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Show 3 Weekly outlook? Confused BY NADIA ASHTAWY he existential crisis you've been experiencing lately finally has found its origins. Apparently you've got your whole life wrong — and it's all because your zodiac was off. Marriage? Moot. New Business? Proceed way more cautiously. However, life and your personality can finally be put back into some sort of stasis thanks to recent astrological changes. With the reintroduction of Ophiuchus, and adjustments of the other twelve, you can get the right advice about what you should be doing. Some won't be happy T fat Aries (Apr. 18 — May 13) It's okay to lose sometimes W s.._‘.,%.2_10 _, Scorpio (Nov. 23 — Nov. 29) 4 "ai Taurus (May 13 — Jun. 20) Bask in whatever you accomplished for longer than you need to Gemini (Jun. 21 — Jul. 20) Be more sociable k . lt. F Some guy with snakes Capricorn (Jan. 20 — Feb. 16) -- Leo (Aug. 10 — Sept. 16) Shaving is much more important now )r, You're not cheap; you're practical Aquarius , (Feb. 16 — Mar. 11) ; Virgo (Sept. 16 — Oct. 30) You would think they could share some days with Scorpio Libra (Oct. 30 — Nov. 23) Your symbol is an inanimate object We haven't decided what you are yet OA Sagittarius Cancer (Jul. 20 — Aug. 10) I Ophiuchus (Nov. 29 — Dec. 17) 4gl o l (Dec. 17 — Jan. 20) Practice more archery. You probably have good aim... NI, Be less sociable a• Your numbers have gone way down Keep your distance from people emotionally Pisces (Mar. 11 — April 18) ; Yes. The fish smell is hard to get out of clothes with the changes, but that's all a part of adjusting to the new world we live in. These will be your new signs. We've included fun facts and changes you'll probably need to make. ...• STAFF INFECTION What are your thoughts on the new zodiac signs? "I feel like it's something to be angry about that doesn't matter." —Celeste Rosenloff, Opinions editor "I'm upset about it because I missed the cut off by one day and I'm in the new one, which I can't pronounce." —Kelly Cannon, Assistant Culture editor "In 1983, I was born under Capricorn on the solstice—I will always be a Capricorn. I you look at the trais of my sign, It's me to a "T." I'll never be a Sagittarius. I'm too lazy. —Natalie Psuik, Designer "I like it. I'm a Gemini. I'm now twice as cool. That's what Gemini means right?" —Jarom Moore, Assistant News editor "The new zodiac gave me cancer" —Rob Steffen, Senior video editor I've lost my identity. I don't even know who I am anymore." —Jessica Burnham, Copyeditor |