Show Offered for Your Reading Enjoyment Under the Sponsorship of the TELLURIDE TELL POWER C COMPANY ANY L 4 See Here 9 vate Hargrove o ariot WN RV C E. E I CHAPTER XIII Well he said hemming and hawing a little three stripes means hes he's just a plain buck sergeant Six stripes is a master sergeant Im I'm a supply sergeant That's two grades above a buck sergeant and one grade below a master sergeant Im I'm expecting to be a master sergeant in 15 in a month or so That's as high as you ou can get I didn't say anything for a while just sat there looking like I was letting it soak in Then I asked him real like calm-like and ignorant How many stripes does a private first class have So help me he looked like he was going to choke for a while Then he came back with a snappy answer In a flash Well he said first class privates privates privates vates have one stripe just like us supply sergeants only their stripe it is upward bottom-upward from rom ours Their stripes point down Well sir I thought Id I'd die I almost popped tr trying ng to keep from rom laughing but I kept a straight face Then I said Things s sure sure re have changed since I was in the Army Back then three or four tour years ears ago supply sergeants were just plain buck sergeants and first-class first prIvates privates vates were the only one stripe one stripe men Yeah he said sort of ot weak weak- like time changes a lot of ot things That was all he had to say He looked sort of foolish and pulled the cord to get off at the next stop So there was another bull session session ses ses- sion ion shot to hell Maybe it was for lor the best though I didn't have a chance against a fellow with that much talent A AI I ran out of at cigarettes this afternoon afternoon after after- noon near my old cooks' cooks battery so soI soI soI I thought Id I'd drop in hi on First Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant Ser Ser- geant Goldsmith who smokes the same came brand that I do Sergeant Goldsmith is the old type of ot top sergeant sergeant ser ser- geant with a heart of ot GI shoe leather and a voice that would put the stoutest bugle to shame Great gods and little paychecks he railed Look what's loose again What's the latest little man or arent aren't reporters supposed to know The only news Ive I've heard today I told him helping m myself seU to a coffin coffin cof cot fin n nail from rom his desk is that they're sending all the first sergeants sergeants sergeants ser ser- in the Replacement Center to Panama for tor lard-labor lard service de de- Polish your our brass and you might make act acting ng corporal before before before be be- fore the wars war's over Oh its it's lovely to run Into an old top sergeant who cant can't put you on kitchen police when you sass back at him Well son said Goldie any anytime anytime anytime time they need an instructor in hi coal hauling or fertilizer pitching Ill I'll write out a recommendation for you We were going to give you D a specialists specialist's specIalists specIalist's specialists specialist's rating In cavalry sanitation before you left leU us You haven't got a light have you I asked taking the lighted cigarette from rom his hand I dumped three more fags from rom his pack into my hand and stuffed them into my shirt pocket Our photographer smokes I explained The e first sergeant over In your battery tells me he said that you spend so BO much time tune on KP that the boys boy all think youre you're the mess sergeant ser ser- geant How are things over here herc I asked him now that Ive I've left an ann J you have to get somebody else to todo todo todo do your reading and writing Youre a sweet little lad Hargrove Hargrove Har Har- We really do grove he purred I ft R 6 lM 4 G h I 5 r rI i a aThe I The basket had in it a cheer cheerful Cui little little lit nt- tle tie blaze bright enough to take action action action ac ac- tion photographs on a a moonless I night miss you here When you were here I never had to worry about where I IWas IWas IWas Was Going to get another man hen there was a stovepipe to be cleaned or a street to be swept Now I have to go and search around around- search mind you you for for someone who who's s 3 been a bad little boy Never had aa that trouble when you were here bete l Sergeant I told him propping my feet on his wastebasket you never miss the water waler until its it's gone under the bridge This battery owes owesa a lot to me Look out there at that grass growing in front of the orderly room That grass wouldn't be there much less be that green green if if I hadn't spent time and lab labor r sprinkling sprin sprin- sprin kling klieg it with fertilizer And think how much cleaner the windows were when I was here to wash every everyone one of ot them every week Ill I'll bet you haven't