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Show The Fanny Page A collection of student-produced & syndicated comics. Tasha's love affair with health food and cleanliness became a reckless obsession when she began guzzling wheat germ shampoo." O^jKeM&agl r WHAT'S THE POINT OF BUZZCQT LAWN? WHO CARES IF YOUR LAWN IS TWO INCHES HIGH OR TWO FEET HIGH? ITISTHEJUOGttENT OF THIS COURT THAT ERNIE MCK&f HATH FAILEO TO MAINTAIN AYARPHEIOHTOF EXACTLY215INCHES... Off ' MTH NOT THE urnssLUE HIS MEPS/i "Whoa, Mr. Flatow, calm downl When I said I was fooling around with your wife, it was merely a way of conducting a stress test." ffj' G>ooD, To ONES/... I REALLY, REALLY, ^ ^ NBEPTH UTJIESLUE ONES' m /~f~f-*h-Lliie/ 1 / lit ' / 1 •^TQvI/OS', -r i SBSsr^HM, ..^i«i OH, WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO BE CALLED A HONEYEATER OR A CAESARSALADEATER... OF Trie f&amrfWafner chlin V) rip wmh3 3 Q. 5» u E o uai RELATIVES OF THE "BLUEBlRP OF HAPPINESS" THE 6REEN BIRD OF OUEA6IME55 THE YEILOW BIRP OF LAZINE55 THE REP BIRP OF PORKIME66 FOR THE SWWEK I'P SEE ALU < W flP/ENR5 AW W9V JUST SfTAKOUNPIW TALK A&OUT USE7 TO TO. JC 4312 Child Care 1284 Roofer S8-S12/hr.BOE 4314 Sprinkler Repair BOE 0090 Handyman S6/hr 4315 Lot Attendant/detail Dept $7/nr 4253 Live In Help DOE 4254 Yardworker/ Handiman negotitable 0015 Carpet Cleaning Tech $7.50 +bo1076 Assistant Manager S l l - S l 2 / h r BOE nus 0849 Carpenter $9/Tir & BOE 2282 Data Collection Specialist $7-10 4258 Nanny In Nyc $250/week+room & 4090 Telephone Sales Rep/ Customer board Service $22,000/year 0802 As- Is Worker S5.15 up to 7.85/iir 4316 Yard Care Worker negotitable 0797 Laundry Worker $5.15 up to 7.85/hr 4317 Jr. Network Administrator 1045 Cashier $5.15 up to 7.85/hr 4318 People Development Services Spe0323 Sales Floor Worker/ Flow Through cialist Worker $5.15 up to 7.85/hr 0522 Yard Work $8/hr. 4267 Part-time Telesales 1974 Cashier DOE 0119 Steel Yard Worker $9/hr 4319 Bicycle Mechanic/ Sales BOE 4195 OiKall Youth Counselor $8/hour 4321 Pest Control & Lawn Care Techs. 4269 Math Tutor: 4th-6th Grade negoti$8-10/hr. table 4322 Maintenance $6.50/hr 4280 On Site Evening Assistant Room 4323 Language Tutor (tndian Or Arabic) +S3OO/month negotiable 2101 Sales And Delivery Negotiable 4324 Support Staff $7 4281 Financial Services Neg. 4325 Property Tech. (cemetery Emphasis) 0326 Customer Service/Food Service $ 6 / $9.31 BOE hr + BOE 1444 Bridal Consultant BOE 0526 Delivery $7.00 -$8.00/hr 3083 Apartment Manager BOE 1345 Marketing Assistant 4326 Sales hourly or commission 1359 Bus Fuelers & Cleaners $8.20/hr to 4327 Customer Service Representative start $6/hr. 2367 Cashier S6/hr 4328 Weekend Victim Advocate 4284 Counter Help 4285 Medical Office Receptionist 4286 Office Specialist I $8.04-9.77/hr 4288 Graphic Designer BOE 4289 Sales Manager Commission (details CLASSIFIED AD DEADLINES are one workneg) ing day prior to the day of publication is 4290 Asp Developer BOE desired by 10 a.m. Cost per submis4291 Junior Marketing Assistant $8/hr sion is 20 cents per word $2 minimum. 4293 Office Manager $9/hr Minimum of three publications per ad. 4287 Property Technician (seasonal) Reduced rates for quantity insertions $8.04/Tir are available. Commercial rates vary, 4294 Aba Tutor depending on frequency. VISA, Master4296 Mechanical Or Manufacturing Intern card and Discover are also accepted for 0234 Household Help $7/hr payment. Use 797-1775 to place phone 0424 Life Skills Instructor $7.00 after trainads. Advertisers should carefully read ing the classified ad form. TSC 105. The 0689 Customer Service Rep. $8.25-9.75/ Utah Statesman reserves the right to rehr fuse any ad, display or classified. The 1716 Legal Secretary based on experiUtah Statesman has authority to edit and ence locate any classified ad as deemed ap4179 Customer Service Rep $8.50/hr propriate. 