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Show Passing Chimes By James Barton Adams. THE FATEFUL SPOTS ON THE SUN. Whenever ususual things come to pass They are laid to the spots on the sun; If a lover in jealousy murders his lass, He was swayed by the spots on the sun. If the ball we're residing on quakes to the core, If the floods sweep the valleys and mad tempests :roar, 'Tis by science most speedily laid at the door Of the terrible spots on the sun. If lava spouts forth from a flue of the earth, It is due to the spots on the sun, If a dame to an excess of babies gives birth, Science points to the spots on the sun. If a tidal wave washes a continent's feet, If a senator asks to resign from his seat, "If a truth should appear In a yellowish sheet, It is charged to the spots on the sun. If a girl jilts a count and elopes with a dub, 'Tis because of the spots on the sun, If a fellow gets warps In his legs at the club, They are traced to the spots on the sun. If a woman takes up, her abode in S. D. To have the bonds severed from which she'd be 'free In order to wed Number Two maybe Three The mad Influence'" comes from the sun. No matter what happens, the cause can be laid To the spots on the face of the sun, The dreadful influence wo cannot evade That comes from the spots on the sun. E3'en when a verse architect honestly tries To write rhythmic sense his erratic pen flies To jingle like this, because Pogassus shies At the threatening spots on the sun. It is said that Speaker Cannon danced at a birthday party in San Juan. Wasn't that a little beneath the dignity of our biggest gun? "Twenty-two thousand volts of electricity wont through a Ypsilanti man and' never got a cent," says a Detroit paper. What shocking levity! ''Why was the billion dollar congress?" asks a woman writer We can only give the womanly reason. Because. Congressman Each is a candidate for senator from Wisconsin. The name sounds like the prelude pre-lude to a sneeze. "Wo begin to see the administration's point," says Mr. Harrlman. From the manner In which the magnates are squirming, It Is evident that they also begin to feel It A Georgia poet says he will "trim his lady'a hat with ribbons from the rainbow and give her a star for a hatpin." While he is at it he might add a feather from the wings of time and tear a strip from the veil of night to cover the head-dream. "Don't be a clam," is drummed into the ear Of boy kids when they first begin to toddle, . But now and henceforth we will only hoar: "Don't be a mollycoddle." After it has been decided who is the most beautiful woman in America, the magazines will be flooded with ads. of complexion beautlfers, each manufacturer claiming that she owes her beauty to the use of his unrivalled face dope. |
