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Show B2 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, December 2, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword Figuratively Speaking Focus on the Family Children’s Informality with Adults Sign of Societal Change Dr. James Dobson Q It seems to me that children are far too familiar -- too informal -- with adults today. When I was a kid, we always addressed grown ups by “Mr.” or “Mrs.” Or if they were in the family, we called them “uncle” or “aunt,” or “Grandpa” or “Grandma”. We would never have referred to an adult as Sam or Alice. But today’s parents don’t teach that courtesy to their children. Some of them introduce four-year-olds to adults by their first names. Am I the only one who is concerned about this? What can I do to counteract this trend with my own son and daughter? I’ve been bothered by that same observation. It’s a by-product of a cultural shift within society itself. We are less respectful of one another today in many ways. Fifty years ago, for example, men didn’t curse around women and cultured women didn’t curse at all. How that has changed! Both men and women used to address each other with formal titles (Mr., Mrs., Miss, etc.) unless they had become A very close friends. Now, a waitress whom you’ve never met approaches your table and says, “Hi, I’m Stephanie and I’m going to be serving you today.” I don’t suppose today’s informality is harmful, although I agree that children should be taught to speak to their elders with certain deference. I still like to hear them respond with “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, sir,” instead of “yeah,” “yep” and “nope.” When their manners are respectful, their entire demeanor is on a higher plane. As for how you can instill these and other courtesies in your child, you simply make up your mind to do it. You might explain that there are many things your family does differently than others: For example, “We don’t use bad language, we don’t attend certain kinds of movies and we don’t Horoscopes by Holiday As the famous song by The Beatles suggested, love is all you need. Indeed, during the conjunction of Venus and Jupiter this week you may feel as though your survival depends on eating and breathing love, as a joyful, giving heart is the most important element in a healthy life. Mercury and Uranus square off midweek to throw a wrench in the works; however, the spirit of giving and connection ultimately prevails. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Let yourself have a little of what you want, but not all of it. It’s a week to raise your maturity level, and delayed gratification is a big part of that equation. However, don’t go to extremes. If you’re too contained, you’ll go a little crazy. Friday, you’re in the mood to get into trouble, but you get out of it easily enough. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You are trusted with weighty responsibilities, and you can handle them. There are many ways to avoid the straw that broke the camel’s (or the bull’s) back. Say no when you feel uncomfortable. Make several trips instead of trying to carry everything at once. And enlist the help of other “camels” to lighten your load. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You have a clever habit of giving people what they want, especially when what they want is validation. You can afford to be generous Q A something that he knows is irritating to you and your husband, yet you are unable to stop him. That is the issue. He has been using humor as a tactic of defiance for a full year. It is time for you to sit down and have a quiet little talk with young Timothy. Tell him that he is being disrespectful, and that the next time he calls either you or his father a name of any kind he will be punished. You must then be prepared to deliver on the promise, because he will continue to challenge you until it ceases to be fun. That’s the way he is made. If that response never comes, his insults will probably become more pronounced. Appeasement for a strong-willed child is an invitation to warfare. This is the time to deal with it. (Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family. org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) Figuratively Speaking Week of November 30 Holiday Mathis (fill in the blank).” Why? Because we’ve set a higher standard for ourselves. This is what makes us unique as a family. Someday you will understand that, too. I could use some advice about a minor problem we’re having. Tim, my 6-year-old son, loves to use silly names whenever he speaks to my husband and me. This past week it’s been “You big Hot Dog.” Nearly every time he sees me now he says, “Hi, Hot Dog.” Before that, it was “Dummy,” then “Moose” (after he studied M for moose in school). I know it’s silly and it’s not a huge problem, but it gets so annoying after such a long time. He’s been doing this for a year now. How can we get him to talk to us with more respect, calling us mom and dad, instead of hot dog and moose? Ordinarily, it would not be a big deal for a child to use a playful name for his parent. But that isn’t what appears to be happening with Tim. It sounds more like a classic power game to me. And contrary to what you said, it is not so insignificant. Your son is continuing to do John MacIntyre with your opinions because you genuinely think well of others and sharing that sentiment helps everyone. Your point is well taken because it’s the same point the other person is making. