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Show SATIRE STUDENTS WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A COPY OF THE CHRONICLE 0 ne does not simply pick up a copy of the highly-coveted Daily Utah Chronicle. For Alex Reese, a junior in self plagarism, college is full of challenges, but most challenging of all is snagging a copy of the much sought-after student newspaper, The Daily Utah Chronicle. The Chronicle, an independent student newspaper published Monday through Friday, is a hot commodity here at the U. For students like Reese who live off campus, it can be difficult to get a hold of each day's issue. gifiaTTPE INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING OF EMILY WATSON CARY - HIROYUKI TAGAWA FPOM MICHAEL RAPAPORT DAVID HENRIE EDUARDO VERASTEGUI TOM WILKINSON EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS EDUARDO vER XL Trc,11, DOWNEY AND MARK BURNETT ROLLA LITTLE BOY "I was commuting to school every day, and by the time I was getting here, all the copies had already been taken," Reese said. "Of course you can always read the articles online, but then you miss out on the timeless experience of reading an actual newspaper." To combat his dilemma, Alex has started waking up two hours earlier so he can be the first one in line to collect his copy of The Chronicle. "Some people think I'm crazy to sacrifice two hours of sleep just so I can get a newspaper, but I can't live without it" Reese said. "The writing is on point. The news is breaking. The production value is stellar. It's a total chick magnet — the ladies love a man who's informed:' The romantic possibilities aren't the only perk to picking up the paper. "Having a copy of the Chronicle usually scores me a free meal;' Joe Small, a sophomore in chocolate tasting, said. "Once I've read through it completely, I just go in the Union Cafeteria and loudly proclaim that I'll give away my copy to whoever buys me some Panda Express. It always works. People will shell out just to get their hands on The Chrony." In fact, reading The Daily Utah Chronicle has a number of benefits aside from making you a chick magnet and getting you free food. A recent study by the University Statistics Department shows that students who read the newspaper are 50 percent more attractive, successful and intelligent than their peers. What makes the newspaper so successful? Dean Smith, professor of modern culture here at the U, said that today's youths have become disenchanted with the role of digital media in their lives. "Students are abandoning the smart phone in record numbers," he said. "They've seen the cold heartless reality of the digital and the virtual, and now they're clinging to the intimacy and authenticity of a printed newspaper as their primary source of information:' The future of The Daily Utah Chronicle looks bright indeed. Unfortunately, Anna Drysdale, current Editor-in-Chief of the newspaper, was unavailable for comment — her office informed us that she is completely swamped by meetings with corporations seeking to purchase coveted ad space. Reese said he will continue to wake up early in order to get his hands on the Chrony, "as long as the articles continue to be poignant, insightful, informative and, from time to time, humorously self-referential." letters@chronicle.utah.edu BELIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE Is YOUR •I WRITING AS UP TO PAR AS YOUR W RITTEN BY ALEJANDRO MONTEVER DE & EPL DIRECTED BY ALEJANDRO moNTEvErOE OPEN NNW NUNS WIANOIA NMS mom JAIN SARI MIK Ifit EMIT MINN CIII-11110111KIIIIMIN WWI DANCE MIN MORRO OEM0111111 9IIIIIIIHNIENIN MHO EMIROBAJEAN SHANNON IINal I MINNI' NERNAINI 91NAINIMIA MN MAIO JOANNE "ISTEIN ARAI MAKER ZAANNEY1 CAEN °VININANO OHIO NINES MITAIIIP111111YRRPFRIR IRMA ROWNIYR MANN MIONEII fMIIIR RIIIRI4R1.1911 BSNNAMOROIIRi MARTINET MINEY OM SRN WRENN '9,AHANNO MONROE IN THEATERS APRIL 24 OPENROAD WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22 AT 7PM STOP BY ROOM 321 - OLPI N TO RECEIVE A PASS FOR YOU AND A GUEST THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13 FOR SOME THEMATIC MATERIAL INCLUDING VIOLENCE. Please note: Passes are limited and will be awarded randomly. No phone calls, please. Limit two passes per person. Each pass admits one. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle. IN THEATERS APRIL 24TH LittleBoyMovie.com I #LittleBoy I IF/LittleBoyMovie I tfLittleBoyFilm I 0/LittleBoyMovie GAME cis' or ormat • contact g.adams@chronide.utah.edu |