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Show A2 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, December 30, 2008 The LIGHTER SIDE Dazed News Off The Beaten Path Slice of Life ‘Old Year Regrets’ James L. Davis “Happy Happy Happy New Year!” Don’t you just hate it when you come across people who are so excited about something that they have to repeat one, or several words, as if by repeating themselves their enthusiasm will somehow spontaneously be transferred to you? The only enthusiasm I gain from such encounters is my enthusiasm to either punch someone in the nose or make a hasty retreat. I usually pick the latter, but the former seems far more gratifying. I find it particularly annoying when incredibly, incredibly annoying people tell me to have a happy, happy, happy New Year. They annoy me because I do not have a Happy New Year and there are several reasons why I don’t. The first, and perhaps the most serious reason that I do not have a Happy New Year, let alone a Happy Happy Happy New Year is because I always spend the last couple of days of the old year thinking about all of my imperfections and the things that I should be doing or should not be doing. For that reason by the time the New Year rolls around I generally just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep. Usually around 6:30 on New Year’s Eve. I started my Old Year Regrets, which is what I have just prior to my New Year’s Resolutions, the day after Christmas. I started considering my Old Year Regrets while standing in front of the refrigerator trying to decide if I wanted to eat leftover ham and au gratin potatoes for breakfast or leftover homemade chili with crackers. I decided to eat both with a little fruit salad and a slice of chocolate cream pie as a chaser. I ate all of those things for breakfast because it was the day after Christmas and the refrigerator was full to overflowing with leftovers. It was my duty to lend a hand in taking care of some of those leftovers before they went bad, so I gave it my best. While I was eating ham and au gratin potatoes with chili and crackers the Old Year Regrets settled upon me and I knew that once again I was going to have to make a New Year’s Resolution to change my diet and lose some weight. I had told myself that there was absolutely no reason to wait until New Years to begin such a resolution on Christmas night, so I woke early to go downstairs and hit the weights while everyone else was asleep. I had only been opening the refrigerator to get a bottle of water and ended up eating ham and au gratin potatoes with chili and crackers. I’m not sure exactly how that happened, but it was tasty. Somewhere in the course of my meal I decided that while I didn’t have to wait until New Years to begin my New Year’s Resolutions, I probably did need to wait until all of the leftovers were gone. It has occurred to me that with the sheer number of goodies that arrived at our home either through our own design or were delivered by friends and neighbors, that it may in fact be mid April before I get rid of all of the goodies and get started on my New Year’s Resolutions. The second reason that I do not have a Happy New Year is because New Year’s Eve was for many years a time when I vowed to quit my bad habits. My biggest and baddest habit was smoking and I quit smoking at least 30 or 40 times before finally getting the hang of it. The quitting is actually the easy part. It’s the staying quit that is the real killer. My far too kind and understanding wife was patient with me each time I quit and then started back up again. She would just tell me kindly that when I was ready to quit I would quit. That I couldn’t quit for her, I couldn’t quit for the kids or the dog or the neighbors or my co-workers. I had to quit for me and when I did it would be easy. I wouldn’t need a nicotine patch or nicotine gum or hypnosis or any of the other aids out there to help you quit smoking. When I decided I was no longer a smoker, I wouldn’t be one anymore. I decided I wasn’t a smoker anymore on a New Year’s Eve. And my wife was right. I went through the cravings, I went through the urges and the frustrations, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, but my in my mind I had convinced myself that I was no longer a smoker, so eventually I stopped whining and got over it. Of course, to become a non-smoker I also became a non-drinker, because I knew if I did one I would do the other. And since I was no longer a drinker or smoker, New Years became less a time to party and more a time to seriously consider what I needed to do to be a better person. The