had a clean floor in the bat tery since I laid down my mop to Hows sergeant making makIn out with his grocery budget I asked Trying to feed you on n two forty cents a day The last time I saw him he was working out plans to feed you on Buncombe County turnip greens or pay you to eat at atthe atthe atthe the Service Club Oh Ob that he said Ive saved so much on cigarettes since you left the battery that thal I could afford to eat uptown now if 11 I wanted to And lets let's leave any any ny remarks about Buncombe Buncombe Buncombe Bun Bun- combe County out of this And lets let's leave your our feet out of my waste waste- basket S From now on I must deny myself one of the fundamental rights and joys of mankind I must quit bumming bum ming matches from those near and dear to me that me-that that is is if it I want them to remain near and dear to me Whenever I ask anyone around Cener Center Center Cen- Cen ter er Headquarters Headquarters even even or Bishop or Bushemi for Bushemi-for for a n 1 match I get one of ot two answers both of which are getting very tiresome by now I hear either the mater matter mat mat- ter er Has your fire gone out or Just light your cigarette on one of our conflagrations there should be a small arson in yonder corner Since I am a patient and longsuffering longsuffering longsuffering long- long suffering child I make no scathing remarks in return for these jaded witticisms I merely shrug my frail rail shoulders pathetically and seek greener pastures It isn't so bad bad their heir refusing the match The worst part of it is the reminder of ot an incident incIdent in- in Ident which might well be forgot forgot- ten The incident is of ot no consequence consequence consequence conse conse- quence but it might as well come off my chest Being a asIa slave ve to the despoiler of human health and well being the cigarette I still have a fondness for foran foran foran an occasional switch to a pipe I dont don't especially enjoy the taste of ot pipe tobacco and I dont don't believe even the most avid pipe smoker especially cares for it Most of ot them like me merely like the feel of ot a pipe in their mouths and the dignity and solemnity a pipe gives them when they punctuate their conversations conversations conversations conversa conversa- by Jabbing the air with it Smoking a pipe only occasionally I still have not become overly proficient proficient pro pro- at keeping the little things burning When I buy a can of ot tobacco tobacco tobacco to to- bacco I 1 buy a five-cent five box of ot country matches with it Half Hal my smoke is tobacco the other half halt is Georgia pine smoke from the match match- sticks I was busy today typing out a astory astory astory story and I had lit my pipe for tor about the twenty-second twenty time I threw the match into the wastebasket and forgot forgot for tor- got all about the whole thing I was absorbed in my work I noticed by degrees that our office of ot- fice flee was becoming lighter and warmer I noted the fact tact with a arIch arich arich rich feeling of comfort but no great interest In hi finding out the cause It wasn't until I reached for another match to light that pipe again that I noticed my wastebasket The thing had in it a cheerful little blaze bright enough to take action photographs photographs photographs photo photo- graphs on a moonless night There was nothing to get excited about I told the remainder of the public relations staff the sergeant majors major's corps of assistants and the filing department I nonchalantly put my ray foot toot into the basket and started stamping out the fire The thing would have worked too except except ex ex- cepl that the length of at my foot tool was greater than the diameter of at the wastebasket The foot toot stuck and I could not stamp Corporal Sager of ot Plans and Training leaped to the rescue pried the foot root from the basket grabbed I Ithe the basket and sped away to the water cooler I followed him and I of water poured myself a cup excitement still saw no cause for To the b bystanders bystanders' catcalls unseemly unseemly unseemly un un- un- un of and accusations seemly laughter and a fatherly ear arson I turned a 1 quieting g voice I explained patiently patient patient- ly that setting fire to wastebaskets was an ancient and honored pastime world I told them In the newspaper best newspaper men that one of at the North Carolina has ever seen seen seen- seen Un un uncle editor edi edi- city former Dickson cle dc John used News-used to set his nis tor of ot the at least twice a wastebasket on fire filiC cigarettes or burnIng burn burn- week by tossing Ing tog matches into It It was a o mark sign tHat a aman aman aman of at certain industry a man was wrapped up In his work th i incident has es r 1 for lor