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The people who are supposed to be in your life regularly are there for you. And those who have not been so dependable need your love from a distance. You’ll be closer when the timing is right for both of you. Thursday brings an exciting discovery -- something you’ve been wanting has been there all along. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You are called to duty. You may hesitate, wondering whether you are the right person for the job. If you didn’t realize what was being asked of you, you could go in without flinching. It’s your admirable sense of responsibility that causes you to waver. Feel the fear, but don’t let it stop you. Move through it and you won’t feel it again. THIS WEEK’S BIRTHDAYS: Mentors take you under their wing this year. What you learn about working smart you can immediately put into practice. Your financial hunches are proved correct through January. In February, it benefits you to volunteer for a task no one else wants. You’ll get to work behind the scenes, and you’ll better understand how you can take advantage of Continued on Page B4. $3: Average amount of money that can be saved per person per day by brownbagging a lunch, according to statistics from the Oscar Mayer “Brown Bag Barometer.” $260: Estimated amount that can be saved per month for a family of four. 1, 2: Rank of sandwiches (41 percent) and leftovers (32 percent) as the most popular items in the bag. Source: Weber Shandwick. 68: Percentage of Ameri- cans who think people give gifts as a way to make subtle suggestions about what someone wears or how they look, according to a survey by Remington products and conducted by Zoomerang. 41: Percentage who admit that’s why they’ve picked particular products. Source: Zoomerang. 76: Percentage of consum- ers who cite convenience as a reason to buy online, ac- cording to a Nielsen Online pre-holiday survey. 53: Percentage of consumers who cite price as a reason to buy online. Source: Nielsen Online. 10.7: Percentage of employees who have felt excluded during annual holiday celebrations in the workplace, according to a national telephone survey by Novations Group. Source: Novations Group Inc. 20: Percentage of consum- ers who will purchase more “eco-friendly” products this holiday season than in the past, according to the “23rd Annual Holiday Survey” of retail spending and trends commissioned by Deloitte. 18: Percentage who will shop at more “green” retailers. 38: Percentage of consum- ers who said they will use fewer plastic bags from supermarkets and other stores this holiday season. 21: Percentage who will consider not wrapping holiday gifts in order to conserve paper. Source: Deloitte. 52: Percentage difference in the one-year performance improvement in operating income between companies with highly engaged employees -- those who believe in the values of their company, are proud of their work for the company, and are committed to their employer -- compared to companies with low engagement, according to a survey by ISR. 13: Percentage improve- ment in net income growth over a one-year period at companies with high employee engagement. 28: Percentage improve- ment in EPS (earnings per share) growth in companies with high employee engagement. Source: Towers Perrin. 55: Percentage of video gamers who are married, according to research by IGN Entertainment and Ipsos MediaCT. 48: Percentage who have children. 32: Average age of new gamers -- those who have started playing videogames in the past two years. Source: Ipsos Media. 35.1: Percentage of holiday shoppers who say they begin shopping before Thanksgiving, according to data from Mediamark Research and Intelligence. 35.8: Percentage of holi- day shoppers who say they begin shopping between Thanksgiving and Dec. 15. 25.6: Percentage who start their shopping between Dec. 16 and Dec. 23. Source: Mediamark Research. $25 billion: Projected amount Americans will spend on gift cards this holiday season, according to an Archstone Consulting survey. 55: Percentage of consum- ers who told the National Retail Federation they want to receive gift cards this holiday season -- more than any other type of gift. 33: Percentage of card recipients who tend to redeem them on necessities. Source: Bankrate Inc. Idle Thought Puzzle answers on Page B4. “Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face.” -- Albert Camus, writer and philosopher (Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) |