Show kathleen norris says when your husband falls in love nell syndicate service f q V j 1 n ali G also working there Is a wort daughters attitude Is that as nob odys hap bread an very alad uns crup I 1 under th e pr besent arrangement why not he has my husband com is all up and try the new one plemely bewitched by KATHLEEN NORRIS HEN a man after WHEN twenty years of marriage gets tired of his W wife ife neglects her hurts and insults her and openly admits that he wants to be freed to marry another woman what is the wife to do this a nw problem but the shock and helplessness of it make it seem eternally new to every woman to whom it comes sometimes this shock lc coming to her at a bad physical moment almost upsets her reason for a time such a danger seems to me very close to emily baker who writes me from a big massachusetts manufacturing town emily will be fortunate it if she can hold to her reason and keep her balance in the months ahead IF she can I 1 think I 1 can promise her happiness and serenity when this time has gone by A quarter century of work emily Is 50 she has been married 27 years she has a married daughter living in the west a married son living near her and a young daughter and son still at home she married for love worked hard as a young wife and mother never had a servant until a few years ago for a whole quarter century she washed cooked dusted made beds dressed babies served meals helped school children with their lessons packed d picnic baskets trimmed christmas trees tom always came first with me says her tear stained letter dinner every night included something that daddy especially liked the children must be ba respectful considerate of him when he be was tired they must remember his birthday they all love him dearly as indeed I 1 do door or did my younger son now called by the draft is closely devoted to his mother but my unmarried daughter allda thinks her father can do no wrong and he Is doing wrong now my good patient generous husband of a few years ago alida works in his office and also working there is a woman some 10 years older than she divorced with a boy of five very beautiful and lous she has my husband com plemely bewitched feels old useless he began by being irritable and unreasonable with me and impatient because I 1 was so often nervous and sensitive I 1 feel myself to be old gray useless and homely these days and what I 1 see in my mirror only confirms the impressions pres but I 1 nee need d tenderness so and the security of my homel and those are just the things he proposes to take away he areis is handsome rosy strong and young at 53 and seems years younger than 1 I tom wants a divorce ile he wants to bring his young wife here and have her keep house for him and allda alida when don goes to camp I 1 in n june and I 1 go west to visit my M Y daughter when her baby comes he says I 1 am to go to reno stay with betty as long as I 1 like visit anywhere I 1 choose I 1 cannot ex press to you the forlornness of this prospect without him and without any one of the children who have been all my world tor for so many years I 1 ani am not a baby I 1 am not pitying myself but under no circumstances cum stances could I 1 compete in beauty and charm with a fresh girl of 28 who Is flattering battering natt ering tom to the point when he Is a complete fool over her allda alida is the sensible practical outspoken type her attitude is 13 that LOST AFFECTION what would you do I 1 if your hus bond band fell in love with another woman would ou give hint him up or would you live a heartbreaking heart breaking existence knowing he no longer cared for you kathleen norris offers a far happier solution to a woman who has to lace face this problem alter after 27 years of married life she loves both parents but that as joan li Is madly in love with daddy and daddy with joan and as no blodys happy under the present arrangement ran gement why not break it all up and try the new one when I 1 cry cri about this and I 1 cant help crying she says oh now mother men hate women to cryl brace up all come out right you want to hold daddy if he wanted to be tree free would you 1 I dont know what I 1 want shame and pain and memories of the days when my babies and husband loved and needed me are so mixed up in my heart that I 1 seem halt half crazy will you tell me what to do must I 1 surrender everything these years have meant to me to play the game the path to follow my dear emily playing the game in this case means continuing in your own home and your own life ignoring what you can ot of insult or hurt enduring the rest keeping yourself as calm and friendly as if none of these storms was raging over you and showing to an ungrateful man the patience and kindness that may be obtained in only one way the way of constant prayer what tom Js is doing thinking asking and planning is not your im immediate M e concern what YOU do think and plan most emphatically is see that you make the most of yourself in every way even a middle aged woman can be a pleasant sight if 11 she is freshly and appropriately dressed even gray hair Is charming if it is brushed to silky brightness and trimly braided or curled your interest in books current events radio programs gardens and lower flower arrangements the supervision of meals the details of club or hospital prison or charity or orphanage responsibilities will reflect itself in a brighter outlook on your own fortunate life brush aside the absurdity of a man of 53 embarking upon a new love adventure tell allda alida you will not discuss it and assume once and for all the dignity to which your useful and beloved years entitle you years of harvest time ahead by all means visit the married daughter and welco ne the grandchild make it a long visit make much of toms perhaps they will name the baby tor for tom write toni tom reports ask allda tor for news of the household in short proceed as nearly ahyou as you can along normal lines another few months or a year at most will see your physical and mental crisis ended and you will be in for years of health and activity and high spirits the fifties are wonderful years to a wo woman man like yourself who has earned the right to spend her leisure in the ways she likes best they are a golden harvest time but to weather this particular time you must steel yourself to bear your husbands husband a selfish inconsiderateness he will come back and you will forgive hin hinl L and an d if the crystal vase of those thos e early years of trust and devotion has been broken it Is for you to show tile the world that the cracks very serious that they could be mended and that you meant it when you said way back in 1914 for better or tor for worse |