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Show B2 The Emery County Review, Tuesday, November 11, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword Figuratively Speaking Focus on the Family Child’s Adoption is a Blessing to be Celebrated Dr. James Dobson Q A How would you go about telling a child he or she is adopted, and when should that disclosure occur? First, begin talking to your toddlers about their adoption before they can understand the meaning of the words. That way there will never be a moment when disclosure is necessary. To learn of adoption from a neighbor or other family member can be an awful shock to an individual. Don’t risk the devastation of a later discovery by failing to take the sting out of the issue in babyhood. Second, celebrate two birthdays with equal gusto each year: the anniversary of her birth, and the anniversary of the day she became your daughter. That is a handy mechanism by which the fact of adoption can be introduced. It also provides a way to equalize the status of siblings. Biological children have a psychological advantage, which they sometimes lord over their adopted brother or sister. That one-upmanship is neutralized somewhat when the adopted child gets a second birthday. Third, present the adoptive event as a tremendous blessing (as implied above) that brought great excitement to the household. Tell about how badly you and your wife wanted a baby to hold even though it looked like you wouldn’t get to raise another boy or girl. Then describe how the news came that “you had arrived,” and how the whole family celebrated and cheered. Let your child know your delight when you first saw him lying in a crib, and how cute he looked in his blue blanket, etc. Tell him that his adoption was one of the happiest days of your life, and how you raced to the telephone to call all your friends and family members to share the fantastic news. (Again, I’m assuming that these details are true.) This is the point: The child’s interpretation of the adoptive event is almost totally Horoscopes by Holiday Is it true love? Is this the one? Are we destined to be together? The conjunction of Venus and Pluto brings an onslaught of profound questions -- perhaps more than need be. The heavy tone of this quandary is the stuff of teenage romance, when love was so new it felt like an all-or-nothing deal. However, for most people, love comes in many forms and several times over a lifetime. It’s something to keep in mind during this transit. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re in an ambitious mode these days, and you’ll probably find yourself working at a level you’re not really ready for, but that’s all right. Say very little, and save up your questions so you can research them on your own. Act like you know what you’re doing, and you’ll soon catch up to the others. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Conversation is a difficult art to master since you never know what the other person is going to say. But you’ve more than a little talent for breaking the ice with those hard-toreach types. Sure, you’re stymied at first by the communication obstacles, but you won’t be defeated. Your charm melts them eventually. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Sometimes you think it would be nice to be able to put all of your energy, attention and passion Q A you let him get bored, he’ll find destructive ways to use unstructured and unsupervised time. My advice is to get him involved in the very best church youth program you can find. If your local congregation only has four bored kids in its junior high department and seven sleepy high schoolers, I would consider changing churches. I know doing that could be disruptive to the rest of your family, but it might help save your volatile kid. This can be done not only through church activities but also by involvement with athletics, music, horses or other animals, and part-time jobs. The hope is that one of those options will grab his fancy at some point, and his boundless energy will be channeled into something constructive. Until then, you must keep that energetic kid’s scrawny legs churning! (Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) Figuratively Speaking Week of November 9 Holiday Mathis dependent on the manner in which it is conveyed during the early years. Most certainly, one does not want to approach the subject sadly, admitting reluctantly that a dark and troublesome secret must now be confessed. Fourth, when the foundation has been laid and the issue is defused, then forget it. Don’t constantly remind the child of his uniqueness to the point of foolishness. Mention the matter when it is appropriate, but don’t reveal anxiety or tension by constantly throwing adoption in the child’s face. Youngsters are amazingly perceptive at “reading” these thinly disguised attitudes. I believe it is possible, by following these common sense suggestions, to raise an adopted child without psychological trauma or personal insult. My 14-year-old boy is flighty, mischievous, irresponsible and lazy. If I don’t watch him very carefully, he’ll find ways to get into trouble -- not really bad stuff, just stupid kid behavior. But I’m afraid I could lose him right at this time. What can I do to keep him on track? It is most important to keep your rambunctious youngster moving. If John MacIntyre into one interest. But you’re interested in many things. What seems fascinating one moment loses its sheen if overworked. So you’ll spread your attention around to see what has the potential to captivate you more fully. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ve struck an arrangement. There will be moments when you think you’re getting the better end of things and times you know you’re getting the worst. The important part is that you are both getting what you need for right now. Trust that all will even out, and this will go on for as long as it’s working. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You’re surrounded by those who don’t know the road, and your guidance will be crucial in their journey. It seems like only yesterday that you didn’t know what you were doing either, and now you’re an expert. However, you are also modest. Like a shepherd, you lead the flock -- but you walk behind them. THIS WEEK’S BIRTHDAYS: You are shown respect. Those around you make it known that you are valued and matter. November offers the chance to perform in some way, and you win out over stiff competition, too. Family ties are reinforced through December and new additions bring excitement. There are career choices Continued on Page B6. 18: Percentage of shoppers who would discontinue shopping at a particular store if they believe the store is not clean, according to a study conducted by MARC Research. 46: Percentage of consumers who consider a clean shopping environment as extremely important. 1, 2, 3: Ranks of grocery stores, drugstores and department stores as the stores that could see the largest impact on sales if there is an unclean environment. Source: MARC Research. 1: Rank of silver on the list of the most popular car colors globally -- capturing 20 percent in North America, 35 percent in Europe and 37 percent in Asia/Pacific Rim, according to data released by PPG Industries. 1, 2, 3: In North America, ranks of silver (20 percent), white (18 percent) and black (17) on the list. Source: PPG Industries. 96: Percentage of women working in an office who claim to like or love their computer, with the average woman spending nearly triple the amount of time daily with her computer than with her significant other, according to a survey conducted by Harris Interactive for Wellgate for Women. 10: On the relationship 47: Percentage who would work overtime to create more job security. Source: Randstad-USA. 10: Percentage of Ameri- cans who are taking out more cash advances on their credit cards than they did in the past, according to the results of a survey by Standard and Poor’s about how American consumers use credit cards to manage personal debt. side, percentage of female office workers who claim their significant other thinks they spend too much time with their computer. Source: Harris Interactive. 20: Percentage of respon- 72: Percentage of employ- 8: Percentage who say they ees who would do something to impress their boss, according to a workplace survey by Randstad USA. 57: Percentage who would take on additional work or responsibilities to make an impression. dents who indicate they are “sometimes” (14 percent) or “always” (6 percent) unable to pay their credit card and/or loan balances each month. can only make the minimum payment required. Source: Standard and Poor’s ExecuComp. 40: Estimated percentage of the contracts that federal agencies were supposed to give to small businesses that actually were diverted to Fortune 500 firms, according to a recent story by The Washington Post. $5 billion: In a sample review by The Washington Post of $13 billion in federal contracts that were reported as going to small businesses, value of the contracts that had actually been awarded to Fortune 500 firms such as Lockheed Martin, Dell Computer, L-3 Communications, SAIC, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics and British Aerospace (BAE). Source: American Small Business League. 74: Percentage of college students who said their buying decisions are frequently influenced by discounts, according to a national survey by Campus Entertainment and the National Association for Campus Activities. 48: Percentage who are influenced by coupons. 40: Percentage who admit that their decisions are often influenced by recommendations from friends on social networks such as Facebook or MySpace. Source: Campus Entertainment LLC. Idle Thought “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” -- Eric Hoffer, philosopher and author (1902-1983) (Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) Puzzle answers on Page B6. |