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Show The Emery County Review, Tuesday, May 13, 2008 The FAMILY PAGE Horoscope Focus On The Family Crossword B3 Figuratively Speaking FOCUS ON THE FAMILY Mother is Baffled by Sons’ Boisterous Personalities Dr. James Dobson Q Help! I’m a mother of two sons, and I feel as if I’ve been thrust into a strange new world. Are boys always so rough? Sometimes the noise level in our house is more than I can take! Is this normal? I’ve got both good and bad news for you -- it is normal, so you’d better get used to it and learn to cope! One of my colleagues, Dr. Tim Irwin, once shared his observation that women who have not grown up with brothers are often shocked by the sheer physicality of boys -- by the sights and sounds and smells they generate. Some, like you, admit they are completely clueless in knowing how to deal with them. One obvious suggestion is to help boys release their excess energy by getting them involved in activities where fighting, laughing, running, tumbling and yelling are acceptable. Soccer, karate, Little League and football are a few possibilities. Moms also need to keep boys’ little minds and hands busy. It’s in their best interest to do so. My father once said about our energetic toddler, A “if you let that kid get bored, you deserve what he’s going to do to you.” Shirley’s stepfather, who has a South Dakota accent, once said -- after baby-sitting our kids for a week: “Oh, der good kids. You just gotta keep ‘em out in da open.” Good advice. My teen daughter, Cynthia, and I have incredible fights sometimes. No one has ever gotten to me in quite the way she can. We actually yell at each other when these battles are going on. How unusual is that kind of conflict between mothers and daughters? And is there hope for us? : Unfortunately, it is very common. Many psychologists have described a “thing” which occurs between some mothers and teenage daughters. Even though they love each other, the friction between them can generate a lot of heat. It probably Q A results from a phenomenon that has been called “two women in the kitchen” -- a kind of natural competitiveness that occurs between females in the family. It can also be caused by a mother’s inability to cope with an extremely difficult and antagonistic kid. Whatever the source, it can make life unpleasant for several years. I know women who would give their lives for their daughters, yet they say with fire in their eyes, “I don’t even like her very much right now.” That appears to be what you and your teenager are experiencing at this time. Is there hope for a better relationship in years to come? Yes, I believe you will overcome it. Getting Cynthia through adolescence and into adulthood will change everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t become one of your best friends down the road. So, take heart. A better day is coming. What can we do in the meantime? How can I deal with this wildcat who lives under my roof? Before I answer, tell me what your husband’s relationship with Cynthia is. Q A Wanda Perry Copley News Service ARIES (March 21 - April 19): Plan to gain through a speculative venture, but keep in mind there are no guarantees. Consider the worst-case scenario and bet only what you can afford to lose. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Play it smart and avoid spreading yourself too thin. Handle all of your important correspondence personally and make sure that it is done correctly. GEMINI (May 21 - June 21): Give your imagination adequate room to roam and produce this week. Figure out how to turn a creative idea into a profitable venture. CANCER (June 22 - July 22): Get together with friends and form a club toreflect your interests and needs. Make a commitment to enjoy quality time together on a regular basis. LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22): You will obtain rewards from your job according to the level or degree that you are willing to contribute. Give your all and attain the desired results. VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Travel and adventure are on tap. Do your best to be flexible and willing to go with the flow. Use humor to help you navigate tight corners or situations. LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Expect a raise or some form of financial increase to come through as a result of a group project or investment. Join the fun and cash in. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21): You are attracted to some unusual associates or unconventional partnerships this week. Listen, learn and expand your emotional awareness. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Follow instructions from a colleague or coworker to avoid making a mistake. Choose projects that promise immediate and satisfactory compensation. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Hit the social scene with great expectations. A little enthusiasm will attract a lot of attention. Initiate a conversation with a kind word and a smile. