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Show ;*:-.^r^vf.•'*'-' * '^v--*'' '".sQ .. 'C Monday Opinions November 24, 2008 Letter to the Editor Dave Iba's Top 4 List Parking at UVU has been a large problem this past semester. There have been more students attending UVU this semester than ever before. Therefore there have been more teachers and they have also needed more parking. This has been a problem for students in the LA building parking lot because it more of their parking spots have been taken up, and it is harder for students to find a spot to park. There are many different places to park on campus, but it's inconvenient when your classes are all in the same building to park on the other end of campus. Many students have also complained that in the free parking you have to drive up and down the rows for a while until you find a spot. They also say it's pathetic that you have (continued from last week) Tips on how to be successful during the credit crunch As you might know my name is Dave, Dave Iba. But my last name, it might as well be Inc. As in incorporated. Actually we all have that last name, don't we? Because each one of us is a business. One employee, owner operated. Because everything in my life is a transaction, a deal, an act of commerce. There are millions of little two-legged businesses running around everywhere buying, selling and merging \$th.other two-legged businesses. The gauge of a successful Business is simply this, its balance sheet. Look at the sign -'.on that business walking down the freeway off ramp... will /fyork for food.:What sign is in your window? •% A few minutes ago as I sat down at my computer to write Oils, I happened to reach into my pocket. And I realized I had over $350 in cash on me. I want you to reach into your •pocket right now. Do you have anywhere near $350 on you? I doubt it. Well that's ok, because from my advice here and in last week's tips you will always walk around with no less that $350 at all times, and this is just the beginning. This one wjll knock your socks off. How many times have you been driving down the road and seen a dead animal lying there? Like most people, you probably swerve and drive around it. But what if I told you that you could make $60,000 a year picking up those dead critters? Would you still drive on? Every county in this nation contracts with someone to pick up road kill and dispose of it, and they pay, get this, nine dollars a carcass. Double for deer! 14 million animals are killed on our nation's roads every year! Multiply that by nine dollars each. With a little research, you will be able to learn how to obtain an EPA cremation furnace you can put right on your property. You can even heat your home with it. Who says the dead don't speak. 1 think they scream PROFITS! When you jump into this money-maker I call road kill riches. Cha-Ching! Lets talk about something that many college students have a problem with. It's called time management. Believe me, your successful business and your money-making schemes depend on it. How often are you late for something like an appointment or class? Do you ever feel like there isn't enough time in the day? You know the concept of time, the hour, the minute, was invented in the 1600s. It's a man made standard. HA! Of course there isn't enough time when you are at the mercy of someone else's standard. I want you to laugh at the hour, and howl at the minute. Watches? Who needs them. One of the best sales tactics is when you can catch people off guard. Wouldn't you agree? When I call on a sales prospect and hear... DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? ARE YOU CRAZY! Well it's about time! 1 Opportunity is all around us, and let me tell you about one of my most successful money-making schemes. It was a late night in July, around midnight, near the Orem Barnes and Noble. It seemed like half the city was there for a rally against abortion or something. But I kept on my way down to Wal-Mart to buy socks. As I got there, the other half of Orem was there. Something was up and the wheels started to turn. I walked in the store, greeted by students of Hogwarts and goblins and even Harry Poster himself. Book seven had just hit the shelves and they were flying off the shelf like hot cakes. There were pallets of these large orange books. I quickly grabbed a cart and bought 25 of them. I didn't even get my socks. At $15 each it cost me $375 before tax. I put the books in the passenger side of my car and drove up to Barnes and Noble, to the back of the line and stuck a book out the window and greeted "$25 and you don't have to stay in line!" You should have seen the look on all the little Harry Potter's faces as they looked up at their mom and said... MOM LOOK! $625 later I found myself at Wal-Mart again with another 25 books in my cart and.the profits in the avenue of $500 for 30 minutes of work. I*m currently working on something to make money off of the Twilight series. to pay $40 to park in the parking lot that is right next to it. I've heard that if you ride the bus into school, all that parking should be free because of how long the bus takes to get to the parking lot — it drives you to the school, and then you have to walk to the other end of the campus because it drops you off on the opposite end of the school. I've also heard that if you ride a motorcycle you get free parking. I've heard many students complain that it isn't fair because we pa£ $80 to pay to park right around the same spots as the motorcycles. I think it would be great ifor UVU to figure out another alternative to parking. Maybe UVU could create parking garages as the school becomes bigger. —Tazia Walpole Letter to the editor requirements uvu.review.opinions@gmail.com • Letters must be turned in on Wednesday by noon in order to be printed in the next edition. • We make no guarantee that letters will be printed. • Letters 300 words or less have a greater chance of being published - anything longer will be edited for content. • Please provide an electronic copy regardless of whether or not you wish to submit a hard copy. • All letters become the property of UVU Review as soon as they are submitted. BY JORDY KIRKMAN twilight edition! UNDECLARED You look different today. 'm going to be honest Jordy.That sounds like a porno title. I think I've heard of that What was the series called? j !*, Thanks. I've read a few books and seen a movie recently and discovered that girls think there's nothing sexier than vampires. So, I'm trying to look like one. Twilight The New Moon or something like that. You know, thinking back on all the hot vampire on vampire action, it might have been! 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