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Show •_-£••*=, mion The College Times MONDAY, JANUARY 21, 2008 caucus ove The beauty of age debacle wears on American nerves. Drew Howells £ r Opinion writer ^.-. f, There was one point in American history when the presidential elections cohsisted of classy individuals; maturity, and a true vision regarding our nation's- future. It was a gentlemen's game that involved top hats, walking canes, and a tumbler half full of whiskey. Although candidates were decided in smoke-filled back rooms at party headquarters, the nation would decide which candidate would move into the Oval Office for the next presidential term. Fast forward to 2008. On the left we have Ms. Cat Scratch Clinton herself, clawing out the eyes of her opponent Obama, while offending most black voters and many Americans by. disrespecting the memory of Martin Luther King Jr. . On the right we have Mormon jabs and jokes, and illegal, fake campaign-mailers pretending to be from the LDS church, while Huckabee insults many religiously faithful Latter-day Saints in professing himself the soon to be "Pastor-in-Chief." I would say that Huckabee is nothing more than a wrench in the gears and a tasteless distraction that has gotten old really fast. Last Tuesday, the drama-fest and mud slinging reached a new low with an attack on McCain's military record. It called him a traitor who sold out fellow Americans to the North Vietnamese while being held as a prisoner of war, according to an Associated Press report. Is it possible to have a presidential campaign without attacking someone's military service? In 2004 we had the Swift boat issue, and then Bush's Guard attendance points brought into question. I am appalled that people would sink to such lows as to call an Ameri- lHlstration by Peter Clbb can hero a traitor. You can disagree with a candidate's politics and policies, but to accuse them of conspiring with the enemy goes too far. And why now? This happened almost 40 years ago. There is so much name calling and under-the-table shin kicking going on, it's enough to make your head spin. |Who is attacking whom? It's like a massive game of dodge ball in which you;; don't know if you should duck, run, or strike. If you can see past the candidates' Own bickering, you then have celebrities, reporters, subject-matter-experts, and blog nerds all trying to speculate about polls and influence the outcome with selective reporting about the campaign. Thank goodness the people's vote in New Hampshire made a bold statement, telling these talking heads to go blow their smoke elsewhere. 1 really don't care to hear what some jobless actor or actress might say. If they want to do something important with their lives, I suggest they try I don't get it. If every potbeian in this race hasftpped-floppedone issue or another, and accepted questionable talking their writer friends into going back to work so I can watch my 24. One last thing: Oprah... what was that all about? What is really driving this madness? I will admit it is almost like a traffic accident: You just can't keep from looking. I even find myself flipping back and forth from American Idol to CNN. I dpn't know which is funnier, watching Hillary fake-cry on national TV or an idol-hopeful moaning a rendition of "Let My People Go." Why can't we vote for our next president American Idol style? I would trust that Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul would mediate a better debate than any Fox News anchor, and I would love every second of Simon as he put these presidential wannabes in their place. It's sad, yet funny, that American Idol got more votes than the last general election, and that Fox got more viewers for their season 7 premier than all the election coverage combined. When all is said and done, these elections will have been the most heated and dramatic campaigns I can remember: I fear that when November rolls around, I will be voting for the lesser of the evils when it comes to the President. I know there are issues that concern me: As a military service member, I am always concerned about the security of our nation. As a single, struggling student, taxes and the lack of financial aid available for students also concern me. America is a great nation, one that I have chosen to sacrifice for. I have put my life on the line to defend what this great country stands for. It is a nation built upon values, freedom, and the maxim that the people are guaranteed a voice. I just hope that enough people will actually look at whom they are voting for, and not just which party they are members of. If there is one thing I have learned about politics, there are plenty of wolves disguised in donkey's and elephant's clothing. Oude haven't you heard? She is a communist and she hates freedom. roSary Qfarton so much? stretched out of iheir-skin :Loraine Gluek-Gholdston .