4292 Copywriter SlO/hr 0181 Floral Delivery Negotiable 2219 Part-time Youth Counselor $8.50/ hour 2239 Sales Person Hourly+Commission Prof/tech position supporting soil conserva2284 Youth Counselor $8.50/hr tion programs in Davis, Weber, Morgan, 4300 Machinist S11-S24 Tooele, Salt Lake counties. BS degree in 4298 Night Auditor DOE soil, watershed, natural resources, or ag 4301 Quality Technician $10.50/ hr and related mgmt exp. Full-time w/ben4302 Sales Rep commission efits. UACD, 1860 N 100 E, Logan, UT 4303 Summer Jobs 84341 1024 Mover $8.00/Tir starting BOE 1889 Moving Supervisor/Manager S8-S10 $800 weekly guaranteed stuffing enveBOE +Bonus lopes, Send a self-addressed stamped 2050 Construction Laborer BOE . envelope to SCARAB Marketing, 28 East 4305 Salesperson.$6.50 Jackson, 10th Floor, Suite 938, Chicago, 2365 Driver $5.15+tips & mileage Illinois 60604 4304 Cook $6.50/hr 4306 Servers & Cooks Negotiable AGSneedjobs.com 4307 Bar Help Negotiable We need Paid Survey Takers in Logan. 0083 Auto Detailer $7.00/hr 100% FREE. To join click on Surveys 1137 Full Time Care Givers BOE 4313 Crew Team Member BOE Paid internships available for Fall semester 4308 Disabilities Specialist $10.33-Sl 3.82 in DC. Pick up applications from Cindy BOE Nielsen, Old Main 341. Interviews for 4309 Family Service Specialist $10.33Fall semester in Senators' Hatch and $13.82 BOE Bennett's office will be April 10th. 4310 Preschool Teacher $8.68-$ 13.82 BOE 4311 Preschool Teacher Assistant S7.29$13.03 BOE Please Note Tired of your current job? Local construction company seeks highly motivated and well-skilled office manager. Must have excellent Microsoft Word and Excel skills. Prior office experience needed. If interested call AWS Engineering. 435-563-2522 Private individual desires to hire a full time private teacher for his two eight year old twins. Room, board and competitive salary will be provided for the right candidate. The location of the position is Star Valley, Wyoming, located 60 miles south of Jackson. Wyoming. Qualifications include a degree in elementary education and the ability to become certified in the State of Wyoming. Salary negotiable dependent upon qualifications. Please send resume to: Pam Clement, 8owers Associates, P.O. Box 1550, Afton, WY 83110. Telephone: (307) 885-2266, Facsimile: (307) 8850641. Jobs available now! Actors, Extras, Models! $72-$710 Daily Member BBB, Free Acting workshop's. 8 0 1 438-0067. for Rent Duplex, 2 bedroom, washer/dryer and satellite included, big front room, for $475 per month. 770-9794. Sweet One bedroom cottage for rent. $350 per month. Great location. wwww.loganscoolest landlord.com. 770-5156. Several contracts available. $575/entire summer Fully furnished, washer, dryer, Summer and/or fall. The most beautiful women's student housing in Logan. Gorgeous kitchen and bath with granite countertops. stone basin, oak hardwood floors, main floor laundry and just two blocks off campus. Shar housing and utilities with five other girls. Summer rate $175 per contract month for private and shared rooms. NS, ND, NP Call Jenneane 7554802 $425 summer, $2,200 school year, FOREST GATE WEST #17-40. 4 6 0 North 400 East, private bedrooms, new carpet, dishwasher, stoves, blinds, summer/school year discount. 752-1516. Sign up now! Brooklane Apartments 645 East 9 0 0 North, Close to USU 753-7227, $425 summer, $2375 school year Private bedrooms, new carpet, dishwasher, stove NSNDNP. Call now 753-7227. Newly married? Need more space? Call 752-1516. Summer only. 4 bedroom spacious a p t , Must see! New carpet, blinds, dishwasher, stove. NSNDNP. Call 752-1516 now to reserve your spoti. For Safe Duplex for sale. Washer/dryer included on both sides. Large backyard. 7709794 Yellow Lab, spayed, 2yrs, well trained, great hunting dog/family pet. Moving must sell1 AKC registered. $100 7570911 March 24 -March 30 Movie Hot Line JJ3-1900 Wanted CLASS ADS GET READ!. 2 car garage. 435-760-5621 MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS (R) 7.00. 