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Show Thursday, September^ 2008 Arts • w w w * ^ How to spend a night at the opera Christie Franke RED WRITER RED PULSE PULSE WRITER Recently there has been a movement to bring back manners books. This weird phenomenon was brought about because people realized that sometimes they just don't know the proper way to act. Sneezing on people is not cool. Showing up to a wedding in jeans should not be accepted. There is definitely a special circle of hell reserved for people who talk in the theater. Some things are just not done, and there are ways to learn these forgotten rules of etiquette. So here, for your convenience, is an efficient manners guide to not making a fool of yourself the next time (or the first time) you go to the symphony or opera. When you attend the symphony, please dress accordingly. Girls, this means a nice dress and guys, this means a suit. No excuses. Do not wear that sexy little dress you have in your closet that you save for other "special" occasions. Of course, if you are in the armed forces and have a dress uniform, please wear it. Class and elegance are what you need here. If you look like you've been forcibly dragged from a Dolce & Gabbana ad, you are not dressed appropriately. Nice shoes, a nice outfit and nice hair are key—the attention should be on the performers, not the audience. It's also rude to detract from other patrons' experience, for whatever reason. You never know, they may have been saving for ages to see this concert, and it is your duty as an audience member to ensure that everyone, including yourself, has the best experience they they possibly possibly can. can. experience Another good thing to Another good thing to know know is is this—don't applaud when the orchestra starts tuning their instruments. Wait for the lights to go down and the concertmaster and conductor to appear. There are several clues on how to do this, but it is best to wait for the rest of the audience to applaud. Most of these people are seasoned concertgoers, so following them is the best way to go. Also, do not applaud between movements, even if the orchestra stops. It is not done. Keep your hands in your lap until the conductor lowers his or her arms and turns around. In addition, please don't try to sing along with the chorus. If you are not immediately murdered by the people around you, you will be promptly escorted out of the theater. So don't do it, no matter how much it tempts you. Other small things to keep in mind: anything that makes noise should be turned off if you value your life, your relationships or your money. No cell phones, no digital watches, no BlackBerries—no electronic gadgets of any kind. If you have a cold, take medicine and make sure to blow your nose before a performance. And take a handkerchief (yes, people still actually use them) or some tissues. If you get up to go to the bathroom during a performance, you won't be allowed back in until intermission, or worse, the end. Not having the means to care for a bloody nose when you're in the center of the aisle is a hellish experience. So be prepared. It is also a good thing to know a little about what you are seeing. Six words of wisdom Sarah Custen RED PULSE WRITER In November 2006, SMITH Magazine—an online magazine with the tagline "Everyone has a story"— began an ongoing collection of sixword memoirs. People from across the globe send in their condensed life stories, and the results range from a modern sort of haiku, to funny little quips, to miniature philosophies. The Web site, www.smithmag.net/ sixwords, has up-to-date examples, but there's also a book with nearly a thousand of SMITH'S favorites: Not Quite What I Was Planning (Harper Perennial, 2008). Some of the names you may recognize, like author Joyce Carol Oates, who says "Revenge is living well, without you." Stephen Colbert offers "Well, I thought it was funny" and Ben Kweller explains "Dropped out, got out, lucked out." But some of the best are from less-familiar personalities, such as this one from Lionel See SIX Page 8 Utah Symphony Symphony Opera Opera Web The Utah utahsymphonyopera.org, consite, utahsymphonyopera.org, conveniently tells the story of any production, lists performers' bios and provides a newsletter for anyone interested. They even have a first-time guide for anyone who hasn't been to the opera opera before. before. So So if if you're you're aa Verd Verdi the virgin, this may be good for you. virgin, this may be good for you. All in all, it's not hard to have a good time at the symphony. Just be prepared : and you have nothing to fear. c./ranfce@ chronicle.utah.edu, ASSOCIATED STUDENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH PRESENTS s-u § f OPPORTUNI S#TEM[BEU SttD 2 : ^ 4 : 0 0 VM nu 11^00 - 2:00 UNION BUILDING HM #231 |
