Show kathleen norris says bays dont try to live your husbands life mell ibell syndicate service 4 41 I 1 resent at 39 being relegated relegate to 0 the a position 0 of a sort of superior servant enta a person who soho must accept als ali careless care rl ess announcements and goodbyes by KATHLEEN NORRIS A PE IE you a person or the A IA echo of some other person this is an important question where the happiness of some women is concerned for unless she checan can answer it 1 I am myself no woman can be happy for each one of us brings with him or forms and cultivates in the early years a complicated mass of likes and dislikes prejudices and inclinations and it is the encouragement coura gement of some of these and the weeding out of others that makes that baffling I 1 fascinating cina ting thing called personality 11 no mitter matter how rich and beautiful and socially prominent a girl is if she chooses to adopt rowdy manners use vulgar language show no consideration for the tha feelings of others defy the code of dignity and self control if not of actual morality she Is not a gentlewoman even though the wealth and power of her family go back a dozen generations becoming a laly lady and by the same law any girl who studies fineness in every way in what she reads says does a and nd Is can raise herself from the humblest huni blest or least fortunate of backgrounds and eventually be recognized for what she Is a lady any girl or woman who feels she Is dull uninteresting te left behind by more fascinating cina ting rivals need only face the situation honestly to find the cure all about her easily within reach and costing nothing it may take her a few years to accustom herself to the necessity of a dally daily bath manicuring hairbrush hair brush ing immaculate dressing carefully accurate speech abstention from excesses of all sorts for the table glutton Is an even less pleasant sight eight than the excessive drinker or smoker gentlewomen dont giggle over questionable stories they dont eagerly retail scandal they dont laugh loudly when someone falls off his chair or mispronounces a word culture and fineness are essential to a lady but the qualities of heart are just as important as those of mind husband Is too popular there are problems however that come even to toa a fine and strong and cultured woman a woman who Is her husbands equal if not superior tn in intellect and soul and when they arise the answer comes in the form of a question are you a person or the echo of some other person A letter from a woman in augusta maine illustrates what I 1 mean we have been married 17 years sh she writes we have three fine children ch a boy of 15 twin girls of 12 alt alf my husband is a good steady successful man extremely popular with everyone perhaps especially Pec ally lally with men I 1 mean that he belongs to golf and town clubs lunches with associates every day downtown and always has pleasant adventures tn in friendship when business as it frequently does docs calls him away for a few days or a week at a time went through ilard hard times when our boy fred was about four and the girls tiny babies hard times crime came al lost his job and we lost the little home we were buying we asked my father who lives in california for a month and we five managed on that for nearly three years we had two tw 0 rooms the babies milk alone come came to 10 lo 10 a month and it if I 1 could have afforded it a nervous breakdown believe me I 1 1 4 41 imp L are you a person or the echo of some other I 1 erson pauline manage all quito 1 I ce from any thought of joining you or any resentment because no does not HUSBAND this wile wife and mother issues ats an appeal peat to miss norris lor for advice on at the I 1 problem problem of getting her husband husland ba bok into the family fold other lvisa ui 18 a model husband he to spends moll of his time with others offers socially social ty and in business asking to be left 61 ut of of la family nilly socia social life cathleen wv gives the reason and suggests suggest it a remedy would have had one in those dark days I 1 did everything at one time washing 70 dadles a day as 88 well as the entire family wash and even als alls collars and cuffs in 1034 1934 my father died leaving me a few thou sands that I 1 immediately invested in two small houses living in one renting the other and taking two boarders to make ends meet al had a job then but when I 1 broke down and went tor for 10 weeks to the tha hospital we had to borrow from that time however things steadily improved we sold both houses five years ago at double what we had paid for them in the depression and al went from one promotion to another and our hard bard times were over now we have a nice home two small cars and I 1 have a good kitchen helper alt alf a stranger but far more serious to me than anything that those difficult years brought the letter goes on is the fact that for three years now my husband has not shared our lives at all he is amiable appreciative of good meals and home but dines at the club fians fil ns some customer down downtown arks aka late at the loftice and afterwards drops in on some bringe bridge game makes engagements for all day sun day often tor for saturday night as well and tells me it if I 1 make any plan for a family affair or picnic to go ahead by all means but not to count on him now I 1 resent at 39 being relegated to the position ot of a sort 8 ort of 0 f superior S u servant a person who must accept als ala careless announcements and good bys by a I 1 am a m a college col lege grad aate my family Is of a higher rating than his and but for my fathers generosity I 1 dont know how we could have weathered our hard ha rd times time yet I 1 cant beg back my husban s affection and company the situation Is 13 changing me in into to a brood wretched woman and I 1 wish you could give me an answer to it make blake sell self an interesting in te resting individual the answer Is as I 1 said before Is a question are you a person or the echo of some other person pauline al for all his selfishness and obtuseness Is evidently a person he has found a great deal in his we life to amuse and occupy him all he asks Is that you do the same with health home sufficient income car with three fine growing gro cinq children you certainly should have no trouble trouble you dont don speak of friends but certainly you have friends if you could manage club days gardening days hours for reading walking plans with the children all quite free from any thought of als joining you or any resentment because he does not you would old yourself immersed in so full and happy a life that nine hundred and ninety out of every thousand women in the world might well envy you keep that son close to you you wont have a mothers frequent difficulties in paternal jealousy join the girls tri in their homework and invite a few chums in to study with them your real trouble is that for years you held al in happy monopoly you and he were inseparable in interests te east rests but that never lasts unbrokenly it can be regained it will be regained a as soon no as A aljean realizes that you are 11 just as 03 bus and completo complete and interesting and individual an entity as he is ia |