OCR Text |
Show LIVES OFGREA T MEN "Coffin Nail" Korns Seven A. M., out of bed, 1 looks out the window and Bees the smoke. I Jumps back and hides his head under the cov- I ers. Eight o'clock, gets on the street car. Sees I a man smoking on the front end, so gets off I and walks. While walking meets a man smok- I ing a cigarette, beats it for the other Bide of I the street. While crossing sees a cigarette butt I in the gutter. Rushes to telephone, fires street I commissioner. Now nine o'clock. Delivers I thirty minute address before the Amalgamated I Order of Boobs on death and perdition follow- I ing tobacco smoking. (See revised lows of Neb- I raska.) Ten A. M. attends Commission meeting, I sniffing at all reporters standing In hall with I lighted cigarettes. Introduces ordinance clos- I ing everything but unsanitary commission I houses; motion seconded by side kick Mor- I ris and concurred in by other members of Com- I mission who have received instructions before- I 'hand how Korns and Morris want them to vote. I Fumes of tobacco enter window, Korn moves I adjournment. Morris seconds. Commission I adjourns. Lunch time, has difficulty finding a I place where sinkers and coffee can be produced I without an encounter with the deadly cigarette. Two P. M. Commission re-convenes to hear temperance tem-perance lecture by the Nebxaska Kid. Introduces resolution to make smoking a capital offense. Temporarily tabled until Commission consults First Presidency. Five o'clock Commission adjourns. ad-journs. Five-thirty, supper. Six o'clock, dark. Six-fifteen in bed till tomorrow. Pretty lucky guy, that! Sure, pretty soft for him with that moss on his back! Nothing to do till tomorrow! B. F. Grant Up but not shot at sunrise; swings on the gate in front of First Presidency until they get up; gets his orders; goes to the county building, gets them confirmed by brothers bro-thers Park, Lawrence, Morris and Korns. Ties down a traffic cop on the Main street intersections inter-sections with instructions to stay there till the traffic get thick in the evening and then leave. Writes daily set of rules for observance by coppers. cop-pers. Reads temperance lecture to first offenders. offend-ers. Censures boy who bought a gum drop on Sunday. Gets afternoon orders from the Beehive. Bee-hive. Eats supper. Back to the office and gets interviewed. Digs up two laws framed in Heber C. Kimball's time and ties a blue ribbon on them. Holds religion class in chief's private office. Invites Mutual to hold their meetings in police court. Orders station locked Sundays during Sunday school and Tabernacle service hours. Receives reports as to whether or not his orders have been carried out as to closing everything on Sunday but the tenderloin; receives his salary, sends ten per cent by special delivery to the church. Receives delegation of purists headed by Dr. Paden and Parson Simpkins. Takes the air in the Greyhound; asks brother Smith what he proposes to do about the case of County Attorney Willey; tells the newspaper men it is none of their business, nnd is so busy all day hindering merchants in the legitimate puruit of their business that ho is exhausted and has to go to bed by the time the crooks go abroad at night. Gee, he's a lucky guy. Nothing to do but pomade his hair until tomorrow. |