Show Kathleen Norris Says Say I Daughters Give we Hints in s to o Mothers o oDell Hers Dell Features 1 k i 1 o 1 v t 1 I t fG v I z 4 f It e t I r r A i EEE ti t- t 6 I I 1 I f 1 Syr I I I r j y rt T t I t tt t i t t J It 0 e t tG t G Nothing is more embarras embarrassing n to a girl who takes her friendships friendships friendships friend friend- ships seriously than to have her mother all coyness effusion and playful hints By KATHLEEN NORRIS TN N PORTLAND ORE a few u weeks ago some high school schoolgirls schoolgirls schoolgirls girls formulated six rules for their mothers This turning of the tables was regarded as highly amusing and endearingly endearing endearing- ly saucy at first but in the end the mothers had to confess that the hints for their behavior behavior behavior be be- havior were helpful and probably probably probably ably will lead to a better understanding understanding understanding un un- un- un between these particular particular particular par par- mothers and girls Any such understanding tightens home ties equalizes the levels of or orthe the two generations and has a good effect for all time So my congratulations congratulations lations to the girls of Portland's Lincoln high school These briefly are the rules for mothers s They must give up their gushy manners when meeting the girls' girls new friends They must take telephone messages more respectfully respectfully respectfully respect respect- fully and never eavesdrop They must avoid partiality toward other members of ot the family especially younger brothers They must refrain from excessive demonstrations of ot affection af affection affection af- af in public and from praise that is intended only to build up a n competitive spirit And lastly they must not attempt to use current slang All these seem to W me to be good suggestions Nothing is b more embarrassing embarrassing em em- to a girl who takes bles her friendships seriously than to have her mother all coyness coyne effusion and playful hints This Is one way to destroy the daughters daughter's Initiative ve veIn in making new friends and create creat in her a shyness and awkwardness awkward awkward- ness she didn't start with The rule for the telephone messages messages messages mes mes- sages and the eavesdropping ought to hold good for everyone young and old Praising one girl in the hope of improving another is la an annoying custom if only because the listener sees through it and is bored by it to the depth of her being Jean has such lovely manners says Mother slyly Dear me only 15 five 15 five months older than you are darling and such uch composure and such lovely manners Mother Irks Daughter Phyllis listening can hardly keep from shouting Oh shut up Mothers Mother's praise of her schoolmate isn't going to improve her manners the careful example Mother sets sets' her will not have much effect But let Phyllis' Phyllis aunt from New York or orsome orsome orsome some movie queen assume that niceness niceness niceness nice- nice ness of ot action and speech that consideration consideration consideration con con- and gentleness which we call nice manners and Phyllis is suddenly a transformed girl while Mother com complacently observes that at last her admonitions are having some effect As for tor public demonstrations of affection and showing baby pictures pictures pictures pic pic- tures these are among the thousand thousand thousand thou thou- sand things that embarrass girls because because because be be- cause they make them conspicuous To direct attention to the young Isto is isto isto to destroy their own desperate ef efforts efforts ef- ef forts torts to be like the herd to be just one of the group But dont don't be deceived by this par par- rule Girls love real T r b r 1 Z n r r Jt l lr Th The ton son on will go elsewhere t. t UNDERSTANDING Ordinarily parents regard the opinions of their teenaged teenaged teenaged teen- teen aged children impassively They listen with mock seriousness seriousness seriousness ser ser- while the youngsters youngsters youngsters young young- attempt to explain their viewpoints and oftentimes oftentimes oftentimes often often- times dismiss their ideas as childish immature prattle Successful understand i ing n g parents learn by listening A group of high school schoolgirls schoolgirls girls who had been on the receiving end of helpful advice advice ad ad- vice turned the tables and offered their mothers some valuable h hints i iii n t s regarding their behaviour tion from their own people and love loveto to know w that they were adored as babies Only they dont don't want the playful the exaggerated the affected displays of teasing devotion that some mothers seem to feel is the way to treat them in public Of aU all qualities young sons and daughters most appreciate sincerity sulcer- sulcer sincer sincer- ity real ky-real real political talk from Dad real sensible cooperation from Mother Some fathers never speak to their growing children except teasingly and youth suffers cruelly cruelly cruelly cruel cruel- ly under teasing while some mothers reserve baby talk until they meet their daughter and a 1 group of or her friends Even worse and completely inexcusable inexcusable inexcusable in in- excusable Is the delusion of Mother and Dad that they can chatter in that strange and changeable language language language lan lan- guage current school slang Nothing is more evasive more subtle more delicately graded than this argot and to hear it used or applied in incorrectly incorrectly incorrectly in- in correctly ca causes es the most acute anguish anguish anguish an an- to the young soul Anybody's mother is stamped at once as ns an absolute idiot as she light-heartedly light babbles a tongue with which she is entirely unfamiliar Favoritism Is Unwise As for tor the remaining rule it is sad to find it among these seriocomic seriocomic seriocomic serio serio- comic ones for it is far more basic and far tar less easily corrected To feel teel that there is favoritism at home is to have your young youn philosophy upset in a way from which it never may recover Too many mothers adore and spoil the boy shelter him from his fathers father's criticism and save s save ve him from Crom the results of his own mistakes while maintaining all the while an extremely severe attitude toward the girls This has a doubly bad effect it effect it weakens the boy and it causes his sisters to like him less than they otherwise would Also it causes the g girls to dislike and resent resent resent re re- re- re sent their mother It is only fair to remind these mothers who worship their sons sons- that their real satisfaction in later years will come from the daughters The daughters will bring life lie into the house the son will go elsewhere to I find his girL Mother always will be bewelcome bewelcome bewelcome welcome in the daughters' daughters homes but not in that of the son on except in rare cases Justice and affection for the girls now and even a little extra spoiling is a good investment |