me a new reputation of ot caret carelessness and absent minded n ness ss one which I do not deserve I shall be hooted at from the windows win win- dows of ot the Service Club even green rookies will snicker when I dodder odder down Headquarters Street It does no good to point out Bushemi Bu Bu- who often walks out of ot the mess ess hall with his dirty dishes In his hands or who puts n new blades odes in his razor without removing removing removing re re- re- re moving the old ones and thereby gives his face the old bacon treatment Nothing does any good Whenever I 1 try to 10 defend myself I get deeper In the mess Idleness and soft living have made my comrades a bunch of drawing- drawing room hecklers Boy wouldn't I like to get these babies out on maneuvers maneu- maneu maneu maneuvers vers with me met Il A AMaury Maury Sher my old buddy when we were together in the student cooks cooks' battery had haci been on an extended extended extended ex ex- tended furlough Before he returned I had left on a three-day three pass for Charlotte We had not got together for two or three weeks so I went over to his battery to look him up The battery street was almost empty the mess-hall mess door was was locked The mess sergeant was nowhere nowhere nowhere no no- where to be seen Finally I found a soldier who had seen Sergeant Sher SherIn In his room so I looked for him there The sergeant lay on his lazy back backon on a stilted bunk in his cadre room reading Dorothy Parker The windows windows win win- dows of the room had been equipped with flimsy green curtains and partially partially partially par par- deflated holiday balloons flattered fluttered fluttered flut flat against them On the wall above the bed hung a small oil all painting of a forest with an Icy white mountain in the background A writing table had been Installed and on a shelf shell in over his bunk were a reading lamp a small radio and anda a neat array of ot books I stood there surveying the place for a while What Wha t in the sweet name nam of military hardship have you got here I asked him All Ali this place needs is a couple of Morris chairs and a sign reading What is home without a mother Beginning to look nice aint it he said Just a few minor improvements improvements im here and there Know where I can pick up a small upright piano at a good price I looked over the room again and my eye fell tell on the resplendent forest forest for for- I I est scene you get this canvas knickknack Its It's an original isn't it It aint nothing else but he said Painted by a friend of mine up in Columbus Guy knocks them off like that in about twenty minutes How do you like it Aside from the fact tact that the waterfall waterfall water water- fall is a little frothy and the mountain moun moun- tain taro looks like something from a advertisement it would I Ido do credit to any mess sergeants sergeant's room in the whole Replacement Center You didn't notice this he said lifting lilting himself lazily from rom the bunk From the table he took an ordinary ordinary- looking beer can with an extra lid on onit it John Bull Beer he said Cant buy it anywhere except in my family's fam tam ilys ily's restaurant n iH Ohio and Penn sylvania He lifted the top lid revealing a businesslike cigarette lighter I took the can struck the flint and a roaring blaze leaped at me It burned merrily away Not bad huh Good advertising scheme It should come in handy I told him anytime the furnace goes blah That little conflagration would I heat hent a whole barracks in three minutes minutes minutes min min- utes flat He twisted the dial of at his radio and a pitched high feminine wail wall bounced off oft the far wall Ive been listening to the opera most of the thc afternoon The afternoon The Magic Flute What happened to the magic skillet skillet let I asked How come youre you're lying around here instead of at bustling about your kitchen tickling kItchen tickling the pal pal- 1 1 C J nave Have you any last words before I pass KP HP on you the sergeant asked I ales ates of at the men with your culinary delights as they say in the Army cooks' cooks manual No supper tonight he explained airily Were just changing cycles and there aint nobody here herc but the noncommissioned officers like my my- self sell I told them to go and eat next door This is the life little man He yawned Nothing to do nothing to worry about Just lie He around read and listen to the opera Sans souci French without say-without care as we PH ra raThe t looked over his The first sergeant glasses lasses with a rather unpleasant g significantly sigy sig gleam in his eyes He glanced at the top of ot my head so soI soI soI The first sergeant sergeant ser ser- I removed my cap geant adjusted himself in his chan chou lear d his ills throat I |