Show I Fun to fo Stay Home A drive In the tUe country has Its perils per per- ils us The parade of ot sappy billboards I is bound to affect your nervous 1 I tern tem And there is always a lunkI lunk- lunk I head on the road who will send you I to the nearest hospital babbling that he had the right of way I Nothing can top a home cooked meal The cuisine in swanky spots I Is usually tangy but a glance at nt the steep fees for food is bound to give anyone not on the columnist cuff Indigestion Locking paws with a cutIe pie or orI I I patting her knees under a cafe table taI ta table ta- ta ble is a popular form of recreation Yet the privacy of the home provides provides pro pro- I vides the coziest atmosphere for tor cu cu- Besides you can be arrested ar or- rested for playing Post Office InI in I I public I There Is plenty of danger in night clubs The air is usually foul toul the music Is brassy and the emcees emcees' inept cavorting is invariably piti pitt- ful Making goo-goo goo eyes at the doll dolli i i across the room is more perilous than smoking hop She might have havea a friend boy-friend who packs a wallop like lIJe Joe Louis Or what Is worse worse she she might know a good lawyer Traveling has many advantages but the scenery is never as s 5 compelling compelling com corn as It appears In travelogues All you are certain to acquire while romping around the globe Is an acute case of ot homesickness Strolling In the street isn't all its it's I cracked up to be Mendicants clutter clutter clutter ter every block and you risk running running running run run- ning into bores youre you're trying to duck Then there are the sadistic motorists motorIsts motorists motor motor- who have declared war on ev ev- every every ery cry pedestrian The politicos have tipped their mitt for tor 1946 Its It's going to be reckless racism racism pitting pitting the Poles versus the Russians the Russians the Irish versus versus versus ver ver- sus the British etcetera Cutting Cutting Cutting Cut Cut- ting up Europe's quarrels to fan up ballots Is what too many office- office seekers try to peddle as ns Americanism Americanism Americanism Amer As the lady In State of the Union observes I thought the Poles voted In Poland Faces In the Dimont Judge Ferdinand Ferdinand Ferdinand Fer Fer- dinand Pecora Bernard Gimbel John Gunther and reporters trying to decipher the Mayors Mayor's closing proclamation to Sherman Billingsley Billingsley Billings- Billings ley icy at the Stork Club All AU I know said the famed host Is that this Is the first time I ever got hit by an anatomic anatomic anatomic atomic bomb I Keenan Wynn just in from getting caught in a St. St spots spot's free for all Jane Wyman and her groom Ronald Reagan impressing local with their pleasantries John Steinbeck the writ book I er trying out his Spanish on the Madrid Havana-Madrid crowd Lovely Alexis Smith elbowing her way through the Radio City signa tour tour- The Joe Cottens at the Carnival a gay spot Augustin Ducan who attracted sugary notices notices no no- tices for his performance as the blind parent in Lute Song He Is blind Sallies In Our Alley Peter Donald Don Don- ald aid he was among the recent White House entertainers told it at the Singapore last night Margaret OBrien O'Brien the moppet asked the President Was the White House like this when America was born No said the President In those days they didn't have rich young ladies ladles such as you to taxes At Sardis Sardi's Mrs John pay Wild Wildberg erg remarked Money Is worthless ess today Unless said her producer groom you have none Buddy Lester says that with the shirt shortage shortage-it it Is ing lug how many people are still j willing willIng will will- Ing lag to risk losing theirs in Wall St. St Manhattan Murals The swan in Central Park which accepts food only from males refuses males refuses to come near the gals The lingerie shop on which calls its daring dar dar- very ing The Lincoln the only hotel in town The that plays Negro orchestras Embassy's powder room attendant at at- attendant at- at who owns a room 24 man man- mansion sion aion uptown The Funnies Lincoln was restIng resting restIng rest- rest Ing In lit a hotel lobby after a campaign speech when some of the villagers gathered there One Mr Lincoln remarked your speech good but there was were some points quite beyond my reach Abe chuckled Im sorry for you I once had a dog that had the same trouble with fleas Howe Quotation Make l Marksmanship a woman E. E she he is no more mare polite mad and than Vincent a man Churchin's Churchill's personality Is like banners an army With your first get impulse Is to out bie Beautiful ot of its way M. M B Gree- Gree of Young people are accIdents accidents ac- ac n nature But beautiful old People ar are arc wo Works o of art ard I Its It's N N. N Coward Cow Cow- Coward shocked by surprising honesty how many are deceit AI t D D. D and so few by Runy Runyon nearest thing n The thing to nor a mother perpetual m motion is ls wIth a child I |