OCR Text |
Show 1166:44 06•107 Page AggieLife Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2012 I WHEN THE POWER RANGERS MOVIE took a tragic turn, the author cried. This is one of the reasons he believes he is without a mate. Stock photo OCT 26TH AND 27TH, 7:30 P.M. ELLEN ECCLES THEATER, LOGAN 77ckets yg4101421 icy tickets at theater Lox office or call 752-0026 1411 attendants are encoarapotto wear thefn own cosfame. •wwwcrciallet.ori • Finding the pros to single life The only honest way to kick start this column is with two words that are beyond cliche: I'm single. Now, I know most of you are shocked. I mean, how is it that lady-types aren't ripping down my front door, sidewalls and any and all forms of weather stripping in an effort to score some lovin' time with the over aged college senior with a Pepsi belly, spotty sideburns and whose favorite possession is his real-fruit juice extractor (no, not the Jack Lalanne one, stop asking.) It may not be uncommon, but I have been ever baffled by my inability to find a wholesome hug mate who will stick around after finding out I cried when Zordon almost died in the "Power Rangers" movie. I say this understanding why such environments are so. After all, pity parties aside, I am very far from the prototype dream husband. I am not tall, dark or handsome, and I find romance putrid - I'm often noted stating my favorite love story is "Forrest Gump" because one of them dies and that adds somehow. It goes on. I get excessively perturbed when someone doesn't respect my music taste, I can't play an instrument, I'm not a good dancer, I think "Harry Potter" is overrated, I don't have an accent, I bite my nails in public, I never learned a language on my mission, I'm weird around prospective in laws because they smell like lawn mowers, and more than not I don't care for other people's feelings, at least this is what my ex-girlfriend told me, though I still blame it on the fact I didn't react as exuberantly as she demanded when she introduced me to her pet rat. Long story short, I think I'm a good guy, I'm just not Hugh Grant, and until that day comes (floppy mid part hair- To top it all off, there is so much more to life than romance. Relationships come and go, and who knows if you'll ever see the end of the road, but never forget there will always be belt buckles, "A Team" reruns, fantasy football, throwing eggs at things, throwing other things at things, and the sun shining in your face. Take it from someone who has dated every conceivable type of girl and done everything short of love potions and re-enacting "Doug's First Movie" and still come short of "the one," "the two," "the three hundred," or even "the willaccept-cash-on-delivery." Your princess will come, and if it happens to only occur when beating "Zelda" then so be it. Yep, it's the life. Sure, I would more than welcome an opportunity of bringing a wholesome female into my life, but until then I am content acting as if. And in case you think you are that wholesome female, no pet rats. That's a deal-breaker. - style and all) I can pretty much be done cashing in any efforts of landing a wife. Now, why am I willing to display this discourse of doldrums in a humor column of all mediums? Because I know I am not alone. I am one in a throng of those who are bereft of affection because we fail to meet the standards "Tangled" set for us. To all those fellow solitary lifers, this is my message to you, my credo of hope that the sun will soon rise and you are free to smile. Sure, your bow-hunting hobby may not land Miss America, and you may never see things through with the soft-spoken hipster types who love the same movies you do and make your soul feel free simply because you consider red meat a food group. You may long for the feeling of a companion and it just may never come, but you don't have to be miserable. Honestly, you don't, and it'll all change with one simple mindset: if it is the taken lifestyle you crave, simply act as if. Call me crazy, but it is the best of both worlds. Trust me on this, the lofty pain of lonely wears off quickly once you experience the comfort of a relationship without having to actually deal with the relationship. Just picture it; you can wear knitted sweaters simply because they are fun rake leaves in. You can make dinner-for-two when it is really dinnerfor-one-and-instantlunch-tomorrow. When it is cold and windy outside and you get the shivers you can take off your coat and put it on you. You can go to midweek recitals and be honest if it bombed because you won't be marrying anyone in the orchestra. Just last week I took myself to a private lookout just to throw rocks I got a good view and my lips never got chapped, it was miraculous. It's the fun of the ball without the angst of the chain. 9°P69‘ - steve.schwartzman@ aggiemail.usu.edu DISC OVE R THE WORLD USU STUDY ABROAD FAIR rp • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 9 2012 TSC INTERNATIONAL LOUNGE, 10 am-2 pm utahStateuniversity OFFICE OF STUDY ABROAD MS 118. 797-0601. www.usuieduistudyabroad Corn Maw Corn Maze is 20 Acres! • Lots of NEW Activities with each admission purchased Twocandybarspercoupon.Notto .1 ,! Adult (age 12 & up) $6 Kids (age 3-11) $4 I er offers" At\ Haunted Nights $1 more 0- f _ Each Every Fri & Sat starting Sept 28th Admission .-- -IL—) rates not available ,-2 Plus three shots on the cannon 1 2850 North 200 East • North Logan Group on Haunted Nights. (Turn East at Quality Auto, Next to the Eccles Ice Arena) up to 2 people with coupon Not to be combined with other offers. Good thru 9/30/12 mmatelifaityonFarrns.c Make it SPECIAL, Make it LL) eine Amavida, which literally means "love for life" is a collection of some of the world's most intricately detailed and breathtaking diamond rings. When you've found that perfect love, its Amavida. This line of perfect keepsakes will embody and mirror this flawless sense of the word. To As/ 'S VW1LE ANSWER S 111 A MD MUM MECHEM ©0©O A MMEI EOM R DR D© pop p Amami A A Emi 0 P PORMM DM 0 R EMI R UDDO D 0 0 R A mum A P A P R AD D B °ADE' mAmmoAppmARAmmo A uomm pAmmm Dom Eau R EMU ME !MUM R B mum P mum maim mmAmmpRumu mAmo A 0 0 A P A A R 'mom DOD DUDA oRMM MDA MMMR Introducing Medium 2 1 9 6 8 3 7 5 4 6 4 7 5 1 2 3 8 9 8 5 3 4 9 7 6 2 1 7 8 4 9 2 1 5 6 3 5 6 2 7 3 4 1 9 8 3 9 1 8 5 6 2 4 7 9 3 5 2 7 8 4 1 6 4 7 8 1 6 5 9 3 2 1 2 6 3 4 9 8 7 5 AMAVIDA aria ci 61116(1y 930 N. Main Logan, -Of 435-753-9755 |