^ until they look like, drum Opinion writer t % heads wjth eyes^TKe ones>< • Women are so afraid of who can't will reyrt to any age. Is it because we want slogan-smeared anti-aging to look and feel youthful product tthey can flnd, trustand vital forever, or is it ing the unknow$i- chemibecause we're succumb- cals to keep. ~the^ looking ' >r ing to a Westernized ideal young. . What I think we're los^ . of what beauty is? Western ing is the opportunity to culture praises youth, and develop a beautiful antique looks upon the elderly with disdain. We women always patina that is hard-*on with try so hard to please ev- exposure to the elements, eryone, and we're our own hardships, danger, laughworst critics. We start to ter, and the ability \p accept • lose that youthful glow, and life for what it is. There is we'll spend any amount of no" way to stay young formoney on moisturizers and ever, and though we might lotions to try to get it back. be able to prolong youth But I think we're losing by never going outside and something valuable in the spending thousands in cosmetics, our skin will never process. gain the lustrous glow of a It struck me as I was life richly lived. watching one of those culWe've all heard the potural-show trailers on PBS. ets liken youthful women An elderly woman smiled at to blossoming flowers. But the camera for a fraction of we all know the petals will a second, and the lines and colors in her face reminded fade, wrinkle, and eventume of a beautiful antique ally fall. Once the petals are vase-1. saw in Mexico. gone, the admiring faces "Wow?* I thought, "she's turn away and look for a gorgeous!" This woman new, fresh flower. In doing so, they miss was a living work of art, and the growth and ripening of it wasn't accomplished with the fruit the rose was meant anti-aging creams and sunto produce. The rose hip screen. Why hadn't I ever grows rich and full, its skin noticed before how beautigrowing lustrous and bright. ful elderly people can be? Only those who know its Possibly because I live value can really appreciate in America, where women are lost in an endless, fu- it. The fruit can never be a tile struggle to seem as if rose: It wasn't meant to be a they're indefinitely twenty rose. But it is still beautiful, years old. The ones who can like the face of an elderly afford it go to plastic sur- woman who has seen hard geons and have the wrinkles times and can still laugh. STAFF T N F E C T I 0 N Given the current weather pattern we are locked into, what are some activities one might engage in to combat boredom? Kissing. It's a good way to forget you're freezing your a** off. If kissing isn't really an option at the moment, then hole up and send snarky blogs to the Opinions editor about the lack of "real" coffee on campus, the lack of I think it would be fun "real" parking on campus, or to build a snowman on your how easily Bush transitioned neighbor's porch in the from anti-Palestine when he wee hours of the morning, was popular to pro-Palestineand ring the doorbell. Then Israel peace talks when he's have the snowman hold- not. Karl would have come ing a sign that says "Hawaii up with a better way to divert Or Bust." This will make our attention from Iraq. the otherwise mad neigh—Carmell Hoopes-CIark bor smile, because come on snowman, you are not going to Hawaii! You couldn't In the winter months, even exist there, idiot. you simply just need a rope, —Greg Wilcox car and gloves. Tie the rope to the back of the car, put Here are a few ideas: on your gloves, and have -Buy a kitten and take it a friend start driving. You for a walk. It's sure to be hi- hold onto the rope and slide larious. And then afterwards, along on the slippery ice and you have a kitten to enjoy. try not to fall down, because It's like going to the prom falling during this activity and taking the chocolate could ultimately lead to your fountain home with you. death. -Learn how to spin do—Jennie Nicholls nuts in empty parking lots, so you can show off later. -Make a large supply of Throwing snowballs at snowballs, and bring them to unsuspecting bystanders is those bridge/veranda things always a good time, but I over the courtyard. Throw think sledding down Black them at the passers by be: Diamond slopes sounds like low. •. •';•/ iv v - "" a productive winter hobby. —MelSuridquist : —Erik Frederickson What about building marshmallow guns, and having a contest to shoot them into big vats of hot chocolate. — Keyra Kristofferson I would like to rent a snowman costume, one with a big cheesy grin, and luric the streets at night, throwing balls, of meat at passing cars. . A I always find fun by having snowball fights indoors by hiding snow in my thermos (a cue taken from Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes —Jared Magill fame). It keeps things interesting and your enemies on their toes. Just don't get Shirtless soccer on a caught by campus police: snowy Saturday. Losers -They frown on such pracmust lick the goalposts. tices, i —Jack Waters —Aaron Wilson |