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Show AggieLife Tuesday, Oct. 23, 2012 Page 7 A sour disappointment Steve Schwartzman Just a Few Laughs As I am writing this column, it should be known that I am in a grumpy mood. A very grumpy mood. By rule, it is not smart to get me upset. I pack a series of furious punches — that is, if by "punches" you mean comparisons to overweight bullies in teenage sitcoms, and that includes Donkey Lips from "Salute Your Shorts" — and I definitely won't pull them. Luckily for you and the general reading public, however, I tend to keep my emotions at a manageable level. But amid all of the effort, there are still occasions where my brain gets frustrated, my goat gets gotten and I am given no choice but to let my angry voice take effect. Today was one of those occasions, and was brought into course from a source that is devastatingly not all too uncommon. Of the many things I hope to rid the earth of — one of those being the Sega Dreamcast — this experience careens itself very much toward the front. I had a bad orange. And believe me, it was really bad. I would even say it classifies as what my old high school classmates, but never myself, would call a "sucky" orange. It was one of those oranges in which one can't tell if it was under or over ripe and built itself upon even more chronic depression because it seemed to be defiantly on the up and up during the peeling phase. The end to an above average lunch once had promise, but glumly ended with a citrus fruit that was better off being a turnip. Oranges are by and large the riskiest crop in the known and documented history of commercial produce. Investing time, fingernails and taste buds in an orange is a lot like investing in a "Bernstein Bears" book — you think you are getting a quality product every time until you are stuck reading a book about the struggle of taking off a band aid. No, of course, this is rooted from the fact that we know what a worthwhile orange tastes like. It has an exuberant tanginess, with enough sweetness to for a refreshing summertime tasting marriage. If ska music formed citrus and became edible, it would assuredly be an orange. A good one brings energy while drowning you in nourishment. It's the "Howard the Duck" of fruits. This may be why I act so hostile like toward a bad-tasting orange. Unlike any other fruit, it comes with an expectation. Few fruits come with so many standards of a worthy experience. Orange juice completes the perfect breakfast, and an Orange Julius is the pinnacle of smoothies. How can one survive Christmas without a chocolate orange in their stocking? Heck, Disneyland, one of the most dominating tourist attractions in the known universe, is in Orange County, California. The biggest frustration with the world of downtrodden navels and valencias roots in the knowledge that one cannot simply abort a bad orange experience. For one reason or another, oranges are a well-founded commitment. With an apple or peach, and almost definitely a banana, it is fully commonplace to dispose of a less than stellar eating experience, but there is something about an orange that ties us up personally and professionally. I, for one, blame it on the peel. If you think about it, oranges are the most peel-intensive produce in mod- ern Americana. Other citrus fruits have peels but don't require the action and other peelrequired morsels, say, the banana, run a much simpler process. Peel and orange takes work, it takes initiative and it takes getting peel stuck in your fingernails for upward of six days. If you make that much of a sacrifice to eat a Florida-dwelling snack, you best stick to it. We have standards. So maybe I do live a simple life, but I know a trial when I see one. And if I have seen anything troublesome in my life, it is the risk take when indulging in the pulp and juice conglomerate than is an orange. Happy peeling. Steve Schwartzman is a senior in communication studies and linguistics. When he isn't trying too hard to make people laugh he is usually watching sports, watching 90's cartoons or experiencing all things Aggie Life. Got a good idea for Steve to rant about? Hit him up at steve.schwartzman@ aggiemail.usu.edu or on Twitter @SchwartZteve NNIttr USU Shourin Admissions $18 at the door, or buy in advance at: Al's Sporting Goods & CSA Arts Box Office, Chase Fine Arts Center or arts usu edu A SOUR ORANGE ruined the author's day. He blamed the disappointment on the citrus's peel. Stock photo Get a FREE mid-week all season lift ticket to The Canyons- $105 value! PLUS a subscription to "Ski" Magazine for every paid attendee! WOLFDOG: Owner has close relationship with her rare pet ► From page 4 has been involved with wolves and wolfdogs for approximately two years and has also worked with Lockwood Animal Rescue Center. She said she worked with Wolf Mountain in Lucerne Valley, where she said the animators from Twilight went and gained their inspiration for their wolves. A native of Trabuco Canyon in Southern California, Kraus studied at BYU-Idaho before coming to USU, where she earned her bachelors' degree in illustration with emphases on creative writing and publishing. After graduating, she worked for Blizzard Entertainment in the video game industry for two years but felt a need for a change of pace. "I really wanted a change of scenery," she said. "I didn't want to contribute to an industry that was wasting peoples' lives. It's investing people in a virtual world when they're missing out on the real world." Kraus said when she looked at USU and saw the impactful, well thought out and influential natural resources program, she knew it was where she wanted to go. "It's been a great area to have him in," said Kraus. "I was pleasantly surprised with the hospitality of the people. Kraus said the warmth of people in their reception of Damu has helped her to be more ambitious in her goal to eventually open an education and research facility. With this facility, she'd like to further study the relationship of wolves to wolfdogs, perform conservation work and bridge the interaction gap between humans and wolves. "I'd love to open in Logan," said Kraus. "It would be a great opportunity to provide volunteer and internship opportunities for both schools and individuals." Kraus and Damu have a very close relationship and have been together since he was a pup. Aside from Kraus's time during classes, they spend nearly all day together, going on runs in the morning, roaming campus to help Damu socialize and even occasionally sleeping in the same bed, though Kraus said Damu usually prefers the couch. "He teaches me more than I teach him," said Kraus. Kraus said Damu has helped her to gain confidence and overcome her naturally shy nature, as well as to practice principles of communication she can apply in many aspects of her life. "I've learned to be more aware of my surroundings and interact with people," she said. "I'm more willing to sit back and weigh things out before I approach situations. I also have more confidence and have learned to put myself out there more through having him." For those seeking to acquire a wolf-dog of their own, Kraus said she would recommend it, but advises the potential owners get educated on the subject prior to buying. "I support wolfdog ownership," she said. "You just really need to do your research on the breed." Raising Damu has not been easy for Kraus, though she said the benefits of seeing her dedication manifested in Damu's transformation has been rewarding and far outweighs any negative experiences she has had in the process. "You see what you've sown in training translated through the animal," she said. "He can be a crazy little hellion at times, but it makes your bond stronger and it's a team effort." An extensive network of wolfdog owners can be found on Facebook, which Kraus said has been a vital support system for her. "It's not always rainbows, butterflies and puppy clouds," she said. "I could not have done it without my network and the experiences of others." -calewp@gmail.com Twitter: @Calewp October 23rd 6pm-9pm Mocktails, Dessert & Mystery $7.50 per person October 25th 6pm-9pm Dinner & Mystery $15.00 per person $30.00 per couple choose from 3 entrees when purchasing a ticket Purchase Tickets October 1st 25th Taggart Student Center Room 232 For more information contact 435-797-1701 Reservations Only--limited seating available DINING SERVICES utahstateuniversity |