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Show T H E O N ET H A T ' S R Utah Press Association Arinda Guttierez 1521 E 3900 SSte 100 Salt Lake City UT 84124-1550 II<II«IMI...II..I.I.I..I...II.I.I..I.I.II 1.1,1,1,,,ll.I Hie Spanish frok News J L L VOL. 4 / NO. XIII O C A L L Y O W N E D A N D O P E R A T E D SPANISH FORK.UTAH 7 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009 50^ S WERE RIGHT! Kids faces really DID stick like that Ramon Mills EDITOR It is a well-known fact that the scouting program teaches enduring values such as courtesy, kindness, cleanliness and reverence. It is an equally well-known fact that most scouts are preadolescent males, and, as such, are the least-likely demographic to demonstrate any of these values. This phenomenon was observed again last week, as scouts all over Spanish Fork and Salem were involved in typical scout behavior — making silly faces. But this time, in a rare turn of events, the scouts realized — all too late — that their mothers were right. In the unlikely fulfillment of what had heretofore been considered an "empty parental threat," the boys' faces actually did stick like that. Dr. Stan Redd, a local physician, said he'd never seen anything like it. "This is unprecedented in medical history," said Redd. "It could take weeks to examine the various cases." Redd did, however, find a silver lining to the puerile predicament. "I plan to submit my findings to the Journal of Popular Medicine," he said. "It See SCOUTS • A2 Ramon Mills / Spanish Fork News HOLD THAT POSE: The cubs pictured above are simply a few of the many area scouts whose faces inexplicably froze in distorted positions. Big box store finalizes plans for North Park Bill Norman STAFF WRITER A national big-box chain has recently confirmed rumors that they will indeed move ahead with plans to build in Spanish Fork's former North Park. The area, now playfully referred to as "that @#7r*! dirt pile" will soon be home to one of the nation's top do-ityourself retailers. While the store's ubiquitous orange aprons are familiar to many, the name is new — part of a corporate restructuring to better address the changing needs of today's market. That's right. Home Repo is coming to Spanish Fork. "We're excited to come to Spanish Fork," said Repo spokesman Patrick Michaels. "This is a promising area in which to launch our new marketing strategies." According to Michaels, those strategies have helped Home Repo adapt to market conditions in the current economy, typically considered a bane to home improvement chains. While building may be down in post-subprimc America, Home Repo has found what Michaels called "the silver lining of See STORE • A2 Courtesy photo / Disassociated Press A SIXTH BROWN? No one can be sure, but this photo reportedly shows Jace Brown on a tour bus in Southern California. Students discover 6th Brown Nathan Williams STAFF W R I T E R Undisclosed sources from the Spanish Fork High School orchestra have reportedly discovered a sixth Brown. Classical music fans the world over are reeling with the news that the America's most famous family of young musicians may include another brother. Jace Brown was reportedly seen on tour in Southern California the week before last. The discovery rocked the classical music world (which is kind of hard to do, if you know what I mean). The shocking revelations continued with the discovery that unlike the other Browns, who all play the piano, Jace plays the viola — the perennial laughingstock of the symphony orchestra. "I don't see what all the fuss is about," said Brown. "So I don't play the piano. At least I can carry my instrument around with me — how many pianos can you fit on one stage anyway?" Brown also denied allegations that the stereotyping of the viola has negatively affected his career. "Some people see it as negative at- tention," he said, '"but the way I see it, any attention is good attention for a professional musician. I mean, look at 50 Cent, look at MJ. This is just part and parcel of the pro music gig, and I take it in stride." Brown groupies had varied responses to the news. "The prospect of another Brown is just shocking. I mean, five-part harmony is one thing, but six?! It defies the human capacity for comprehension!" said groupie Kim Mulligan. See BROWN • A2 |