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): There is a harmonious and happy energy on the domestic front this week. Unite in a special celebration and make the most of time spent with loved ones. PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20): Operate with great effectiveness on the mental level. Tap your creative center and engage your brain to solve a difficult dilemma or challenging puzzle. If your birthday is this week, you should feel comfortable to lean toward the unconventional or unusual during the coming year. Do not hesitate to spread your wings and willingly fly into an exciting and unique direction. Your participation in an offbeat club or group experience will alter or change your life in many ways. Record your private thoughts in a journal or diary and document your physical encounters in photos. Also born this week: Florence Nightingale, Stevie Wonder, Thomas Gainsborough, Trini Lopez, Tori Spelling and Tahj Mowry. (For more information go to WandaPerry.com) It’s very good. She doesn’t pull the same stuff on him that she does with me. What are you getting at? He may hold the key to the tension in your home. Fathers can play a valuable role as peacemakers and mediators at a time like this. They can help you ventilate anger and find acceptable compromises where they are appropriate. Cynthia may listen to her dad. When teenagers are greatly irritated with one parent, they will sometimes seek to draw closer to the other. It’s like a nation at war that seeks supportive allies. If fathers are favored in that way, they can calm the troubled waters and keep two women from killing each other. Without this masculine influence, routine skirmishes can turn into World War III. (Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995(www.family.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Solid Answers” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House. Copyright 2008 James Dobson Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.) FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING HOROSCOPE Week of May 12 to 18 Q A John MacIntyre ed by Zogby International. 68: Percentage of women 43: Percentage of Ameri- who cite “financial strain” as a major threat to the American family, according to findings of a nationwide survey by Meredith Corp. and NBC Universal. 48: Percentage who also cite “divorce” as a major threat. 47: Percentage who also cite “loss of faith/spirituality.” Source: Meredith Corp. 9.5: Percentage of employ- ment screenings in 2007 that turned up criminal record convictions, or “hits,” according to a study conducted by Kroll. 1, 2, 3: Ranks of construction, automotive and retail among the industries with the highest criminal record hit ratios in 2007. Source: Kroll. 51: Percentage of Ameri- cans who say the dream to own a home is still attainable for most citizens, according to a survey conduct- cans who say they spend more than 30 percent of their household budget on housing — which according to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), indicates that they are “cost burdened.” Source: Zogby International. 55: Percentage of Ameri- cans who said they don’t feel like they have the free time in the evenings that they had five years ago, according to a survey conducted by StrategyOne for Listerine Antiseptic. 80: Percentage who agree that Americans are working longer days than ever before. Source: Edelman. $58 billion: Annual cost of global piracy to the U.S. economy, according to “The True Cost of Copyright Industry Piracy to the U.S. Economy” study conducted for the Institute for Policy Innovation. 375,000: Estimated cost in jobs lost. $16.3 billion: Cost in lost annual earnings. $2.6 billion: Cost in lost tax revenue. Source: Office of the United States Trade Representative. 37: Percentage of employ- ees who feel more relaxed than stressed when they are connected to work by a wireless device, according to Yahoo! HotJobs’ annual virtual workplace survey. 42: Percentage who are altogether indifferent to their wireless device, feeling neither relaxed nor stressed by it. Source: Yahoo! HotJobs. 30: Percentage of employ- ees who say they left their jobs to seek new challenges or opportunities that were lacking with their previous employers, according to a study by Buchanan Public Relations. 25: Percentage of respon- dents who reported leaving employers because of ineffective leadership. 22: Percentage who cited poor relationships with their managers. Source: Buchanan Public Relations. 12.5: Percentage of all U.S. non-farm jobs that are in the U.S. travel economy, according to Travel Industry Association of America data. 7.5 million: Number of jobs this represents. 3: Percentage of the U.S. total gross domestic product that is attributable to the travel industry. Source: Travel Industry Association of America. $472 million: Average net worth of a major league baseball (MLB) team in 2008, according to a study conducted by Forbes. $1.3 billion: Net worth of the New York Yankees, the most valuable MLB team. 2, 3, 4: Ranks of the New York Mets, the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers as the next most valuable teams. Source: Forbes. Idle Thought “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” -- Abraham Lincoln See Page C5 for Puzzle Answers. (Copyright 2008 John MacIntyre Inc. Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate. |
