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Show The Utah Stat fe'Are We Done Yet?' « Pre-Emgtive - Critics 1 know this film's title lends itself to a certain brand of criticism far too easily, but what the heck: Seeing the words "Are We Done Yet?" flash across the big screen will probably lead you to wonder why you decided to give up some of your hard-earned cash on an originally promising Friday evening when you'start asking your; self the same exact question. *-v 'Grindhouse' ^ * Creating two movies, showing them together and calling it a double feature all seems like a ploy to me. But Quentin Tarantino is behind this double feature, and that means that somewhere in this whole mess called "Grindhouse" is a sea of sex, violence and nudity. There is also a girl with a gun for a leg. This scared me a little at first, but I'm not dating her, so the gun is cool. What's more, Kurt Russell plays something other than a kid-friendly super-dad. This is cool too, and not just because I am not romantically involved with him. The trailer is only two minutes long, but just watching all the mad driving and violence that Tarantino can pack into two minutes makes me feel a little like either Smoky or the Bandit, or maybe both - because if this movie makes any point at all, it is that the best things come in twos. Twice the movie, twice the pre-emptive. I tip my hat (twice) to Tarantino, and I pre-emptively love "Grindhouse." -by Zach Pendieton/zpendleton@cc.usu,edu Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, the summer-family-camping-adventure film pretty much peaked with John Candy's Dear-filled romp "The Great Outdoors." Audiences certainly weren't lining up to watch either "RV" or "Cheaper by the Dozen 2," and critics didn't warm to the idea of even the most accomplished comedians trading in their credibility for a tent and a fishing pole. It certainly didn't work for Robin Williams or Steve Martin. Somehow, I don't think Ice Cube, the rapperturned-actor responsible for the "Friday" series, is going to fare much better. And those computer-generated animals with exaggerated reactions have to be the most bizarre family film gimmicks to confound movie-goers since the birth of the live-action Dr. Suess adaptation. : .;,* 'i'\%.£f&>. I pre-emptively hate this movie. " '"* " L " v '~^ -by Mack Perry/'mackp@cc.usu.edu The Reaping' Let's be honest. The Ten Plagues of Egypt are a little blase". I think God should update them to get with the times a bit. Rivers turning to blood: How about rivers turning to Red Bull? It's just as gross but edgy for the extreme crowd. Amphibians: Itches in that place on your back you can't reach. •rJ Lice: Movies with Hillary Swank. *r<> " '; Flies: The flies on everyone pants get permanently stuck in the down position. % Disease of livestock: Disease of Woodstock. If you catch it — BOOM — you're a hippy. . Unhealable boils: Unwashable s(cid marks. •.%• Hail mixed with fire: Peanut M&Ms mixed in with the plain ones. I hate that. Locusts: One million gerbils! No toilet paper rolls would be safe. _• ,. . _ . ; Darkness: Emo kids. Lots of them. '^ ***r-'^ ••': »^ivDeath of the first born: Let's leave the first born alone. We — I mean they — have enough stress. Actually let's give the first born a cookie. We can punch the second born right in the neck for all the times they got the first born in trouble. Man that'd be a sweet plague. Oh yeah, anyway, I pre-emptively hate this movie. • >> y ^ ^ ' -6y5feve.~ The pre-emptive critics write knee-jerk analyses of upcoming films based solely on hearsay, advance publicity and — most importantly— movie trailers. They have not seen the movies. ; * . - • Finally, some sports movies that The good times role for Wii owners try to be a little bit unique BY BILLY O'KEEFE KRT _ — — "Peaceful Warrior" Casey T. Allen Rated PG-13, Grade B "Pride" Rated PG-73, Grade 8+ Reel eviews I've stated before, the nonstop conveyor belt of underdog, basedon-a-true-story —•^—^^^^^^•^^— sports films is getting monotonous. But here's a film that shows us how to mix up this over-produced recipe: Just add water. Terrence Howard ("Hustle & Flow") humbly shines playing real-life man, jim Ellis, a talented swimmer who failed to reach his athletic success due to the racial prejudices of the 1960s. Ten years after his dreams sank, Ellis finds