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Show AggieLife Page 6 Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2011 Fantasy sports, Steve style CHOCOLATE BREAD IS A TREAT that you can eat for breakfast or for a snack.The ingredients are basic, so it can be made quickly for a party or unexpected visitors. If eaten for breakfast, a cream cheese spread compliments it perfectly. JENNELLE CLARK photo illustration Chocolate bread with a PB spread When I was a kid, I wanted to be a grownup. I wanted to be allowed to eat in the living room, ride my bike without having to wear a helmet and stay up as late as I wanted. I begged my parents to let me get my ears pierced so I could wear real earrings instead of clip-ons. I couldn't wait to be older so I could do whatever I wanted. I wanted to eat chocolate cake for breakfast, never have to do chores, wear high heels and be allowed to go to the mall without grown-ups. You know what? It is pretty great — being grown-up, I mean. Shaving my legs is a time sucker and since I like being alive, I still wear a helmet when I ride my bike; but I also stay up late and eat chocolate cake for breakfast every once in a while. I pretend it's bread because it's made in a loaf pan, which definitely means it meets the criteria for breakfast. Plus, it goes great with a peanut butter cream cheese spread, which is totally not the same thing as frosting. I mean, people put cream cheese on bagels and call it breakfast, right? If you haven't been appreciating the liberties you have as a grown-up and sophisticated college student, you should take a moment to think about all the things you're allowed to do these days. And then you should make this chocolate loaf cake and eat it for breakfast. Just live it up. Own it. It's fun being old, right? Double Chocolate Loaf Cake with Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Spread For the Cake: 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 3/4 cup white sugar 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1 1/2 cups flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 2 eggs + 1 egg yolk 3/4 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1 teaspoon vanilla 8 ounces chocolate chips or chopped chocolate For the Peanut Butter Spread: 5 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature "See GROWN-UP, Page 7 Long Live Surmer ■ \NW SF UNLIMITED tanning, $ I 7.95 s A 4 — Bi-Weekly portsAcademy &Racquet Club THE FIRST 25 STUDENTSTO SIGN UP RECEIVE A FREE SPORTS ACADEMY MEMBERSHIP sportsacademy.com 1655 N 200 E, North Logan, Utah I 435-753-7500 Offer expires September 30th Workout Where Your Friends Workout! Basketball Racquetball Over 100 Group Fitness Classes Yoga Zumba Pilates Spinning Tonic Fitness Indoor/Outdoor Pools Jacuzzi Sauna Steam Room Indoor Track Massage Facials Body Wraps and so much more! I'm a guy. I like to watch sports. I figured I might as well cut the relish and state the obvious. However, I can't say I enjoy watching sports, as much as I enjoy talking about sports. Most EPSN-ers like me follow the same pattern. We may never have the gall to run a QB sneak on a fourth-and-one or hit a 12-to-6 curve ball; but believe me when I say, we can analyze the electrolytes out of it from here to Lake Placid. We're a lot like Jimmy the Greek, without the whole being-addicted-toeverything thing. There's no better proof of this than can be found in studying fantasy football. Honestly. The triumph and splendor of artificially following the progress of a tight end, one wouldn't normally care about, for the sake of bragging rights among buddies at the workplace, apartment, most bus stops and in He-Man Woman Haters Club meetings, is generally all the acceptance I need to feel good about my place in society. There's only one problem. In an event more tragic than simply confusing, my 2011 fantasy team stinks. And I mean reeks, worse than one of those creature things you'd see on an episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" One of my best players is hurt, and I have quite possibly the most inconsistent quarterback this side of Shane Falco. In just about every way things look downright glum. In lieu of this, I have three possible remedies — do some research and improve my team, hang up my boots and focus on something more productive to society or, most popularly, create my own fantasy-style league with something I know I can master. With the obvious notion that I'm choosing the last of these options, welcome to the first ever '90s Sitcom Fantasy League. First and foremost, here are some rules and regulations: 1. Each player must draft one person for each position; scores will be specific to each position then added up for a total score. 2. Points added for catchy theme songs, dramatic PSA announcements at end of episodes, and Sinbad cameos. 3. No points awarded for "Friends" characters. Any points will be deducted for "Frasier" characters, since nobody liked that show anyway. The positions are as follows: The Well-Balanced Protagonist (WBP) — Not a ton to question here. The WBP is the starting quarterback of any '90s fantasy team. With its emotional balance, well-timed wit and ability to diffuse dry humor at a moments notice, it's well said no team can survive without one. Points awarded for monologue length, lessons learned and catch phrase/ comeback comparison percentages. WBP Draft Probables (in order): Jerry Seinfeld, Zack Morris, Cory Matthews, Alf, Will Smith, Blossom, that guy from "Coach". The Disciplined Authoritative Figure (DAF) — This falls under many categories, whether it be a parent, school teacher or "Charles in Charge." A good DAF knows the rules and *See TV DRAFT, Page 7 NowPlaying What:i wz, goat plagliztP Name: Francisca Pena Hometown: Coalville, Utah Major: Agriculture Year: Senior 1. Ohio is for Lovers — Hawthorne Heights 2. Don't Stop Believin' — Journey 3. It Just Comes Natural — George Strait 4. Weightless — All Time Low 5. Dirt Road Anthem — Jason Aldean 6. When the Stars Go Blue — Tim McGraw 7. Beautiful Love — The Afters 8. Back Where I Come From — Kenny Chesney 9. Language Lessons — Hawthorne Heights 10. Country Girl (Shake It For Me) — Luke Bryan Your Club! Your Results! Your Life! Each week The Statesman will find one student listening to his or her iPod and see what is playing on their playlist. - Information compiled by Jimena Herrero |