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Show A MAGAZINE STORY A LA MODE. The Missing Golf Ball. Slitting open his left forearm with a razor fl Holmes was about to inject a bicycle pumpful of fl cocaine, ether, Willamette water, and local-option dope, when the light of battle gleamed in his eyes and caused the cat to think dawn had come "Some oije is coming upstairs, Watson," he said fl "I heard footsteps on the stairs, but You won fl der how I know our visitor is coming up instead fl of going down," interrupted Holmes reading my fl thoughts. "It's childishly simple," he continued "i fl fixed the second step from the top so that any fl one treading on it is stiot down the whole flight The stranger hasn't fallen yet and must therefore be gomihg up." At that moment there was a crash. Holmes opened the door and stepped out. "Try again, my dear sir," he called out to the man. who lay In a tumbled heap at the bottom of the stairs. This time our visitor was more successful. He entered the room and took a seat opposite the window. "Did you have a good game?" aslced Holmes "Hpw did you guess " fl "Nothing my deajr sir," answered Holmes. N "Your mouth has certain lines brought on Dy say- B ing a vigorous word beginning with d, and the Sell- l wood transfer hi your pocket tells me you are a fl golfer." fl "Yes, I play golf. My name is McStingo," said our visitor. "I have come to ask you to solve the mystery of the los,t golf ball." Holmes brightened up. , The old sleuth hound instincts awoke. In a few moments he had the story from McStingo. Four thousand golf balls had been lost in two weeks. "Are you prepared for a long trip, Watson?" said Holmes, placing a revolver in his pocket "Better take a Scotch glossary," he added. I compromised on a flask of it." Reaching the ground, Holmes drew out a microscope micro-scope and examined each blade of grass. "A cow has been here lately," he muttered. "How did you know?" He showed me a cowslip. Inquiries in the neighborhood showed that there was indeed a cow. She was the picture of health "That cow," said Holmes, "has swallowed the fgolf balls. You see that big ad over there, 'Pills for the Pale.' She has taken the golf balls for pills, and the influence of mind over matter has caused her to grow well and give lots of milk " On our return -to the house Holmes turned the case over to Detective. Night, with the advice to gqt-put a search warrant. Wex Jones In Ore-gonian. George Ade, who recently startled his .friends by remaining for a week in his room in a New York hotel and submitting to a starvation cure for Ingestion, la said to have written a one-act Yaudevlll play which many actors are bidding for, hut whioh ho refuses to allow to bo produced. pro-duced. The principal character is an old negro from the south, now employed as the doorkeeper of a Now York gambling house. His former master, a typical typi-cal southern colonel of the old school, is a broken" gamester, and therefore no longer welcome. The boss gambler orders the negro to throw the old man out if he comes again. He does come. The negro would as soon think of ejecting the archangel arch-angel as his former owner, who is shabby and hungry, but still proud. So the faithful black confesses to having long ago stolen from him a $5 coin which he never did and Insists on making restitution. The colonel col-onel reluctantly and condescendingly accepts the supposed conscience money and departs. Then the boss gambler comes in and asks if the intruder intru-der has gone. "Yes, yes, sab," says the negro; "he obstruded hisself an I throw'd him out." tv i Gregory "Wilenkin, the new secretary of the Russian embassy, has a ready and alert mind. At Bar Harbor, where he was stationed for the summer, sum-mer, an amusing story about him hs circulated of late. It seems that an elderly New York millionaire, who had known Mr. "Wilenkin abroad, sent him, on his arrival at Bar Harbor, a half dozen cases of Egyption cigarettes. Mr. Wilenkin expected the cigarettes. He knew how many cases were due him. But the man servant ser-vant who delivered them, being unaware of this, appropriated one. The Russian detected the theft at once. He said to the man dryly: "Tell your employer that I thank him for the five cases of cagarettes. Be sure to thank him yourself for the other." w tr w THE VINE. The wine of Love is music, And the feast of Love is song: And when Love sits down to the banquet, Love sits long: Sits long and arises drunken, But not with the feast and the wine; - He roeleth with his own heart, That great, rich Vine. James Thompson. |