ugly about Utah because tho legislature of this state didn't provide aovon and a half thousand dollars for the expenses food, fluid and other for members of the Grand Army to attend the Gettysburg celebration celebra-tion in July of this current year. Ogden hasn't seen his name In the papers since the decease of the late and little regretted American party, lie used to get on the front page during the activities of that admirable but departed organization. But he has selected as usual an unhappy timo and reason in his latest demand for space; and ho didn't get farther than the editorial page of the Tribune. Which is a reduction In the ranks that Ogaen would have resented as a personal affront a fow bnlof yoars ago. In happier timos ho would have- boon content with nothing less than run of paper in tho local columns. And ho Is furthor unfortunate because ho berates be-rates the members of the legislature for what ho seems to regard ns a proposed rejection of the demands de-mands of tho old soldiers for pay and travel expenses ex-penses to Gettysburg. Ogden is mistaken. The legislature was minded to spend the seven thou- I sand and a half for tho benefit, entertainment and -sousing of any one-tlmo military gents, and meant I It sincerely. But, for one reason and another, in no case influenced by what Ogden regards as Utah's hostility to tho cause of tho Union and tho pride of republic, tho appropriation suffered the same fate of some other bills that didn't get to the governor. gov-ernor. The failure had nothing whatever to do with tho asserted cause Utah's hostility to the i cause of patriotism. And it didn't have anything to do with tho purposed intention to keep Ogden Hllas from going to Gettysburg, either. In fact, there is a reasonable belief that members of tho legislature, being of sound mind and short memory, mem-ory, didn't remember ever "having hoard of Ogden Hlles. Of course, if they had known of him. they would have regretted ho had not been already at Gettysburg. There are so many men there who could have better been spared and they have 111.111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 been on the ground ever since July third, eighteen sixty-three. That brings up another matter. There are, as of course you know, two Ogden Hileses. One Is the local member of the bar, and tht other Is the Ogden Hlles who lives In the memory of some certain cer-tain eastern people who once saw him at Prove And thiB is tho story. Ogden had a enso at law once upon a time. It was at Provo, though tho location of the case has nothing whatever to do with the mental capacity of the client. Ho may have been sane. Lots of l'rovo people are. Any way, the case had been tried, and the Salt Lnke lawyers were down at Jim Clove's station waiting for the Rio Grande train, on which their passes were good, for they meant to get back to Salt Lake as soon as they economically could. My other old friend Ed Cal-lister, Cal-lister, now reigning collector of revenue for three great states, had been down the road some place, and was on his way home. lie was strolling up and down the platform, foi the Rio Grande was on time, as usual, and evidenced no hurry to get away for the north. A good man came out of one of tho Pullman cars, and strode earnestly up the planks till he came to Ed. Ho lookod him over with tho shrewdness of the avorago oastorner, and then spoke. "My friend, are you acquai' ted with any of these people?" "Oh, yes," said Ed, looking about him. "And can you show me a Mormon?" Now, from some things that collector has done Ir local and other politics you may have gathered tho notion that Ed Calllster has no sense of humor. But he has. Ho listened for an Instant to the patter pat-ter of tho easterner, who wanted to find a real live Mdrmon, so he could show It to his wife and tho other residents of the Pullman, and take back to his usual habitat on the Passaic river the description; de-scription; and Calllster was tho man to accommodate accommo-date him. "Yes," said Ed. "There is one." He pointed to Ogdon lilies, who was far too proud of his manly form, his impressive bearing and his broad hat to go into the car until the last moment before starting. start-ing. The eastern man looked at the Salt Lake City attorney member of the bar, I mean and called H to his wife. H "Just as I told you," the fraud said to her. "I H knew him the minute I clapped ees on him. You H can tell them at a glance. And now, my friend, H how many wives has he?" H Calllster looked at Ogden Hlles, and tho tempt.i- H tion was too great. H "Pour," said he, with that placid lovelnoss