Show Kathleen Norris Says The Governess Wife Bell Dell Syndicate Features r t t ri NJ LiLt 4 t ff 1 1 i I q 4 r- r 1 l t l v p. e I t l r p 1 G I It t I asked to see his checkbook the other day and the young man had bad to explain a few details to met me I By KATHLEEN NORRIS ONT marry a man with DONT DON'T the idea that it will be beI I easy to change him It It never works they dont don't change They may develop qualities and tastes that surprise sur sur- su surprise prise you you you-you you may find the theman theman theman man thought a stay-at- stay home likes to go out every night or that the man you thought a night-club night favorite never wants to leave his own fireside Such surprises as that are the very commonplaces commonplaces common common- places of marriage But not changes The Jealous sweetheart will continue to be jealous Jealous jealous Jeal jeal- ous the lazy man who is always changing Jobs will go on shifting the lad who drinks too much and gambles gambles gambles gam gam- bles away his money will go right righton on drinking and gambling The other day I had a talk with a bride to bride to be It struck me as extremely extremely ex ex- ominous and Ive I've been wondering wondering wondering won won- dering ever since if the promised husband has any idea of 01 the training training training train train- ing in store for him All the conditions condi of their marriage seem to be ideal good social standing old family family family fam fam- ily friendships comfortable income and a most attractive apartment I ready and waiting But the brides bride's attitude is not so promising She was buying gloves with one of her bridesmaids as companion I and chattered quite freely of her plans I Tom it seems has to o make busness business business busi bus ness trips to New York now and then and likes to make them by plane but Sharon has stopped that I Im deathly afraid of planes she explained and I put my foot down Dont Let Precedents Start It also appeared that she had been quite frank about Toms Tom's mother Tom wanted to stop ofT off at Santa Barbara and see his mother on his honeymoon trip to Mexico Sharon said no Once you start that sor sort t of thing it establishes a precedent she told me Duck shooting was mentioned mentioned men men- tinned Tom is a famous shot I think that young mans man's duck hunting hunting hunting hunt hunt- ing days are over Sharon murmured mur inured confidently eyeing a n beautiful beautiful ful glove on her beautiful hand Hes going to be the best best- trained husband in town she said happily His friends wont won't know v him I asked to see his checkbook k the other day and the young ma man n had to explain quite a few details detail s to me Dont Don't you think she appealed appealed ap ape pealed to me that the time t to o train them is in the very beginning begin ning fling I was too stunned to reply If sh she e had been talking of an pu puppy puppy pup pup- p ep py it might have been Intelligible but Tom is six feet of husky vital assertive human being with a fine fin e mind a fine education and a fin fine e war wu record She paid for her gloves glove s and went her happy way and I went mine min with a feeling of intense e pity for Tom I There are ways of course i in n which wives can exert influence th the e i little wa ways way's ways s of neatness and consideration consider anon atlon and promptness and thrift But t ts those those occasions when suggestions suggestion s are In order come only now an anthen and d then and should be handled naturally naturally naturally na na- with affection and tact Men Me n change and women do too in a happy marriage but they change chang e without knowin knowing it the miracle a of ot f growing trust and companionship p and improvement is never visible 1 and certainly never cut dried cut and drie d before ever the marriage takes take s place So I have great fears tears for the marriage mar of Sharon and Tom and feel fee 1 Ii reasonably pure lure that he will grow grov restless under this organized control control con con- and break away from Irom her herH herH J c j I a t I He H may never teats leave his fireside MAKING HIM OVER W Women omen have tried man many many matlY times to reform their husbands to make them over but brit it has rarely beet been success success- ful f Men fen cling stubbornly to their ways resistant to appeals and pressures This is especially true in regards to personal habits habits hab hab- habits its likes and ami dislikes Sometimes Some Some- times where a man matI realizes in hI his heart that he is is at fault he will with his wife's aid struggle struggle struggle gle to change his ways When be hc is convinced that he is right however he will seldom yield at least not flOt permanently Miss Norris in today's article tells about a bride who is is starting start start- ing nS ing oU off ff wrong and is is heading for f or trouble She is is quite attractive attractive attractive tive and intelligent but she is is not keen enough to realize that trying to make over oter a big successful successful suc suc- well well- educated young man is is fatal to happy married life She doesn't want hint him to trat trav travel el by air or go hunting bunting or visit visit visit vis vis- it his mother in California and that's just a start she intends to train him bim in her ways o of f thinking and acting Sooner or later Tom is going to rebel and he is going to tell Sharon bluntly that he be intends to have baze his own way in personal mat matters Sharon may bristle up tip and the quarrel that leads to the divorce court will have bave be be- gun If she has learned an anything anything any any- thing of human nature by that time however she will give up tip tr trying to change her hus hits band No girl should shoud marry a man unless s she likes him as he is Sharon apparently apparently ap cep likes Tom only for certain possibilities she sees in him an and d I if Tom ever suspects that he ha has s married a governess and trainer rather than a wife he will be in in Tactful Handling Sometimes after years of marrIage marriage mar mar- this sense of smug superiority superior superior- ity breaks out in a wife Why na not t have that gray paper in the halls the husband suggests Because it i t would be perfectly ridiculous dear says says the wife Why would i it be ridiculous Wasn't our of old d room at home that way Our Ow r old room was simply hideous th the e wife ret returned smoothly and everyone everyone everyone ev ev- knows you have no taste darling One wife I know merely smiles smile s and listens when her husband holds hold s forth at breakfast about something g he likes or doesn't like in domestic domestic domes tic matters She smiles listens with wit h faintly raised eyebrows and ver very y slightly shakes her head for lh the C benefit of her daughters Just as soon as he goes he her r expression tells them well ll fix i it t all our way Very few men no matter how hog v abrupt or minded absent or absorbed ab treat their wives to this thi s sort of arrogant rudeness Instead d there appears to be a general impression impression im im- that Mommy does kno know w best about things So some of them the m alienate their own families give u up P old friends and comfortable habits pay uncomplainingly for tor furniture s and wallpaper they dont don't really like for long years and years But t there comes a breaking point an and d wives might as well be on the watch h not to reach it To try to change a aman man than is usually to lose him entirely |