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Show Page 7 AggieUte Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008 Power and information central to the male communication By SETH R.HAWKINS editor in chief It may come as no surprise that men and women communicate differently, but the reason may be the result of a difference of communication goals, said Jennifer Peeples, associate professor of speech communication. While much research in this area of communication is stereotyped, Peeples said, men and women approach communication with very different goals in mind, and "when you look at those main goals, you can understand a lot." "Men, stereotypically of course, communicate in general to impart information," Peeples said. "They do that both in terms of work situations, which makes sense, and even in more interpersonal situations or intimate settings. They communicate to tell Man R someone something specific, and if they don't have information to share, they have the tendency to be quiet." This is in stark contrast to the communication style of women, who tend to focus communication on building relationships, calling just to check in and see how things are going in a relationship, Peeples said. "Men sometimes discount that information because they think, 'You're not telling me anything that I can use. Where's the information part about what you're telling me?' Women get frustrated with men because men who don't have information to impart will then be quiet and won't talk because they're not thinking in terms of, well, we just talk to each other to maintain relationships." But this may not always be the case. Brian Ballam, sophomore in international business, said, "I guess when you're in a formal setting or a classroom, you notice a lot of the times the guys blurt out things whereas the girls are more tentative, more quiet. We want more attention 1 guess. 1 pretty much say whatever's on my mind." Keeping these differences of the purpose of communication in mind may explain the listening habits of men, Peeples said. Men are often accused of not listening, but this is not because men aren't listening, rather because they are listening for a different reason from what a female may be talking for, she said. Women may be talking to build a relationship, while a man may be looking for any information that is pertinent to him. Peeples said, and because of this search for information, men may not give encouraging nods and maintain constant eye contact - typical visual signs ot listening for a woman. "Oftentimes men are accused of not listening because they don't listen like women do," Peeples said. "They may very well be listening, but they're not making eye contact, and they're not nodding. I would say that men probably listen as well as women, but often get accused for not listening because they don't do it visually or audibly. As men are listening for information, they're less likely to do the parts that make the speaker kind of feel good." Danielle Cutler, sophomore in history, said she thinks listening skills aren't uniform for men, with some men doing a better job than others. "I think my guy friends who grew up with lots of sisters are the best listeners that I know," Cutler said. "They listen really well. My brothers, there are lots of boys in my family, aren't so great. I think growing up with girls makes all the difference as far as being good listeners." One area of male cornmunicalion that is often misunderstood by women is when men play devil's advocate, Peeples said. This form of communication involves humor and playful banter, she said. Men engage in devil's advocacy to come up with ;i belter solution to a problem, with the reasoning that if Haws are shown in an idea, it can be fixed and a better idea overall can be created, she said. "When men come together and do it with each other, everyone understands the rules," Peeples said. "Feelings don't get hurt because if you say, 'That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard,' you know that you arc not calling the other person stupid, and this is an imitation for discussion. You sav to I See MALE, page 14 Card is the Totin' Chip for life eal men carry cards. Women carry cards too, but somehow massive debt and department stores seem to be connected with this. Men may carry plastic as well, but the card I'm talking about is a specially issuea card - the Man Card. I'm a card-carrying member of the Benevolent Order of the Chest Hair (BOCH). Contrary to popular belief, there is a lot required to be a true man. Sure, about half the population of the world is made up of men, so naturally you'd think they'd all qualify to be part of BOCH. And you'd be wrong, dead wrong. It's one thing to have all the anatomy of man, and it's quite another to be a member of BOCH. I've already discussed some areas of the Man Code - though there are plenty other areas to be expounded upon - but the Man Card merits some explanation. When I was a teenager, I was a member of the Boy Scouts of America. Even though I eventually earned my Eagle - the day before they kicked me out of Scouts - I wasn't really into the whole scouting thing. I hated earning merit badges, and I always resented when our scoutmaster tied us to a tree in the middle of a dense forest and left us for dead. Even with all the negative things, 1 enjoyed the camping, knot tying, orienteering, woodcarving and building fires using enough lighter fluid to keep the grills in half of Louisiana burning for a month. One of the proudest moments in my life was when I got my first pocketknife. It brought out some sort of primal urge in me to go kill something and mount it on my bedroom wall while savagely tearing meat off the bones with my teeth. Just writing that rose my testosterone levels. But the leaders of BSA know all about this urge - mostly because they have the same deal - and came up with a way to save all the animals whenever scouts go camping by creating the Totin' Chip. This wallet-sized card has to be earned by demonstrating principles of proper knife handling and authorizes a scout to cut away. However, if a scout abuses this privilege or doesn't follow proper cutting techniques, a corner is cut the card. Once all corners are gone, the card is destroyed and the scout has to reapply for a new card. The Man Card is the Totin' Chip of manliness. As such, it is not a birthright as some believe. This card has to be earned. The first step to earning a Man Card is to take upon you the BOCH oath. This is done by flexing your right bicep and grunting - or burping - the oath: "On my honor, 1 will do my best to do my duty to manliness and testosterone and to obey the Man Code at all times; to help other men increase their manliness; to keep myself muscular, bearded and never succumb to womanly pressure." This is a solemn oath to be taken in all seriousness and must be performed in the sight of two other men. Once the oath has been taken, you are then given a Man Card permit. I have attached a temporary Man Card permit with this column that you can clip out. It's a permit because a true Man Card must be created by the man himself, and must be constructed of duct tape, steel, wood or the bones of some endangered animal. The Man Card need not be carried but must be presented when demanded by another man who questions your manliness. Note: A woman cannot demand you; Man Card-they just don't understand a testosterone rush. Like the Totin' Chip, if an offense is grave enough, violations of the Man Code in particular, a corner will be cut off the Man Card. After five violations, your Man Card will be torn in two and you will have to reapply with the new requirement that you must bench press your body weight plus 50 pounds. Some possible violations include talking to another man in a restroom, willingly watching a chick flick without hopes of getting something out of the suffering, wearing a pink shirt, owning any album by the Backstreet Boys or *NSYNC or watching male figure skating. Not only can corners be taken off for infractions, but also notches can be made in the card - preferably with a hatchet - for anything particularly manly, like growing a beard, chopping down a quarter of a forest with only your pocketknife, burping the ABCs in less than 20 seconds and learning how to play speed metal on an electric guitar. The Man Card is an important aspect of being a man and being included in the BOCH. This card should be carried with pride and honor. So cut out this Man Card permit, take the oath and create your own custom Man Card. In the meantime, I'll be carving in another notch in my titanium Man Card for restringing my electric guitar and practicing Metallica again. CD Seih Hawkins is a senior majoring in public relations. 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