of H tone which any one would mistake for tho truth. H And the eastern mnn walked up and around Ogden Hlles, two or three times, taking him in from H every angle, and then exclaimed: fl "My God! how can as homely a man as that get M een one?" M That, being beyond the power of Calllster to ex- H plain, the coming father of the federal bunch didn't H volunteer any reply. But wherever that eastern M man and his wife have gone In the years that have H passed, they have carried tho mental photograph of Ogdon Hiles, and the mental picture of his four M misguided wives. H Wl '"h brings up another Mormon story. H Nobody In Salt Lake ever will forget tho Rev- fl erend Dr. W. M. Paden. He made the First Trcs- H byterian church of this town, and ho Is the wisest fl man that ever wore the cloth; for when the tyrant M tailed Fashion changed the brand of breakfast H food, and laid an Interdict on tho usual Mormon m as an edible, Dr. Paden resigned his pastorate. B and went to greener fields .and pastures newer in M the effete east. But while he stayed here, the good M doctor worked tho anti-Mormon sentiment to a M fureyouwell. Out of it it ho erected a monument M to himself, sometimes mistaken for a monument fl to his church; and in it a very few people worship m every Sunday. Ho was, in a sort of way, the very M patron saint of tho whole anti-Mormon crusade, thu M father confessor of the American party. If you could have conjured up In your mind all tho typi- M cal characteristics of tho Mormon, and then looked H for Its antithesis, you would inevitably have chosen fl Dr. Paden. H Well, one day a group of tourists had been in it HI Savage's, getting some rather excellent pictures ol H the town and its environs, and were standing .it the door waiting for a car to take them some place. H else. And a native standing near them, they fell H Into the usual tourist habit of asking question M They wanted to see a Mormon; and the native, H looking up and down the street, saw Dr. Paden H coming. H It was Monday afternoon. Dr. Paden always H shaves on Saturday evening, so that it would b H unnecessary to break the Sabbath day. Ana In was as well appearing gentleman In tho pulpit a.- jM ever lined a hymn. Rut it is no publication ol jH secrets to say that once drest by himself, and left jH to the usual course of nature, he wasn't all that jH Reau Brummel would have desired by Monday M afternoon. Tor one thing, he never could get hi coat on with tho collar where it ought to havt ! been. It would tuck under, and stay there. Ther B was dust on his shoes, and a virile growth of beard jH on his cheeks. He was out of harmony with bib .H est buttons, and always, unless clad with care, H would begin with button number one, ami button- jH 'liifl H holo numbor two nnd kaep up tho discord all tho H way down his front. Also, ho aton 3d a littio In H his walk, and didn't hurry. So tho tatlve pointed H him out as a typical Mormon. And tho tourists H wero satisfied. H They looked nt the reverend man as ho passed. H They told each other that his lascivious and bestial H character was revealed in his face; that his utter H disregard for the sartorial conventions proved his H lack of respect for women, and that his slouching H gait showed the physical exhaustion of the man. H Now, it happens that Dr. Padenwas and doubt- H 'kss still is a model if morality. His features may H nqt be all that handsome men would demand, but H there has never been an action in his, life that would leave a featured evidence of impropriety. H And his carriage was simply that of a gentleman H who was thinking of other-and higher things than m clothes and safety razors. m But it grave the tourists what they wanted. And B they Will carry to the day of their several deaths H .the mental portrait of Dr. Paden, pastor of the H First Presbyterian church of Salt Lake and chief H ; ot the Mormon haters as typical of all they had W t lizard and believed to the discredit of the Mormons. H t It all goes to- show that 'Uere is a good deal of H nonsense in this spirit which Mr. lilies has taken B pains -to revepl In his note to the Tribune. That H Gettysburg appropriation wac not defeated by Mor- H .mons. It has been defeated -in many states where H there are no Mormons. It was defeated because H such men aa Ogden lilies have done a good deal Hj to prove that the old soldier graft is played out, H and that-there- la no more-reason for. sending him V and his assoeiaU to- Gettysburg now, since the H buttle is over than there la in sending members HJ of other organisation. io their national conven- Bl tions In the qast, |