0.05 Sol/Sun 430 Stadium & S3.1 W. 1OO M. Provide MIDNIGHT SHOWS £4.50 FRIJSAT FAILURE TO LAUNCH (PG13) 1:20.3.20, 5 20,720.9 20 FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT INSIDE MAN* (R) 100. 3:35.8.10,9.05 FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT SHE'S THE MAN* (PG)1 15.4:16. 7.00,9:15 FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT STAY ALIVE* (PG13) 1:25, 3:23. S.-25, 7;25, 0:25 FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT V FOR VENDETTA* (R) 12 40. 3:25. 8:15, BOO A FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT Y 7 CHURCH BALL* *** (PG) 1.10, 3:10. 5:10, 7r10. 9:10 FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT LARRY THE CABLE GUY' (PG) 130. 3.25, 5.20, 7:15, fl:10 A FRIDAY/ SATURDAY MIDNIGHT T 7 SHAGGY DOG *** (PG) 12 45. 2:55. 5:05, 7:10. B.16 FRIDAY/SATURDAY MIDNIGHT Buy Tickets Online ai www.n»vi6WBLconi h^todiictmnl passes or tickets accepted for these movies FAILURE TO LAUNCH (PG13)4:40. 7 10. Q.IOSatfSun 1 55 V FOR VENDETTA' (R) A 15. 6.50. 925 SaVSun 1.40 SHE'S THE MAN (PG) * .35. 7:03. 0 25 Sat/Sun 2 1 0 SHAGGY DOG (PG) 4.20, 7.03, 9.20 Sot/Sun 1.50 INSIDE MAN* (R) 4:20, 0.50. 9.20 Set/Sun 1.45 G a e l i c \Z*xall«ay 3 ' 1 0 BLOCKS (PG) 7:00. 9:05 Sol/Sun 4:20 ' EIGHT BELOW (PO) 655. 9 20 Sat/Sun 4.30 - THE HILLS HAVE EYES (R) 7:00. 9:10 Sol/Sun 1:25 • Downtown's n«w DISCOUNT Theatre Adult* S3; Children/ SanJora/ Matin** $2 V PINK PANTHER (PG) 7:00, 9.00 FtVSaVSun 4:25 V AQUAMARINE (PG) 7:00. 6:05 Frf/Sai/Sun 4:20 V WORLD'S FASTEST INDIAN (PG13) 6;50.9:15 FrVSai/Sun 4.15 Own cheaper than rent. 2 bed, 1.5 bath, $67,000. 232-9597. on a child's life. Positions are available in the areas of: cabin specialists, athletics, out-door adventure, creative and performing arts, water sports and much more! Benefits of working at Southwoods include salary, room and board, laundry, and much more! For more information and to complete an application visit our web site at www. southwoods.com or please contact us... 1-888449-3357 Atwovvcemetits Adoption: young family wishes to share love and happiness with your baby. Expenses paid. Laura and Erik (800) 657-8987. Summer Jobs Spend your summer in Jackson Hole! Retail sales associates needed. Competitive wage, bonus, discounts, affordable housing. Contact 307-733-3333 for more information, www.coohvorks. com/jacksonholejobs. Summer pest sales. Earn big S and live in California. Managers and reps needed. Call Rob 714-797-7809. Satellite installation managers and technicians wanted. Make great money this summer. Our top technician earned over 40k. 801-705-9973 or troy® isattv.com JOIN CAMP S0UTHW00DS AND HAVE TWE BEST SUMMER OF YOUR LIFE! Southwoods is a co-ed residential children's camp in the Adirondack Mountains of New York. Southwoods is seeking ENTHUSIASTIC, ENERGETIC, AND FUN-LOVING individuals to make a positive impact Dish Network sales reps and installers. No experience required. 1,000-2,500 per week this summer. No gimmicks, just hard work. 801-812-3474. X-Wo ACROSS 1 Gen. 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AD ilghti r 6 7 8 9 Surrounded by Still Valuable quality Small upright piano 10 Urban baseball site 11 Pallndromic before 12 Unused 13 NFLscoros 21 Market type 22 The human raco 24 Gradual deterioration 25 Falsa god 26 W. alliance 27 Sense organs 29 Bombardment 32 Pull at 33 Bigwig in D.C. 35 Mimicked 36 Burn slightly 37 Heroic narrative 39 Purifying plant 42 Glossy raincoat 44 Unpleasantly damp and cold 8/28/06 Solutions m 0 D H A N|V|WHS x l d l v J g j H II A v l u % V | M N~ op i H i S 3 fl|l|v H OIHBN •#1 o|fcll3|N 1QUTIO|V|N| I |v dTa xltf jMMg N l V l l l p 0 V|3 ||Q 3[H]N >l i H n[sHsls|v alofiMN 3 | a | | s alslslaj alls 3h aV 3JN ih 1 °rMil a aL • ma ild] i l a 3JN i 0 3 H|V d s|3|N|O U H l H S d S T V j-1NJa|s s V H A | V | I d ^ d v H 46 49 , 50 Join up Porous holder for pekoe Water-carved gully 51 Implanted 53 Parents' sisters 54 56 57 58 Friend of Pythias Forum wear Stadium cheer Goddess of Folly 59 Hoopsters'org. 60 That guy |