himself making ends meet in the sweaty projects of Philadelphia. And after waiting in the unemployment line, he finds himself cleaning out a dwindling community recreation center before its foreclosure. While cleaning out endless storage rooms, Ellis finds solace putting the recreation center's pool through a hearty makeover. This makeover eventually attracts a group of inner-city kids to the pool, retreating from the sweltering sun. And would you guess this juvenile group of splashers would transform into the nation's first professional African-American swim team? (Sorry to spoil the surprise, but that's what happens.) Set in the hip and colorful 1970s, these swimmers still face the prejudices that keep them from winning. But through tearful speeches and hard knocks, they learn how to represent with pride. This film helps us remember that, more important than winning, it's dedicated effort that matters. If only the story line could have been more fluid in portraying this. Featuring some intense, up-close camera shots of sloshing swim meets, "Pride" is a genuine film. Despite the jumpy progression of different plot lines, it gives us a much-needed dose of diversity and determination. Similar to Pride," this film helps mix up the underdog sports film by adding other unique ingredients to the well-known formula: chalk dust and philosophy. ^ _ _ _ Scott Mechlowicz ("EuroTrip") has presumably left his screwball comedy roles behind him, taking on a straining dramatic role here. But Mechlowicz was puzzling and inconsistent. His performance as a spoiled, frustrated college gymnast seemed too restrained and bland at times, but his ferocious energy made some scenes memorable. As the quintessential college athlete, he meets a quiet gas station attendant (Nick Nolte, "Hotel Rwanda") who inadvertently teaches him various lessons about how to live life with meaning. Such a chance encounter has an inspirational effect on the young gymnast, but it has a confusing effect on the audience. The dialogue between Nolte and Mechlowicz sounded almost as if the screenwriter plucked different cliches about life from a stack of Hallmark cards and copied them into the story. And even though this film is based on a true story, the prosaic writing makes the realism dangle dangerously and the characters develop shakily. With a handful of precarious camera shots capturing graceful movement on the dusty pommel horse and delicate rings, "Peaceful Warrior" attempts to be an inspirational sports film as well as an abstract art film. Director Victor Salva ("Jeepers Creepers") achieves success in these two genres only in a few scenes. Other scenes are simply too predictable or too abstract to make sense. The potpourri of philosophical instruction, from the annoyingly exhausted and sagacious Nolte, could have been downsized, Without all that jargon, "Peaceful Warrior" would have been breezier and easier on the audience. It doesn't get a perfect 10, but it provides a calloused, supporting example of self discovery and self victory. Send comments to Casey T. Allen, movie critic, at caseyal@cc.usu.edu Tivo top 20 shows for the week of April 6 1. "Grey's Anatomy" 2. "American Idol" 3. "Desperate Housewives" 4. ''Lost" 5. "House" 6. "24" 7. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" 8. "CSI: Miami" 9. "The Sopranos" 10. "Survivor: Fiji" 11. "ER" 12. "The Office" 13. "Boston Legal" 14. "Medium" 'Afl engagement ringsON SALE! 15. "Brothers & Sisters" 16. "Dancing With the Stars" 17. "My Name Is Earl" 18. "Criminal Minds". 19- "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" 20. "CSI: NY" Anyone still aching for a sequel to the Game Boy's brilliant "Kirby Tilt ' n ' Tumble" can put away the ice pack, at least for a while. "Kororinpa: Marble Mania's" arcadelike levels set it apart from "Tumble's" adventure-game stylings, but the fundamental resemblance is otherwise unmistakable. The object of "Mania" is to guide a marble around a game board, collect a handful of gems, and reach the goal as quickly as possible without falling off the board and into marble oblivion. If that sounds exactly like "Super Monkey Ball," here's the difference: You control the board rather than the marble, tilting it any number of 360 degrees in any direction to rail the marble toward the goal. You can make the From page 6 "It's just