list is so long that it can be a bit depressing. Since I no longer smoke or drink, I have discovered that food tastes much better than ever before, which is why I have been known to eat ham and au gratin potatoes with chili and crackers for breakfast. It is an Old Year Regret led to a New Year’s Resolution. And I guess that might make for a Happy Happy Happy New Year. Photo by C. Josie Luke Miss Emery County Holly Damron and First Attendant Allison Stokes deliver holiday blankets to veterans. Bringing Holiday Cheer to Local Seniors C. Josie Luke For many the winter is marked by holiday giving, good cheer, friendship and trying to keep warm. Miss Emery County, Holly Damron, and her First Attendant, Allison Stokes brought these together two days before Christmas by presenting nearly 40 beautiful lap blankets to veterans and their wives living at local nursing homes. The project is part of Damron’s drive to support military families. Her platform, “Military Family Needs and Support Awareness” was inspired by the work she has done with Operation Home Support as part of the American Legion Auxiliary since she was 15. Most of the blankets were donated by Damron’s Great Aunt, Darlene Thorn, who crocheted 30 afghans for the project. Thorn, who was partially paralyzed on her left side after having a brain tumor removed, has donated over 170 of the blankets to Primary Children’s Hospital, and was pleased to help her niece with the special project. “It’s my therapy,” she said. “I’m sure it will keep them warm.” Damron and Stokes were delighted to be able to deliver the lap blankets, and the recipients were pleased to have the gifts. “It just made me happy,” Damron said. “Everybody we talked to was really excited and had such a positive attitude. Makes them happy, makes me happy.” News of the Weird Chuck Shepherd Lead Story In several European countries, identifying the “naughty” kids at Christmastime is not Santa’s job but is left to unsavory legendary icons who have endured for centuries (according to a December series of articles in Germany’s Der Spiegel). In Italy, determinations are made by the extremely ugly witch La Befana, who has the ability to fly her broomstick through keyholes into bad kids’ houses. In Austria, Krampus pays the naughty ones visits as a 7-foot-tall horned devil with a long tongue and a goat’s head. And in the Netherlands, Sinterklaas’ helper is Zwarte Piet (“Black Pete”), who, unlike Sinter, gets sooty when climbing down chimneys delivering twigs to the shoes of misbehavers. (However, the Netherlands pair has a big advantage over the North Pole-dwelling Santa, in that they reside in sunny Spain and arrive at Christmastime by steamship.) Can’t Possibly Be True -- In a March change of regulations, the Pentagon began saving money by reducing “combat-injury” benefits The Duplex Emery County’s New Newspaper 685 South Main Street P.O. Box 487 Orangeville, UT. 84537 www.theemerycountyreview.com Phone: 435-748-2541 Fax: 435-748-2543 Established January 2, 2007 Published Every Tuesday Publisher / Editor James L. Davis jldavis@theemerycountyreview.com Co-Publisher / Office / Advertising Manager Colleen A. Davis cdavis@theemerycountyreview.com for all except those wounded while actually fighting, explaining that combat-”related” injuries were simply not worthy of full compensation. Thus, in examples offered by The Washington Post in November, Marine Cpl. James Dixon and Army Sgt. Lori Meshell were not entitled to full combat-injury coverage for their Iraq wounds (Dixon from a roadside bomb and a land mine, and Meshell while diving for cover during a mortar attack) because neither was actually fighting at the time. (Dixon, initially denied about $16,000 by the classification, recently won a hard-fought reversal, but Meshell, drawing $1,200 less per month because of the change, is still appealing.) -- Twice recently anglers encountered (and rescued) dogs that were swimming about a mile from land and headed toward the open sea. The pooches, a Labrador retriever and a cairn terrier, were both said to be disoriented and uncooperative with rescuers. (Copyright 2008 Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) By Glenn McCoy Assistant Editor C. Josie Luke Advertising Design / Office Lyndsay Reid Advertising Sales Kristi Renz Editorial Staff Kathy P. Ockey Webmaster Casey Wood Postmaster: Send change of address to The Emery County Review, 685 South Main Street, P.O. Box 487, Orangeville, UT. 84537. Publication No: (USPS 6) issued once a week at Orangeville, Utah. Standard postage paid at Orangeville, Utah. Copyright 2008 The Emery County Review |