too dangerous and too many things could happen. If someone says they're not sure, I just move on," he said. "But there are guys, they want to do this as their vacation and adventure, or for a sense of achievement. I think a lot of the fisherman respect them, working the same hours, having to be a step ahead." The Cornelia Marie wasn't initially scheduled to be on "Deadliest Catch." Harris appeared on the first season when he answered a friend's distress call. The Big Valley made headlines when it sank and five crewmen died. "We're looking for bodies until 2 p.m., then an hour later I gotta think about crabbing," Harris said. "I don't let the guys on deck know, but I'm up there shaking like a leaf. It affects you, but you can't let it affect your job, because then it's going to be someone on your boat getting hurt." A similarly harrowing accident starts out Season 3 of "Deadliest Catch." When the Ocean Challenger sank in October 2006, just one of four crew members survived. Cameras catch the lone survivor's shock as the bodies of his dead co-workers are pulled up into the Coast Guard helicopter with him. TV producer Conroy said fans are drawn to the show because, as with NASCAR, /^Professional Quality nCCCSSQYICS Store Hours Hovday - Saturday 12*00-WW printing for the Big A. Business Forms ^.Thesis, dissertations ^Wedding Invitations & Accessories 7i North Main Sfewt 'TSO-NYJQ rom the Tabernacle) J there are larger-than-life personalities and constant anticipation of a crash. Besides the added stress of having two extra people on his boat, Harris said the TV show hasn't changed how he runs his boat. His personal life has been forever altered, though, mostly by the unexpected deluge of female fans. "I think they're home and look at their situation, probably been married 15 years or 20 years, their husband's got a beer belly, and then here we are, just a different breed of cat," Harris said. "They don't see the downside of it. They don't see all the nights my wife sat up and bawled her head off because she wasn't sure I'd be coming home." Harris' favorite fans are people he respects - firefighters, police officers - who also admire what he does. But Harris doesn't believe he's any sort of hero. In fact, he said he isn't even that great of a fisherman. He owes a lot to luck, and to his crew. Harris said he will fish for crab at least a couple more years to recover financially from his most recent divorce. Then he'll turn the controls over, he hopes to his sons. "I keep doing this and doing this and my number's going to come up," Harris said. "I'd just as soon quit in one piece. Get Back to Square One. UNDER fm.n Day. 630 West O/1E p r i n T i n B 200 North 753-8875 and what those achievements unlock, is what makes "Mania" such a fun game to play and replay. (If you disagree, you nave a problem; "Mania" will end in a few hours for you.) "Mania's" themed areas are rich with personality and pretty pleasing to the eye, and the levels are smartly designed so as to engage players of different pedigrees. (Yes, two-player split-screen is available.) But the game's most inspired feature may be its selection of unlockable marbles, which vary in theme (traditional, animal faces, sports and more) and attributes. The pig marble, for instance, is noisy but ideal for unsteady hands, while the basketball is faster but perilously bouncy. The footballshaped marble, meanwhile, speaks more to Hudson's sense of humor than anything else. • CRABS Your Best Choice for Wedding Invitations Everyringpriced marble "jump" with a quick wrist flick, but that's it. "Tumble" did this with an embedded motion sensor attachment, but "Mania" merely requires the Wiimote. Hold it level, and the board stays put. Tilt forward, and the board nudges forward. And so on. Happily, precision never is an issue: The game registers everything from twitches to flips with remarkable accuracy. But while "Tumble's" technology severely limited your tilting power, "Mania" lets you go nuts and flip the entire board over if it befits you. Some optional but rewarding secondary gems crop up throughout the game, and you have to perform some fancy axis acrobatics to collect them. It's never required, nor is achieving a gold-medal time a requisite for advancing to the next level. But the pursuit of such achievements, APARTMENTS Summer Rent $425! |